How do you view marriage?

Question

I asked a similar question in another forum, but I wanted to get a broad array of answers in regards to relationships and marriage. I watched a special that conducted an in-depth study of African American relationships, and I figured I would be justified to explore all relationships and see how people in general view marriage today. This is not in regards to feminist and how they’ve “plotted to take over the world”; just from your own personal opinion and experience, how do many of you personally contribute to the current relationships that you’re in? What do you do for your significant other, and what do they do for you? Do YOU feel that the women of today are too independent or try to dominate relationships (if so please explain)? Or do YOU feel that we don’t understand what it means to support our men? Tell me how does your “Queen” conduct herself in the relationship with you? You don't have to answer every question, I'm just looking for feed back.

Answer 1

I view marriage as an outdated institution. Sure for some it still actually works but for many others it doesn't. The statistics tell the story that the odds are stacked not in favor of it. Maybe people are too lazy to bother working at it. I think it might have to do with fairy tales and such. They want everything to fix itself. Probably looking for instant gratification.

As for me, no thanks. The odds are stacked against you. Even more so if you're a hetero male. The laws are biased against you as well. I see no benefit to marriage at all.  

Then again, I'm biased in the sense that I enjoy being alone. Unlike most people who "need" someone around them 24/7 I don't. I can do as I wish and not answer to someone else. It would take a major change of opinion and attitude, habits, etc. for me to get into a relationship but marriage is not in the cards for me.

Answer 2

On marriage: Outdated.

On what we do for each other: I listen to his problems; I vow great harm on all who oppose him; I come to see his performances and give him honest feedback afterward. He supports me in all of my endeavours; he puts a smile on my face when I badly need one; he listens to me on the radio and gives me honest feedback afterward.

On women and independence/domination: In some cases, I think women can be too domineering, but so can men. There's only such thing as being "too independent" when you don't know when you could genuinely use some help. I think most women don't have that problem.

Answer 3

I view marriage like a business to be used for financial gain.

I've said many times before that I have no intention of getting married until I'm over 50. There is no point in doing so earlier.

You can have a committed relationship WITHOUT a piece of paper, and if you need that paper to feel secure, then you are either with the wrong person, or you are very superficial.

When I'm over 50 (assuming marriage laws are the same) I'll THEN get married to get the financial and legal benefits. But while I'm young, there is no advantage (or point) to getting married.

Marriage is NOT about love, because love exists without marriage. Marriage is a way for insecure people to feel like they have someone.

Answer 4

Good if you love the person you marry. If there are other reasons than love for marrying a person, it is stupid.

As for women being independent I like that. I don't like clingy woman. All I ask for is honesty and commitment.  A relationship is dead once there is no more communication. As for dominating women, the relationship would never get that far. I'd get rid of her after a date. Nobody likes a b*tch.

Answer 5

Nowadays I would view it as a way to jeopardize my assets.

Answer 6

I don't mind being in a relationship, but I never intend to get married. There is just no reason for me to do so.

Answer 7

I can only say it has become outdated unfortunately, due to many morons being permitted to marry, thereby aiding the once respected institution in its decline to become little more than a legal process of cohabitation. When one observes how easy it has become to obtain a divorce, marriage has become more like a carnival ride one may try out until they realize there is work involved that either they didn't expect or they are not mature enough to undertake.

Answer 8

Its a sacred union between a man and a pregnant woman.

Answer 9

I do plenty in our relationship. Actually, we have fairly traditional roles. I clean the house and he cleans outside of the house (mowing the lawn, killing weeds, picking up dog poo, trimming trees...etc). He also takes out the garbage and enjoys doing laundry. I clean the bathrooms, the floors, the dishes (though he will wash them if I feel tired), the bedroom. I also change the sheets and dust (specific detailed things are usually my job). It isn't because of our gender, it's because Chris (my boy) is better at lifting and designing, while I'm better at remembering that things like the dust behind the fridge. We also pick between the jobs we like. I really find changing the sheets satisfying...especially when you crawl under the blanket and feel how soft and clean they are.

Anyway, we both work full time jobs. Chris gets home before me and will often walk the dog, so we have time to sit down and eat together (I cook). I think our relationship is all about sharing and working together. We often take days just to clean and the rest of the week is relaxation and family time. We also make sure to have s*x regularly, even if we're tired. We always feel better after the experience anyway and it brings us much closer. Like I said, it's give and take. I don't dominate him and he doesn't dominate me. We do have a leader in our family and that is Chris. We discuss choices together, but he has the final say. I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing. We need leaders. It's up to the family to choose who the leader is.

Our partnership is something that we continuously work on. We have our fights, but we try to respect one another. And, apologize when we're in the wrong. It works very nicely.

Answer 10

Unnecessary.

The relationship is more important than the marriage.

Answer 11

"How do you view marriage?"

Through a very long range telescope.

Answer 12

Marriage was once the core foundation of any family & country's greatness.  With the decline of strong marriages (+ commitments) comes the decline of "family" & countries.  

In my personal experience, if a guy is lucky enough to find a good woman, then he is living in heaven.  And if he marries the wrong woman, he lives in h**l.  A woman can make or break a man.

Answer 13

I view it as the ultimate commitment between a man and woman. Whether it be between them and God or them and a certificate, it is a holy union.

Answer 14

As a guy, marriage is the farthest thing in our (men's) mind, unless he is the religious type.

For some reason, women fantasize about their wedding and being married.

In the year 2008, marriage is about a woman finding a man to latch onto so she doesn't have to work and can be taken care of.  If the marriage ends in divorce, she's pretty much guaranteed alimony and child support.  

Where's the equality in that?

Edit...

Tasha, Thanks for acknowledging that men are afraid of being betrayed and have their possessions taken by a woman.  

Of course, we're afraid.  In the USA, over 50% of marriages end in divorce.  That's where the guy gets screwed over by the legal system.

Also, I appreciate the woman's perspective on why marriage is such a big deal.

About those guys that look for a women to stay at home, cook and clean... etc.  All I can say is those are the guys that were probably raised by single mother's and still very young/immature.  Those guys didn't have a true male role model to show that they can be independent and how to fend for themselves.  They're looking for another momma to coddle them.  It's a sad state of being.

Answer 15

i have no interest in ever getting married. i have seen too many guys turn into P- whipped, lame a/s/ses the minute they put a ring on a woman's finger. makes me sick.

Edit: Sure, I'd be glad to elaborate. I have seen time and time again....a guy puts a ring on the first woman's finger that comes along.....and actually stays with him. And the guy is so desperate to get married/ have kids because he is "getting older". So the minute he puts the ring on her finger, she turns into a monster. Someone that makes his life miserable. But he goes ahead and marries her anyway. After all, he feels that time is running out. So he does everything she tells him to. No fishing, have to go to her mom's for lunch on saturday. no this, no that. do this, do that. no beer, no dessert. who needs that?

Answer 16

I view marriage as a union of two people who are combining their likes, dislikes, strengths, weakness, all into one union. In my marriage we interchange all what I have just told you.

Answer 17

I don't think I need marriage to be happy.  I'm perfectly content being in a committed relationship without being married so I can take it or leave.  However, my bf feels differently so we may eventually get married.  

We make decisions together.  If we happen to not agree, usually the ones who feels the most strongly about something wins the argument (like whether or not to get married.  I don't care one way or the other).

EDIT  You can probably tell that I'm very independent, but I'm in no way domineering.  I don't demand everything be my way.  I know women like that and I don't like them.  I like men who don't let me walk all over them.  And I don't put up with men who try to push me around and make all decisions for me.

Answer 18

how do many of you personally contribute to the current relationships that you’re in?

I research places to go on dates, I plan dates, I communicate my feelings and what I want. I make gifts and set time aside on anniversaries. I tell him I love him. I encourage him to pursue his interests.

What do you do for your significant other, and what do they do for you?

Everything I just said. He takes me out to eat, drives me places, tells me he loves me, and is always there to talk to.

Do YOU feel that the women of today are too independent or try to dominate relationships (if so please explain)?

Nope.

Or do YOU feel that we don’t understand what it means to support our men?

Nope.

Tell me how does your “Queen” conduct herself in the relationship with you?

Hmm?

Answer 19

I view marriage as useless, unnecessary and outdated.

Answer 20

I personally contribute to my current relationship with companionship, intelligence, humor, love, care, etc.

I'm always there for my boyfriend. I support him in everything that he does, am a shoulder for him to cry on, we are best friends. I listen to his problems and give him advice, I introduce him to female thinking, etc. I work to bring in money and help keep the house nice and clean.

I don't think women are TOO independent. But I do think we are more independent. I think that's a good thing. We help support our families and are more educated so we are more enjoyable to talk to and have alot more to talk about. We give men their space because we have our own stuff going on.

I do think women try to dominate relationships. We want our man to know if they cheat, they're basically dead. We want them to respect us and that we are choosing to be with them. We want to make sure we are not the ones who get our hearts broken.

I think supporting a man is just being there for him, letting him vent, being a good friend to him, not making him worry that you are being unfaithful, supporting him in his career / with his family / with his hobbies, just being a good companion and lover.

Oh, and I think marriage is a way of letting your significant other know that they are the one for you, that you don't want anyone else, and are content to be with them for the rest of your life. It's a commitment to be true to them, support them, and build a life with them. Can you have that without marriage? Yes.