How do you tell your child's grandma to stop doing something?

Question

We were at the Aquarium yesterday with Grandma. She's not old, 38, has a young child herself. So she's not that far off the baby boat. We all bought smoothies at the Aquarium. I was drinking mine while pushing a stroller with my daughter (7 months) in it. I stopped while they stopped to look at seals. All of a sudden my mother in law bent down and put her straw filled with Pina Colada smoothie into my daughter's mouth. Mind you this straw was also in a 8 year old, and 9 year old's mouth who have gotten my daugher sick 3 times while she was under the age of 3 months. Now, I was standing behind the stroller with my hands on the handles. What could I have done to tell her to stop feeding my daugher her germ infested smoothie? Please don't tell me this is how she's going to get her antibodies. I will not tolerate this. I gave my husband the evil eye and said in front of her, "I wish she wouldn't do that!" and he told me later he didn't know she was feeding the baby. HELP! I'm going nuts!

Answer 1

Her intentions have little to nothing to do with this. This is your baby and you need to raise the child in the way you see fit. I would suggest next time you are together casually bring up your dislike for community drinks or food being given to your little one. Tell her you noticed it being done at the aquarium and would prefer that if she felt the child was thirsty you have a sippy cup or bottle for them.

Answer 2

I understand your frustration.  My grandma is worst.  She gives my son a drink from her straw that is in her water jug that I know has not been thoroughly dishwashed, just rinsed out.  She will feed my 2 nephews, then give the spoon to my son, so he can eat after them.  There are soo many things you can catch by doing this, herpes, pneumonia etc.  I would have a talk with Grandma and tell her that you do not appreciate her community feeding.  I don't even share utensils with my son, nor drinks, unless he eats off of it first and then he is completely done with it, then I will finish it off.  But if I have drank something and he wants some then I just have to give him his own.  Talk to the woman and lay down your rules, tell her if you want your daughter to have a smoothie then you will get it for her in her own container. Maybe you should have husband talk to his mother, or maybe the three of you should sit down and all have a talk about this.

Answer 3

I would have just said that I didn't want the baby sharing with others because she seems to be getting sick easily lately. Honestly, that would gross me out too.

Answer 4

Use a little humor. Start with saying, "I know you'll probably think I'm a complete germaphobe, but when you put that straw in my baby's mouth, I completely freaked out. From now on, please don't feed my child without asking me. Remember that my baby gets sick easily and I'm the one that will have to take care of her." Unless she's completely insane, I'm pretty sure that will do it.

Answer 5

Don't say anything to your husband, tell your mother in law that you don't want your child drinking out of the same straw.  Be blunt without being a bi*ch.  Do use words like 'I'd rather not' or 'I don't think is a good idea'.  Tell her flat out "I don't want this to happen."  It may hurt her feelings at the time, but later explain to her that you don't want YOUR child to get sick and that she needs to respect YOUR way of raising YOUR child.

Answer 6

Chill. I'm positive that she didn't intend to harm your daugther.

Answer 7

nobody is above the law of your household! she should not be feeding YOUR baby pina-colada, germ-infested smoothie.tell her please not to do that and if she wont listen,it shows she doesnt care what you say and its time to put your foot down!grandma or not nobody has any right to give your baby anything you dont want them to have!

Answer 8

If the grandmother is 38, I can't help wondering how young she was when she had her child which now has a child of its own!. People having babies FAR too young all around methinks...

A few more books and a bit less shagging is required.

Answer 9

I think it depends on how she did it.  Were you watching her while she was doing it?  If so, you've got to say something directly to her when it happens.  She may get upset for a little while, but at least she now knows not to do it, which is the most important part.

But, if she does things like that when you're not looking, then she knows she shouldn't do it and she's being totally disrespectful to you.  If that's the case, that's a little tougher.  You might want to talk to your husband about that because it's not a good thing.  It's like she's teaching your daughter to do things behind your back.  (I know she's only 7 months, but if it continues when she's older, it could be bad news)

Answer 10

Just tell both your husband and her how you feel.  Try to stay calm though, I was in a similar situation and had a total breakdown when I tried to talk to her.  I told her she was direspectful, mean and all sorts of things and it didn't really help my case.  But if you stay calm and say "Hey, this is MY child and I would appreciate a little respect" she can't really ignore you.

Answer 11

You will have to face the music. Talk with her one on one, that is the only way to do it. Now now, don't go and be nasty there is no need for that.

Answer 12

Just be greatful that you have such a wonderfully supportive family and accept we all do things differently. We all share drinks and food in our family and always have done so in reality she probably didn't know she was upsetting you. When you go out next time just tell her that baby has been a bit under the weather and you would rather she didn't give her anything to eat or drink without asking you first.

Answer 13

what is your problem? they are related after all, and how do you know it was because of the other children that she got ill? my son got ill under 3 months as do loads of kids because they are building their immune system which is a good thing (obviously a sniffle or a little bug, not anything serious!) and why give your poor husband the evil eye? what had he done?if it bothers that much just tell her directly and leave out the  snide comments instead of moaning and groaning about it and thinking the world is against you because, oh my gosh grandma dared to give your daughter smoothie from a straw that a 'relative' had used!

Really there are much more important things to worry about in life!

Answer 14

start off with grandma it's affecting the child i would appreciate if you stop doing it.....its for OUR child's own good.

Answer 15

I dealt with this a lot when my children were born.  My MIL watches my children every weekday from about 7am-7pm and for parts of the weekend.  Honestly, you just have to be clear (without being rude) of what is acceptable and what is not.  I know my MIL didn't mean to do things I didn't like, but she had to know not to do it.  She is truly a very nice person, and to make the boys laugh she would pinch their butt (gently) when changing them.  I just didn't like this.  I asked her to please not to that...and she doesn't.  Instead she pokes them in the belly button - acceptable to me.

Answer 16

omg what the freak?!  doctor maybe?!

Answer 17

u apparently didnt come from a really close family we used to all share the same drinks all the time she is going to share stuff with her cousins its a fact of life we all share with our kids as well it is good for em and will build immune system if it really bugs you just dont take her around her