How do you talk to someone about their adoption?

Question

My biological sister was adopted by my grandparents and now that we are adults she refuses to talk about it. She refers to me as her niece and it really bothers me but I don't know how to talk to her about it or to get her to open up about it.

Answer 1

You cant make her talk about it. Some people never let it out and just keep their feelings in. My sister is like this now, and doesnt want to accept that she is adopted. She never talks about it and never wants to either.

Just let her break her silence in her own time. There is no rush for her to accept anything just yet. Some people live their lives not accepting it.

If she wants to refer to you as her neice, then that is out or your control too. It must be incredibly hard for you, but you have just be a bit patient.

Hope it all works out for the best for both of you.

xx

Answer 2

Hmmm, that's a tough one.  Legally you are her niece; but biologically you are siblings.  As long as she isn't trying to be an authority figure over you, let it be.  However, if she's trying to play aunt and pull rank, then I'd pull out the stops and say that the law made her your aunt but the genes make her your sister and EQUAL.  

Aside from that; let her know that you realize it's a sore subject for her, and tell her you are there to listen when she's ready to talk about it.

Answer 3

It is a very sensitive topic for her. Let her come to you when she is ready. It will be more comfortable for both of you.

Answer 4

The magic word is "ask". They (we) (you) can only say 'yes' or 'no' to your request. there is now no longer the same social stigma attached to adoption as there was even only a decade ago. Just don't intrude in her privacy.