How do you think of my poem?

Question

The Year 7 Obstacles

Here I lay, staring at the endless sky

A voice is calling to me but I don’t know why

My head is buzzing with questions and lies

A person in my head screams and cries

So many homework has flooded my brain

Of dirty, mucky water and strong acid rain

A crowd of people pushing makes my head fuzzy

The noise they make and the road makes the world buzzy

The cold winter night freezes me from top to toe

Stormy nights strike and make me want to go

The heat makes me thirst, parched, sticky and dozy

It’s hard to bear ice-cold nights without anything cosy

The chores have sent tornadoes in my head

Cuts and bruises are always burning red

Mud and dirt has polluted and stuck

Running up stairs has made me melt into muck

Falling, tripping, slipping off banana peels

The people that bully, tease, lie and steal

Stalkers and shadows that follow you as they might

When you turn around, they are out of sight

The overdue library book your lost homework

The project and evil test monster that may lurk

The horrid speech, the boring lesson

Wouldn’t the school hours lessen?

Finding clean space, finding clean air

With obstacles like this, it must be rare

For an unfortunate year seven

Past years were bittersweet and holidays are like heaven

Answer 1

definitely life.

It looks like you force rhymed in a couple of places but over all its pretty good

The flow is a little choppy but poetry doesn't have to conform to anything.

Answer 2

*clap clap* that was rad! haha i can tell u dont like school (me either) but that was awesome how you took what was going on in the world...like social studies/history kool

Answer 3

really good poem!!!!!

Answer 4

I think this is really good. Full of pain

Answer 5

i Love it its very beutiful and it kinda sounds liek me cause you can tell you dont like homework and it sounds like you dont really like school eathier and i like it cause it says "Falling, tripping, slipping off banana peels the people that bully, tease, lie and steal" that sounds like people in my class and school well all i can really tell you is i love your poem and keep writing cause this one is terrific

Answer 6

it sure sounds like you dont like winters(because they make you feel alone) or school (because you cant find much of a point to it and/or you dont like the people there)

i like it, i have written similar but only like 7 lines. i cant get much farther when the words stop rhyming.