How does one find a portal to an alternate dimension?

Question

I've been given all kinds of advice involving turnips, ritual sacrifice of small children and animals, thread magics, and the like, but nothing seems to be working and I'm determined to retrieve my socks back from those tat-snatchers. I've got all kinds of materials and sources and am willing to travel. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Lol try searching places that look perfectly normal but smell like socks?

Answer 2

Apply for....and get accepted in a Washington DC bureau of almost any type.

Once you are officially a Washington Bureaucrat you will begin to see everything completely different than you did before.  You will start to live in a reality that is completely unique where all your old views will be turned upside down and you will find that you are almost magically elevated to a status that is above the known law.

Look around carefully once you are there.  For, in this place there are a great deal of things floating around that were lost by hard working, honest, common citizens !!