How do you stop jealousy and worry?

Question

Me and my girlfriend have been going out for a year and 1 month now. But its not your average normal relationship, i live in England and she lives in Germany. She is German and i am English.

Yes, its VERY hard this long distance relationship thing but we have made it a year and 1 month already.

I am her first boyfriend but she is not my first. She is 21 and i am 23. I can get extreamly jealous but she does not. Sometimes i show it, but other times i keep it held back. But i just CANT get out of my head that she may have found another man and cant tell me or she will find another man in the future.

I think i really show her way to much how much i care for her, but i cant stop this because thats just the type of person i am. I show her alot more than she does, but i accept that.

Then i always seem to get stupid images in my head thinking to myself "what if she is having s*x with these men?"... HOW DO I STOP THESE STUPID THOUGHTS??

Or if she does not txt for a while, i get worried. I feel one day i will push her away and i really dont want that :-(. I also seem to txt her right back after she has txt, should i hold back the txts for an hour or 2? Is there anything i can do to stop this problem i have?

Thanks for any help.

Answer 1

I'm a female, so I am not sure how much I can help, but I will try.  I have had boyfriends that were jealous of me.  Just talking to a guy and my bf walking up was enough to make him threaten to kill the guy I was talking to. Even if it was my cousin or something, he went nuts.  I broke up with all of the bf's that acted that way, if for no other reason to keep my male friends from not wanting to be my friends any more.  BF's are a dime a dozen, but friends bail you out no matter how you look or smell.  I suggest you get some counseling if you love this lady.  She would see the change in you and it would be awesome for your relationship.  I hate to sound cheesy, but back in the 70's there was this song; I was in a jealous relationship and the lyrics stuck.  "Hold on loosely, but don't let go.  If you cling too tightly, you're gonna lose control.  Your baby needs someone to believe in and a whole lotta space to breathe in."  I think that was 38 Special that did that song..............Old-timers, wanna back me up on that?  

Answer 2

aww man dood..i have the same problem..but mines not long distance..

it seems like i show more to her than she does for me.. it seems like i care more about her than she does for me..and it hurts because thats just how i am..

but i got no answer for you bro..i just on the same boat.