How does not wanting to be a SAHM equal Misoginy?

Question

I've seen a few comments saying that Feminists attacking a SAHM is Misoginy.

I have yet to see a Feminist attack a SAHM.

And how does not wanting to be one correlate with Misoginy in your mind?

Answer 1

The only time I've seen a SAHM being attacked here is when she's attacking someone else for working. I frequently say that I would hate to be a SAHM, but that doesn't mean I hate the women who love it.

Answer 2

That was done quite frequently in years past, you do not see it as much today.

Answer 3

Not wanting to be a SAHM is fine.  Degrading others that do is not.

Answer 4

Not wanting to be a SAHM is a personal choice.

Disapproving of or criticising those who would prefer to be a SAHM is unfair, judgmental and prejudiced. And don't deny that some (not all, SOME) feminists disapprove of other women's choice to stay at home and look after their children.

Answer 5

I've made many times here comments to the effect that I would find being a SAHM unsatisfying and it would bore me to tears. Some people here seem to think such comments are an attack on SAHMs. They're not - I'm just being honest. Sorry but I'm not going to lie and say that I think being a SAHM is the best thing since sliced bread. If I thought that I'd be at home cleaning up baby poo right now.

Answer 6

The sahms were told that there were worthless and shamed for doing what they do, they were completely devalued during the 70s. That's my understanding of it anyway. You can see that sentiment on here in the way some of the sahms are treated.

"I've seen a few comments saying that Feminists attacking a SAHM is Misoginy."

How is it not misoginy?

"And how does not wanting to be one correlate with Misoginy in your mind?"

If that was directed at me you must have picked me up wrong,

it makes no sense to me. How could a persons choice not to become a sahm be misoginy? That makes no sense.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Feminin...

"Conservative women aren’t real women according to the liberal feminist establishment’s definition. Remember when Gloria Steinem called Texas Republican Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison a “female impersonator?” Or when curdled NOW leader Patricia Ireland instructed Democrats to vote only for “authentic” female political candidates? Or when Al Gore’s fashion consultant Naomi Wolf described the foreign-policy analysis of Jeane Kirkpatrick as being “uninflected by the experiences of the female body?”

The internet is just full of it yet none of you have heard of feminists attacking sahms?

Its very difficult to find honesty around here.

Answer 7

I have never attacked SAHM's.  I have however gotten defencive because some SAHM suggests that, "If I loved my family I'd stay home and take care of them." Or suggests that I should somehow be the object of her pity because I work and she chooses not to.

Whatever....I'll say it again and again and again.  Can we please stop judging each other for our personal choices????

Answer 8

If you have yet to see a feminist attack a stay-at-home mother, then  I suggest you read 'The Feminine Mystique' by Betty Friedan, which is a prolonged and savage attack on stay-at-home mothers.

In this book ms Friedan laid most of the troubles of society squarely at the feet of stay-at-home mothers.  According to her, we were responsible for divorce, homosexuality, juvenile delinguency and abused children.  Not to mention we had an excessive interest in s*x.

Furthermore, she described us as 'zombies' and made it clear that she did not consider being a mother a worthwhile occupation at all.  She argued that housework was so easy it could be done in an hour or so, and therefore women at home had too much time on their hands and therefore wrought all kinds of evil.  We all ought to be out at work (or rather, pursuing careers, just plain 'work' wasn't good enough in her view).

This attitude, I believe, rubbed off on her successors.  The truth is, that hardly anybody any more believes that staying at home with your children is a valid occupation for anyone.  You're supposed to shove the kids into daycare and go off and have a 'career' (never, under any circustances, just a job).  Feminists are always going on about how bored they would be staying at home, like Ms Friedan they evidently believe that an inability to keep themselves amused at home is a sign of intelligence.  It isn't.

So don't talk about feminists not attacking stay-at-home mothers, because that is a load of old cobblers. The whole point of modern feminism is to get mothers out of their homes and into the workplace.  This is supposed to be better for everyone.

The curious thing is, that all the ills that Ms Friedan blamed on stay-at-home wives have not gone away since married women have all rushed off to work, in fact they have continued to flourish and if anything got worse.  I cannot help feeling that the dear lady might have made a TINY error of judgement in blaming all these ills on us and us alone.  I feel somehow that other factors must be involved somewhere.

Answer 9

Not wanting to be a SAHM does not = misogyny.

Not wanting to be a woman with a career does not = misogyny.

Either way you look at it, neither choice equals a hatred of women.  The choices themselves don't equal hatred, but the ways that women can interact with each other, and the words women toss back and forth to each other because of ignorance, misunderstandings or stereotypes can lead to hatred.

Just because I choose to go into work every day doesn't mean I hate women who stay home and look after their children. If staying at home and caring for babies and ensuring that the household is immaculate paid the bills, I might be more apt to stay at home. If I felt that the person I was with made enough money to sustain our household and the costs that come along with it, I might be more apt to stay at home.

There are some women who post here that absolutely LOVE staying at home. They find value in it. They love being with their children every step of the way through development and they adore welcoming their husband home from work every day with a hot meal. I can absolutely appreciate that.

I'm not married. I don't have kids. Right now, I see a value in going in to work every day. I love dealing with clients and managers. I absolutely love being able to be self sufficient with bills and being able to keep my bank accounts "secret" and keep my spending and saving as my business. It would kill me to have to ask for an "allowance" which is what my boyfriend seems to think is going to happen when we get married. ;)

I don't hate anyone who stays at home. I hate snide remarks. I hate remarks like, "YOU'RE LETTING SOMEONE ELSE RAISE YOUR KIDS! YOU FAILED AS A MOTHER!" or, "I would hate to go into work every day. It seems so utterly pointless and life wasting". Comments like these have been made by SAHM's who have posted in this very question stating that they have been attacked. If these women don't want women who work to call them"lazy" or "useless", it would be in everyone's best interest to just live and let live.

I work. They don't. Who cares?

Answer 10

"not wanting to be a SAHM equal Misoginy" -

As far as I have noticed here, nobody here equates wanting to be a career woman to Misogyny.

"And how does not wanting to be one correlate with Misoginy in your mind" - It doesnt correlate to Misogyny in my mind either. I lost you on that one.

"I have yet to see a Feminist attack a SAHM." - The sneer and sarcasm that the Working female femminists on this site use while talking about SAHM's isnt unnoticed.

Check this question too, it was asked earlier : http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

Answer 11

I haven't seen it either, and do not think it means one is a misogynist if they do attack SAHM.  I do however feel attacking people, particularly women, for their own life choices goes against basic feminist principals.

Answer 12

I've not seen one feminist personally attack a SAHM.  But I, having been a Sahm for more than 10 years and just recently returned to work, have been attacked by a Sahm for my choice to work part-time(as Rio has said).

I'm not holding a grudge at all, but the point is, women should stop this nonsense of trying to be the perfect and desirable wife, woman and mother just to please men and score points(who's better now BS), when really we should support each other with our choices no matter what they be.

Answer 13

I've actually seen more men on this forum attacking SAHMs than I have women.

Answer 14

We certainly don't want to hurt the working moms.

I just wanted them to know that if you have an option to stay home then it can be very fulfilling (not like the media paints the pic of barefoot and preg.).

You can do tons of cool stuff with no bosses and no timelines!