How do you tell your wife you are tired of being married?

Question

I am a bi man, married for many years. I want out of the marriage, still love her but am tired of the situation. I do not want out because I have met a man, but want to embrace my bisexuality, leagealy. She knows I am bi but does not allow any activity. And I am afraid what will happen to my emotionally fragile wife when I confront her. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

She knew what she was getting in to by marrying someone who is bisexual...

At least you are being honest and do not want to be unfaithful and have chosen to take some responsibility.

You have to live your life for YOU....so - do what is healthy for the BOTH of you. If you have no desire to be with her and only her, then you are not doing her any favors by sticking around if you cannot commit.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Be honest and tell her the truth.

Answer 3

just tell her, i know if my husband was tired of being married i would say okay leave then i would not keep no man that does not want to be kept or waste energy trying to make you stay lol your probally doing her the favor by leaving, an life will go on and she will be alright

Answer 4

u made the commitment to get married, deal with it! the point of marriage is that u want to spend the rest of ur life with the person and u knew all along that ur only to sleep with ur spouse (of course she doesnt allow activity) u also knew u were bi-sexual and if u wanted to explore it then u should have done that more before. the point of marriage is settling down! if u still wanted to embrace bi-sexuality then u should have gotten it all in before u settled down. u cannot get divorced just bcuz ur tired of the situation! why dont ppl understand that? when u get married its a promise to love them no matter what so u should be doing everything u can to save ur marriage! if u still love her then u should be actually trying. theres obviously something wrong with ur marriage so i suggest u go to couple's therapy and sort it out. u need to be aware of the responsibilities of marriage. this is NOT a good reason to go thru divorce.  

Answer 5

Look we live in a society where years ago being g*y was so taboo, MANY not just men but women, were basically brainwashed into believing they could lead straight lives.  

In the past 20 years but especially the past 10 society has for the mos part learned to let individuals embrace their identities and whatever sexual orientation they choose in large AND society has done a good job at shoving it in our faces and making us fairly numb to the whole issue(which to me is NOT a bad thing as it helps bring issues to the table and get them resolved or at least understood).  However many of those people who did attempt to conform are now suffering even more so, as they watch society embrace all this newness and accept it and even allow g*y marriages now, so on and so forth, where does that leave all those duped into thinking they had no choice??? Suffering just like this guy, only wanting live the way he was told he couldn't so many years ago.  Unfortunately, the truth often hurts.  It doesn't sound at all as though you have ill intentions, just that you want to live by your heart.  No one says life is easy but, most of us say live today like it's your last, we only have one to live, so either you both continue suffering or you stop being worried about how you'll hurt everyone else, and try now, in a society of acceptance, to live what you feel in your heart.  Best of luck!

Answer 6

There is nothing you can say to her that will make the hurt any easier.  You should just explain why you want out and reassure her that you do love her.  This is something that needs to be done because you can't go on living that way and you don't want to resent her later if you stay.  Just hang in there and you will see what a weight has been lifted off of you by getting out.  You also need to allow her to move on with her life with someone who is in love with her without a doubt.  Good luck

Answer 7

Embrace your wife for pete sake!...what do you want to do go out there and get aides??.

Get a grip and fly right!

Answer 8

Suggestions? Yes. Just say, "Honey, I'm an A$$hole!"

Just because you're bi, it doesn't mean you can be with two genders at the same time. I'm not g*y, but I heard one g*y say, "bi is fake, make up your mind!"

If I saw your wife, I would ask her this question, "how in a world you're not discussed to be with your husband?"

Edit: Unbelievable. I can't believe some of these people. If you met another woman who you wanted to experience something different with, those people would eat you alive. But just because it's a male-male situation, they feel sorry for you???? Non-since!!!! To me, it doesn't matter if it's male or female.... sorry, not sympathy from me.

AnJi, or really, she knew what she was getting into? by marrying bisexual? Oh well, if he knew he was bi and still married her, didn't he know what he was getting into?

Answer 9

If your bi, don't you think the smart thing would have been to not marry at all? I mean come on, you promised to be with her, now you just want to leave her because you want to poke at some a**holes? Pathetic.  

Answer 10

you lying to her about how you feel and not giving her all of you is hurting her more than the temporary pain she will feel when her marriage ends......she deserves someone better than you who will love only her and be attracted to only her.........she doesn't allow "activity" because that is cheating....you should tell her as soon as possible there is no good time to hear that your marriage is over.......the longer you wait the harder it will be for her to hear it......try telling her when you know there will be someone to pick of the pieces someone like her mom or sister or best friend........you want to make her she stays safe and that there is someone there to help her after you drop that huge bomb on her........ps you need counseling........how selfish are you that you would do that to someone  

Answer 11

You seem to be a great person. Pay no attention to the fools answering this and yelling at you. They are just bitter women and don't understand.

I am a woman in the same situation. I am bi and my husband knows it. He is very bothered by it and does not let me "play".  Although it does bother me some of the time, we are still very happy.

I would take it very slowly with her and comfort her the best you can. Honestly tell her that is not her fault at all.  Yes you are married but there is such a thing as divorce. I am guessing these people commenting are not married and/or living in the 1950's. You did make a commitment but things change. You are a human being and we tend to change.

I hope this all works for the best. I wish you the best of Luck!

Pay no attention to these FOOLS.

Answer 12

shes better off without you. selfish pig. and you will come running back to her when your little adventures go all wrong

ur an idiot mate.

Answer 13

Tell her the truth, that you want to explore you sexuality. Be honest with her.

Add~~~ I would say this to any man considering an affair. That way it will save the poor wife from having to deal with a cheater. If you can not stay faithful leave!!!!! Male or female

Answer 14

Wow...How ****** up. You people pisse me off.

Answer 15

Here's how you tell her - you say, "Wife, remember how I promised you that I would love, honor, cherish, and be faithful to you until death parts us? Well, it turns out that I'm huge liar who can't be trusted. See, all of the things I vowed, to you and to God, were complete bull c**p. When I married you, I vowed to put your needs before my own, but that was just a huge lie. In reality, I care more about my own desires than I could ever care about anyone else's. In fact, the very reason I'm leaving you is something that I vowed I'd never do - I promised to love you, "forsaking all others," but I changed my mind. Sorry, but I didn't really mean any of my wedding vows, it just seemed like the right thing to say at the time. Unfortunately for you, you married a self-centered, self-absorbed, unbelievably selfish person. Better luck next time."

That should about do it...

Let's be honest, being bi but not being allowed "any activity" is the lamest excuse for leaving your wife that I've ever heard. My husband's straight, and he's not "allowed" any "activity" with any other women, either. When he married me, he promised to be faithful to me and "forsake all others." ALL others, as in - men, women, whoever. I'm betting it's the same thing you promised to your wife.

****In response to your additional details: Hahaha! Nobody's bashing you because you're "tryin to take care of your child." What does wanting to sleep around with men have to do with taking care of your child??? People are bashing you because you're selfish and self-absorbed. And no matter what else you may or may not have done for your child, leaving your child's mom so that you can have s*x with men isn't going to win you any "Father of the Year" awards.

Answer 16

If you love her, why would you want out?  Sounds like the typical male to me, you want out so you cal fool around.  The thing you have to consider is that yeah maybe you'll have some fun with a couple of guys or other women, but a year from now you'll still be alone.  Talk to your wife about your feelings, and it might help just to release them.  Don't ruin a good marriage with someone you love, just to feel "free" again.

Answer 17

Just be honest with her.. tell her what you want.  Be tactful. Maybe she'll be accommodating.  And if after you've expressed what you wanted and she still cant compromise with you then there is not much left.

Answer 18

If you knew you didn't know what you wanted you shouldn't have gotten married. No matter what s*x you prefer man or women or both when you marry you stop being with other people period this is just as bad as any other person who can't stay monogamist your sexual preference doesn't give you a pass on your marriage vows. This is just as bad as if you would have said I sick of her now I'm ready for some fresh meat it's the same thing learn to think with the head on your shoulders.

Answer 19

Wow, you are in quite the pickle...no pun intended.