How do you stop having strong feelings for someone?

Question

I'm not going to go through the whole story haha that would take ages... but I really want to stop caring for someone and I don't know how.

Everytime I try to lure myself off of thinking of them it has the opposite effect, and now that school is starting it's more important than ever that I stop caring for him because I know I might do something stupid (and besides that, it doesn't work with us). I don't want to hate him, just be ambivalent with him....

Any tips or advice would be great, thanks!

By the way I'm sixteen years old

Answer 1

You stop trying. Time is the only healer, unless you can get that person to p**s you off; that way you wouldn't like them anyway.

You don't ever have to stop caring about someone. Caring about them and lusting after them are 2 totally different things. You need to be OK with caring about him but strong enough that you don't do that stupid thing your talking about. Keep reminding yourself that you will find love again.

For me, when I truly love someone I will never stop loving them. I am 33 and still have love for my high school sweetheart, my college love, and 2 others since then. But that doesn't mean I'm suppose to be with them or that they are even worthy of my love. But to look at them as having wasted my time or that at one time they were unworthy of my love would be wrong and I'd be lying to myself. I am thankful for all the love I have had over the years and would not change it for the world. I will die a happy woman knowing that I have been loved as deeply as I have.

So my suggestion is to be thankful for having those feelings and move on.

Besides we can all use the most amount of close friends we can get... you never know maybe he will end up being a close friend that you love even more as a friend.

Answer 2

try to ignore him

Answer 3

that as you already know can be a very hard thing to do.  And there's no one way to completely stop thinking about him.  But I find that the best way to get close if to find someone else.  That way all the things that make you think about him will instead make you think about this new person in your life.

Answer 4

realize that your young and theres going to be tones more of relationships a head for you . some more not so good ones aswell.

but the main thing is move on. maybe realize how much fun the single life is like chilling with your friends having no one to always worry about. but if you love having that relationship get out there and start looking for new guys. look at the good things of every guy you meet. itll help you open up to them more.

most of all its acceptance that you and the old guy are never getting back together and the drive that you have to move on with you life and be happy. its either that or youll always be miserable and lonely

YOU CAN DO IT. trust me i have. just takes a little time and optimism. you can keep the guy as a friend but sometimes that Makes it too hard on you. but if thats the case try staying away from him for a few months. no contact whatsoever then slowly go back to being friends. thats the best way

GOODLUCK!!!!!

Answer 5

I know this is going to sound like a lame answer,but, the only thing that will work, is time. It would do you no good to say think about other things, or go out more. You're going through what every 16 yr old goes through. When you're older, you'll look back at this and say"why did I waste time on that". I promise, it'll pass with time.

Answer 6

OK.  well you wont ever hate him.

it doesnt work like that.

I ended my 3 yr relationship 4 years ago- and still to this day if he was to show up at my door and ask me to marry him- I would.

You just got to remind yourself why it didnt work out and why it wouldnt work out now.  You dont have to hate him to get over him- because in turn that just makes you feel guilty and then you think of the positive of him.

Just take what happened as a positive learning experience- and put that to any new relationships that come up.

Now you know what you want.. and what you dont want.

Answer 7

Why would u want to stop caring for someone? thats not right

Answer 8

Look around in the room you're in and find something that does not remind you of that guy. Repeat this and find other objects and things that don't remind you of this guy until you snap out of it. works wonders.

Answer 9

you dont have to do anything, as the time passes you will forget him urself. or try to be involved with someone else...

Answer 10

it is hard to be in this place. i would just try to keep myself away from him. not talk or see him. it helps. try to focus on something else. but no matter what you do it isn't going to be easy. i am 28 and it still isn't easy.

good luck girl.

Answer 11

I've had this problem before, you have to make sure that you don't see them, this is difficult and you might have to plan some potential situations ahead, but as you don't see them as much your mind will find other things to think about.

Answer 12

your just going to have to move on tell yourself you care about him as a person but your not right for each other. you are young and if this was your 1st love per say then you will have feelings for him for a long time if not the rest of your life this is normal and if you are strong you can move on if he makes a move tell him I care for you but we just don't work together its a very hard thing to do because part of you wants to do it you must be strong and tell him no it wont work. I think once you find a new man things will be much better for you your mind will have something new to think about and soon it will be like he never even happened

Answer 13

I think it's impossible for most of us to be able to stop caring for somebody. From my experience, only time can help with this. The problem is that the same thing happens even if you don't want to loose your interest for someone. It's inevitable.

Answer 14

Its simple..

Think of all the negative things about that person every time the thought of him enters your mind. Divert your attention to something more productive and keep yourself busy all the time.

Answer 15

Find somebody else that likes you and have feeling for him..Make the other boy jealous and he might start liking you..

Answer 16

Time is your only answer.  Time heals all wounds.  Or at least wounded relationships.  Over time you'll feel less and less and eventually nothing for him.  He'll turn into a pleasant/unpleasant memory and all but vanish.