How does an 11 year old?

Question

My 11 year old is going to be entering high school at the end of the month. Yes I said high school. (she has an IQ of 165 and skipped two grades one in elementary and one in middle school). Some of her friends who are her age (11) have begun to pull away from her because they think that once she is in high school she will not want to associate with them any longer. How can I advise her to approach these kids to assure them that they are and always will be her friends and that the kids she will be in school with are simply that, kids she will be attending school with, although hopefully she will gain friendships there as well.

Answer 1

I assume your eleven year old is not going to be in the after school activities of the high school that are appropriate for much older students and won't be driving in cars with teenagers or going to dances or dating as such things are not appropriate for any eleven year old no matter how cognitively intelligent.  

Therefore she will have time for her friends after school and on weekends to go to the park and skating rink and tween movies and other places appropriate to her age. If there is a tween hangout like the skate park she could go there and eventually develop crushes on 11-12 year old boys instead of the 16-17 year olds at her school who, if they took any kind of interest in her at all, are obviously dealing with some issues you don't want in your home.

What if you made sure all her friends had activity tickets if there is such a thing at your school districts and she could attend games and concerts and plays with her same-age friends but still sort of introduce them to the mysterious life of high school.

She should be able to come up with a brainstorm list of ideas along these lines of how she is going to stay connected with her same-age friends and approach them that way, saying, "Make sure your parents get you an activity ticket because I want you guys to come with me to the high school games and plays and music concerts. I don't know who I will go with otherwise."

I would have zero expectation of an eleven year old being able to relate to any high school kids. Quite honestly she is simply at a different emotional level than they are, again no matter how bright she is -- and I have no doubt she is since you and the school evidently felt that she was beyond the offerings of the talented and gifted programs at the school and they lacked the imagination to come up with another way to challenge her besides skipping multiple grades.

Best of luck. What an adventure.

Answer 2

wow

Answer 3

Nice Lie!

Answer 4

I see that Stormy S. is another one that doesn't conprehend that everyone thinks she is a smart@ss and that no one like to be spoken to like they are "beneath" you! And as far as your daughter...if she is that good...great for her! But I'm sure when her friends see that she is hanging with them still, they'll get the point! Even if she tries to reassure them now, I doubt they are going to believe it! They'll have to see it for themselves!

Answer 5

I think she should be holding onto the friends she has now because high school is so much different than elementry school. Just because she may be smart , she should not act like she is better than kids her own age. She will have so much trouble in fitting in with the kids in high school because she is 11 years old.

Not too many 14, 15, 16, 17 year old teens want to talk with an 11 year old.

Does she want to skip grades? Just because someone has a high IQ does not mean they have to speed up anything. Why does she not just stay in the grade she should be in?

Answer 6

Just have her remind her friends that they'll always be friends and she promises to keep in touch. yeah, she'll have some new friends, but she'll still be friends with them

Answer 7

Wow! That's one smart kid you have!

Take your daughter and her 11 year old friends to the movies, or out on a little shopping trip just for them to remember. Make sure your daughter keeps in touch with them by phone, email, i-mail, all of that. And your daughter's friends should be sad she's leaving, but be happy for her. She's very mature and smart, and she'll probably do fantastic in high school.

Your daughter as I see, is incredibly mature, I bet most parents wish their 11 year old was that mature and smart because most of them are kinda going through the "Silly" stage. And keep her friends invited over to birthday parties, and all of that so they still stay in touch.

Good Luck! And your daughter is reading that? Goodness gracious, I know some ADULTS who couldn't that!

Answer 8

Tell her she is only allowed to hang with kids her own age. High School may be too much for this girl. In High School there are huge projects and lots and lots of work.  Anyway only allow her to play with kids her own age and no kids from High School.

Answer 9

GOOD FOR YOUR DAUGHTER! thats great! theres nothing wrong with hanging out with older or younger kids. she should sit her friends down and tell her that just because shes in high school that wont mean she doesnt love them. they are her "BFFs" and no one can ruin that but shes always going to make new friends.

Answer 10

Just like when you move to another house and end up in another school district.  going to another school does not make it where you can not be friends.

rd

Answer 11

Honestly, the best way to maintain the friendships is set up "play dates"

Pershaps she and her friends can maintain a calendar or assignment book, and pick out days that she will call friend 1, or friend 2 or whatever.  THis is like a contract they will make with each other prior to her starting school with new friends.

The other thing is set up one or two sleep overs a month and weekend activities, again, get them in writing on a calendar (not penciled in where it can be erased!!  this gives the girls something to talk about and plan as well as look forward to when they miss each other at school.

Answer 12

Hi, first of all congrats on such a smart child! :) You must be very proud and you should be.

On your issue here, I would suggest to your daughter that you help her buy something special for her friends to show that they are her true friends. Maybe matching charm bracelettes or those necklaces that are a heart and it says "best friends" and each gets half. She could write her friends a friend poem showing her feelings toward them as friends she doesn't want to lose. basically anything that will reasure them that she is their friend til the end and will be there for them as friends.

good luck