How does my husband adopt my child?

Question

its not his child but he has been there and her father figure since she was one years old. the birth father does not see her. i don't want any advice stating not to do this. i just want to know how to do it. i am in ny by the way. thanks.

Answer 1

My husband adopted my son from a previous relationship.  We did this 20 yrs ago and in the state of Illinois.  We went through a lawyer and the lawyer set up what is called a guardian ad litem to represent my son's interests in the matter.  The guardian, in our case really didn't do much, just made sure all was square for my son.

At first we used the method where we advertise in a public paper "will the father of ____ contact our office" or something like that.  The reason why I went that route was because I was scared silly because of the physical abuse the birth father had put me through.  When it actually reached the court date, the judge wanted things sewn up tight so he insisted that we actually contact the father.  So, back to the drawing board.  Our lawyer contacted him and he promised to come down and sign papers.  The birth father made this promise twice and never followed through, so then the judge allowed it to go through without a signature.

At the time (because we were newly weds) it was a huge financial endeavor for us, but was worth every penny. We were able to scrape up the money and really it showed me how much my husband wanted to be my son's father in every sense.  We have 4 kids in all and they are nearly raised.  In our case the family blended well and my son really respects my husband.

Edit:

I think we got the referral for the lawyer through my husband's work.  They had a legal resource thing they offered to employees.

Edit:

Generally, I think it is ABSOLUTELY best to have the birth father sign over rights.  That way it is by his choice rather than trickery.  However, the mother knows what kind of response she got from the birth f. during their relationship and if she feels for her and the childs saftey it is best to try other routes, that should be honored.  In my case I knew very well what kind of man the b. f. was, since he tried to beat the baby out of me while I was pg.  His game with setting up times with my lawyer was to cost me money via the lawyers hourly rate.  I know this because his father played the same game.

Answer 2

hello i am going through the same process with my two kis... I have contacted a lawyer and was told a few thing... What state do you live in... I live in ca, and if the birth father has not contacted or supported the child in over a year he has already forfited his right... also if he is not on the birth certificate is another.... call some lawyers and ask some questions

Answer 3

the real father has to sign over all his parental rights first.

Answer 4

The real father has to sign over his rights first then your husband can go through the normal procedures for adoption. Youll have to contact lawer though

Answer 5

The real father would definitely have to sign over rights first, and then you would have to get a lawyer to get all the adoption papers filled out.

Answer 6

I live in Michigan and my hubby adopted 2 of my kids from previous relationships.  For my son, his father willingly signed the papers to terminate his rights so all we had to do was set a hearing date with the court.  For my daughter, her father would not sign the papers, so we had to get a lawyer to prove it was in my daughter's best interest to be adopted and go through a trial to have his rights terminated.  It was much easier the first time around when the father willingly gave up his rights - very inexpensive and a fairly quick process, but the second time, when we needed a lawyer, it was very expensive and took a long time but it was well worth it.  Good luck!

Answer 7

Get in touch with a lawyer

Answer 8

What does it matter?  There is a difference between being someones father, and being someones daddy.  It's great that your child has a Daddy and they will remember it for the rest of their life.