How doe you help an only child of 4 years cope with another child coming into the family?

Question

How doe you help an only child of 4 years cope with another child coming into the family?

Answer 1

Sit down and talk with them about it if you can but don't make a really big deal out of it. Ask them how they feel about it and talk about how it will be fun some of the time and not fun at other times. Don't worry, most of us survive having a sibling :)

Answer 2

Get him involved in the pregnancy as much as possible. I would go to the clearance rack of baby clothes at walmart and let my son pick out something for the baby. He loved that he was buying the baby something just from him and he loves seeing the baby wearing something he bought her. Talk to him about baby names and let him give suggestions (ultimately the name is your choice but it makes them feel like they matter in the choice too). You would be amazed though I thought my son would have issues as well being that he has been an only child for 9 years. He was so excited and has been so loving and wonderful. It is a joy to see how they interact to a new sibling. Good luck to you!

Answer 3

Don't assume it will be a thing to cope with. Most 4 year olds like being a big sibling. Get him/her all excited about being a big sibling and big helper and how much fun its going to be. Let them make something for the baby's room, like a picture you frame and ask them if they have anything they don't want anymore like toys they would like to give the baby.

Answer 4

I would probably not tell the child until you start showing if possible, because to a four year old nine months will seem a very long time! I think it is important that you have plenty of chats with the child, and let them talk about both good and bad things without feeling guilty or like they will be punished.

Also try to talk to the child about what it will be like when the new baby comes, and what will happen. So include things like you will need to be in hospital for a few days, but the child can come and visit. Where the child will stay during this time (with father, or grandparents etc). Let them know that you will have to do a lot for the new baby at first because it is not grown up and independent like the older child. Also every chance you get reassure the child that you will love them just as much and will be available for cuddles and special times, even if sometimes you may seem busy with new baby.

A good idea which I have seen work really well is to help the four year old choose a special present for the baby, and also prepare a special present from the baby to the child.

I really hope things go well and congratulations on number two!

Answer 5

This is an answer I wrote to a similar question a few weeks ago.

maybe it will work for you.

heard this really cool story,

Basically new baby comes so the parents buy a very special present for big brother. When the big bro goes in to meet baby for the first time the parents explained to him that "His" new baby brought him a special present for being willing to share his mommy and daddy with him. so in the bassinet with the new baby was the gift. the little boy was so enchanted by this that literally from then on "his" baby could do no wrong.

I am going to do a similar thing with my son He will be 27 months when the new baby comes. They may be a little younger but from the get go I am going to try to help my son view the baby as a gift not a threat to his world.

Answer 6

Geez u sound like the kids "coping" with death. I had my daughter when my son was 4 and I thought he would be jealous. During the pregnancy I talked to him about having someone to play with and being a big boy and helping mommy. When she came I couldn't have asked for a better sibling relationship. He protects her, loves her, & comforts her.  

Answer 7

Make the idea fun for the 4yr old.  Ask him for his ideas and make him feel important.  No matter what they are make them matter.  He will feel more compelled to help on his own if your using his ideas.  Even if they are just little ideas he will feel special tooooooo~