How does my toddler feel when his dad does not see him on an anticipated day?

Question

My son is two months shy of turning 2-yrs. He knows his daily and weekly routine. Every Tu, he spends the day with his dad. He has had this one day of the week for at least six months where he could expect to spend time with his dad. This past week, however, my son's dad returned my phone calls inquiring of his where-abouts, to tell me he was too tired to see his son. I scrambled to find a baby-sitter to watch my son while I was at work. After work, I noticed my son was more clingy to me. At bedtime, he would not let me tuck him into his own bed. So, I brought him into my bed where he held me super tight and would not let go of me. He looked up and outside my bedroom window once to say: "where's daddy." I hugged him closer and told him: "daddy loves you" "Mommy's here" "Mommy and daddy both love you." Inside, I wanted to scream. Has a 22-mth toddler developed an emotional understanding of the situation? Help me understand what's going through my son's head.

Answer 1

He's probably alittle Disappointed & uncertain about not seeing his Dad- AND, I'm sure He's picking up some negative "vibrations" from YOU- about the Situation... All You can do, is comfort Him, & try not to "let on" how unhappy You are about the matter... Something like this was probably going to happen sooner or later- anyway... You just gotta Deal with it the BEST You can... -for your Son's sake.

Answer 2

Of course he has some sort of understanding.  It's an anticipated part of his routine that he looks forward to, and what little boy doesn't want to spend time with his dad?  He may not understand the why but he definitely understands that he missed seeing his dad.   I think you handled the situation extremely well and just reassure him that he will get to see his dad next week.  Just keep on top of his dad and make sure this does not become habit or he will be one devastated little guy!

Answer 3

Poor little guy. Yes, kids know when something is amiss and when their schedule is off it can throw them off. You need to make sure that you relay to your Ex what happened with your son so he can make sure it doesn't happen again. If he truly cares about his child he will make the effort to see him no matter how tired he is. I work 4 jobs (Luckily I get to take my son with me to most of them...housecleaning jobs) but I still make time for my son and I am almost totally exhausted. Children come first and your Ex needs to realize that he hurt his child.

Answer 4

It is sad isn't it, my now exhusband did that repeatedly to our oldest son and even his two children he had with someone else.  He would tell them he was coming on such and such day and what they would be doing then not show up and usually wouldn't even call leaving me to have to explain.  I know my son actually developed signs of depression from it and started to question if his father loved him or not.  That was when he was about 2 years old, now at almost 6 years old his father has continued to do it and he now doesn't want his dad around so it is rough.  Hopefully it won't be something his dad does a lot because he will begin to question his dads love for him and might hit a depression stage and become angry at his dad and take it out on you.