How do you word the invitation?

Question

i'm getting married 03*21*09 and my fiancee and I will be having a potluck dinner reception. The only problem i'm having is how do I word that on the invitation? Also, would I add a little card asking what they would like to make? I have a total of 85 guests. If it helps, I will be making my own invitations. Thanks for the help!

Answer 1

Hi and congratulations!

Having a potluck is OK.  However, you need to coordinate the potluck between your family, your fiance's family, and maybe some close friends.  It would be in poor taste to put this on the invitation.  

So...try to coordinate it yourself (with your fiance's help).  Call your family and his and your good friends.  Decide what you want to serve and who can make what.

Then....who will do the serving?  Will this be a hot meal?  You need to think of these things.

Remember that you do NOT have to serve a meal.  You can do a dessert reception or a finger food/dessert reception.  But, these types of receptions would need to be at a non-meal time, so say, from 2-5 would be good.  Just an idea.

If you want a meal, and you want a potluck, it's fine....but coordinate it with family and close friends only....not your entire guest list.

Answer 2

I'm going to have to agree with those saying it's not the best idea.  If you're trying to save money, why not ask someone in your family who is a good cook to help you make some dishes, like lasagna, chicken alfredo, salads, etc.  You will definitely save money, and people won't have to worry about what to cook for a WEDDING they have been invited to. I know that if I were invited to a wedding where I needed to bring something to eat, I would probably not go.  Sorry.  Good luck.

Answer 3

hello. i disagree with everyone. a pot luck is a way to not only save money but so everyone can bring there favorite dish. you could include a card saying its a potluck dinner and ask when they RSVP if they would like to make something and what they would like to make. dont put pressure on someone to bring something. also make sure you have phone numbers so you can call if more then 1 person desides they want to make an itam. or you could suggest a food item on each card that is not hard to make. that way you can have a variety and no one bringing the same item.

Answer 4

I agree with the 1st person. Do not ask people to bring food to your wedding.  If you can't afford to feed 85 people either cut your list or figure out another way to do things.  I know I wouldn't go to a wedding that I had to carry food to.  You don't have to have a dinner.  Do something simple; a dessert reception would be nice and a lot cheaper.

Answer 5

DON'T have a potluck. If you are inviting people to a party you're hosting for them, then you are responsible for feeding them.  

Answer 6

Usually I wouldn't ask people to bring food to a wedding - its one of those events that you put on yourself.  However, you could word it in a way that instead of people bringing a present, could they please bring their favorite dish they love to serve their loved one (keeping in with the whole marriage/life partner celebration).  Its a delicate situation.  If you want to stipulate either a dessert, salad or whatever, then do so.  But I personally think you will be opening a whole can of worms.  Good luck.

Answer 7

I see nothing wrong with having a potluck, however I wouldn't make all 85 guests bring something (that's probably gonna be at least 50 dishes [considering some of your invitees are probably couples and/or families and would only bring one dish collectively] that you will need to have served and kept hot/cold!) Maybe you and your mom and your fiance's mom and other family members could each make 5 or 6 dishes, and do it that way.

I personally wouldn't attend a wedding where I, as a guest, would be required to bring food (even if it was in place of a regular gift!) However, if it were for a family member or close friend, I'd help with preparations for sure!

Good luck!

Answer 8

I would talk to family prior to sending out invites and have your family bring the main dishes because they are your family and should be more than willing to help out. Then after you have it figured out I would just do an rsvp card that says that its a potluck rather than the main invite so its a lil less give me give me. Put a small space on your rsvp that they can write what they wish to bring with how many people should attend. I hope it helps and congrats!

Answer 9

Do the regular wording

so and so invite you to....

then at the bottom

"In lieu of gifts, the bride and groom have requested a pot luck dinner.  Please bring your favorite dinner dish with you"

on the RSVP you do the general card again and under will/will not attend you can leave a spot and write

Type of dish you would like to bring

______________________________

Answer 10

Sorry, but you dont just invite people to a wedding and ask them to bring a dish.  A wedding is an event you host where if you are having a dinner of any sort it should be on you and your fiance, not your guests.  If I got an invite that had a card in it askign me what dish I wanted to make I'd be like "excuse me?"  If yuou are intent on having a potluck (which I suggest you need to rethink) you need to call close friends and family and ask them personally how they feel about this and what dish they could bring.  you cant just send it out in an invite and expect people to participate in it.  Especially because it is pretty custom for guests to bring a gift too and some might be very bothered that they are expected to bring food and a gift for you when your wedding cost is being kept minimum by them being ecpected to bring their own food.  We couldnt afford a huge dinner reception either so my reception was at my parents home and my mom made all the food.  it was cheaper that way and nobody was expected to bring anything but themselves.

Answer 11

I think that everyone who is saying to "have a wedding you can afford" or "not to make guests bring their own food" has never realistically priced or paid for a wedding. Or mommy and daddy are paying for it or plastic is.

That said, I do agree with everyone else who has said to coordinate this with close friends and family and not your entire guest list. Similar to a registry this is the kind of information that should be spread by word of mouth.

Another idea is  to use celebration/barbecue/picnic instead of reception since it would make it a more informal event and would make people more comfortable in asking to bring something.  

Answer 12

A potluck would be a very bad idea. If you coordinate just your close family members to bring in some food then that would be okay, but if you ask your other guests to bring food, then they may not want to come. I personally would not attend a wedding where I was expected to bring my own food. I'm getting married next year some time (no set date yet) but my close family has already agreed to help with food. My parents and my fiance's parents have enlisted some of their friends to help, but none of my other guests will help prepare food. I understand wanting to cut costs but it's just kind of rude to ask your guests to bring their own food, just like to send a note that says where you are registered at... It's not good wedding etiquette. Sorry, but that's my honest opinion. I hope you figure out something that will make everyone happy.