How do you stay positive when dealing with TTC letdown?

Question

Hi all! I am just really looking for some advice from people who are dealing with the same thing as me. My husband and I have been TTC #1 for 5 months. I know it is not a long time to most people but for me, it feels like an eternity. I am 25 and my hubby is 27. We are both relatively healthy ( I have had some issues in the past but appear to be all good now) but for some reason I feel like we are never going to get pregnant! I know I shouldn't stress and feel negative but it is so hard when you want something so badly. I feel like I am a failure. I know how badly my husband wants to have a baby, as do I, and I am afraid if I can't make it happen he will secretly resent me. I know he would never say that and he is super supportive but it is just a fear I can't get out of my head. Really, I am just looking for some ideas or things you ladies have done to de-stress and not be so hard on yourself when TTC. I know there are so many of you who have been trying for so much longer so I probably sound foolish getting this worked up about 5 months but I can't seem to help it. Any advice you have would be greatly appreciated! Please no rude comments...it has been a bad day (AF started) and I have already felt like I am going to break down :-( Thanks again girls!

Answer 1

Yeah, sounds like OPKs don't work for you either. They're not good for everyone, so don't worry about that. Charting BBTs is much more reliable anyway!

Sorry you're having a miserable day. On AF day I always get a nice bottle of wine and treat myself to a box of choccies and a warm bath :) You should look after yourself first and foremost, OK?! It will also help you de-stress. My new technique is to chart until 3dpo (when Ov is confirmed) and then stop charting until AF arrives. That way I'm not doing the 2WW countdown. One day, I hope, I'll lose track of AF's due date, realize it's past 14dpo, then get a high BBT and then test and get a BFP. Here's hoping!!!

Answer 2

I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time. It can be stressful. My fiance and I have been trying for 10-11 months now. I have PCOS so I know that's why we are having so much trouble conceiving. The doctors have said that both of us are fertile, it's just my PCOS, which really sucks. It throws my cycles off and they end up very irregular. Everytime that I have taken a test, and it's said negative, has been a major let down for both of us. I feel the same way you do about your husband. I'm scared that if I can't give him a child that he will not want to be with me. It scares me, no matter how much he reminds me that he's not going to leave me over there because there's always adoption. He's really supportive. What has gotten me through the letdowns and obstacles is writing and most importantly talking and praying to God all the time about it. Here recently I have been so annoyed and depressed that I can't have kids without a hard time trying, yet my friends can do it one night and end up pregnant. So here recently I just said I give up about worrying all the time about being able to have a child(ren) (alot harder to do than to say) and I'm just going to let God handle everything and when He thinks the time is right, then He will bless us with joy. Even though I say that, I still find my self thinking about everything and getting depressed and aggravated because of everything. Right now, I'm experencing pregnancy like symptoms. I kind of have this feeling I might be, but I don't want to get my hopes up, then when I test in a few days, be heartbroken because of a big fat negative. All I can say is keep ya head up, stay positive even though I know it's hard, and that God is always there to listen and help you through everything. I help my advice helps you get through everything ok. Lots and lots and lots and baby dust to you and everyone out there who is TTC. God Bless and take care!!

You can email me at anytime if you would like to talk. I'm willing to listen and give as much advice as I am able!!!

Answer 3

My fiance left in June for a 3-month fishing job in Alaska. I ovulated the day he left and although we tried, we were unsuccessful. :( so now I have to wait til Septembe 20th.

In the meantime, I'm focusing on being active and healthy. I'm taking vitamin B complex, folic acid, vitamin D and other vitamins. Also cutting down on coffee. I feel since I have no chance of concieving anytime soon, I may as well focus on making my body healthier for when he gets back.

I feel better and being active, having fun and staying busy helps you not to focus on what could have been, but to focus on maintaining a healthy, happy lifestyle and building a better green house for growing your little bean!

Answer 4

Its been 4 months for me and period starts tomorrow I know how you feel it sucks.....I don't really know how to relax but I think that If i get a BFN then I am going to wait till its gets close to my ovulation get drunk and see what happens....I guess it wont hurt huh haha....you notice that most girls get pregnant when not worrying or stressing about it and theres lots that are usually drunk....So If a BFN should appear I am hittin the clubs and bars :)....I wish you tons of luck and baby dust just be patient it will come....good luck sweety!

Answer 5

Awe - I know all about your pain.  It SUX - BIG TIME.  My husband and I have been trying for the past 21 months - I know all the ins and outs, let me tell you.  I know the highs, the lows, the feeling of hope, then ending with such pain.  

You havent been trying for too long, all things considered, so keep your chin up and think about you.  You have to be number 1!!  

The day TB (The *****) arrives for me, I'm so upset and crying, I won't be around anyone but my husband and daughter (15years old)  I feel so hopeless...... but then the next day, I pick myself up and carry on.  It's the only thing to do.  It's not going to help you get pregnant if you're upset all the time - stress plays a huge factor in getting pregnant.  I wont say, 'Relax, stop stressing, it'll happen' <-- those words just hurt and make you feel like no one understands.  I will say, however, it makes a HUGE difference to talk to someone who's been through and or currently going through the same situation.  It makes you realize that you're not alone, and you can talk freely about it, without worrying that you're burdening someone.  

I agree with the other women, if a bottle of wine helps you on that dreaded day - do it!!  Enjoy it...... or a trip to Dairy Queen can do wonders too hahaha

If you want someone to talk to, feel free to find me - I'll answer any and all questions I can.  You'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel after!

Take up something like Yoga - relaxes you & helps de-stress.  I'm a Personal Trainer and am currently taking a couple courses that are helping me, with me, and will also help me, help others.  I'm taking:  Training for Delivery & Weight Loss After Pregnancy & Fertility Fitness Specialist.  See, they'll help me, and help others.  A win win situation!

I wish you bucket loads of baby dust!

Keep your chin up!  

Answer 6

This last month i was very upset when AF arrived.  My husband felt bad so he decided to give me "all the things pregnant women cant have"  I had lobster for dinner and sushi for app's and a couple of glasses of wine!  It did cheer me up.  Though i cant keep that up every month.