Question:

How does one handle a hostile mother-in-law?

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Alright, so my mother-in-law (who doesn't know she is my mother-in-law yet) is on a quest to destroy my relationship. I met this woman 1 time, we talked very little, got into an argument about my dog whom she tried to give away because she claimed I didn't love it and was abusing it. She eavesdropped on every call I made, and then asked my now husband then boyfriend out to talk with the old 'we need to talk, alone.' line. Like I didn't know about what they were going to talk about, then when they came home, he told me she had been listening to my calls, thought I was married, had a kid (which I did and he already knew about), and was mooching off him.

Basically in a nutshell, I was training to be a truck driver, with a trainer. We dated a few times before i left with the trainer, I had an issue with the trainer, and decided to get a new trainer. Apparently the week without me bothered my bf/hubby and he didn't like the idea of a girl he was dating out with strange men in a tiny truck. I was setup to stay at the company hotel, he begged me to just stay at his house until a new trainer was found. So I agreed, reluctantly. I offered him money for letting me chill there he refused it.

We got married in Sept. last year, he never told his mom because she was so against him even seeing me. He even stopped talking to her, until last mothers day when I sent her flowers with his new cell because I didn't think it was right he was avoiding her because of me. (He said it was okay to do it)

Now I really wish I hadn't. The woman is nasty to me, though we never talk. And I mean this literally we don't talk if I talk to her she will ignore me completely. She calls 3+ times a day and everytime its to say something rude about me almost. She is convinced I am stealing from her son, I am creating phony corporations to embezzle money, I am opening accounts in his name, I am going to get us thrown in jail, this is the bs I have to deal with on a daily basis. From a woman I have never really met. None of it is true. It borders on libel/slander I have half a mind to sue.

NOW though she has started telling his other family members, none of whom I have met, that I am stealing from him and doing this bs she has come up with. His dad told him he didn't want me to come to the big family b-day party this year because of what she is telling him even though I never met the man?! How do I handle this???

When he told her to stop calling so much she freaked out and said well I'll call more now, and she DOES! 5+ times a day, we don't answer the phone, she will leave nasty messages!??

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3 ANSWERS


  1. Change the cell phone number and never make contact with her again.  


  2. tell her the truth. when she learns you are married, she will stop her calling so much. good luck

  3. It's really up to your husband.

    Talk to him and find out whether he wants to continue contact.  Whatever he chooses...make sure you support him.  

    If you choose to break ties with her, it will be hard on him.

    If he wants to stay in contact, you two need to decide on boundaries for your families.  He then needs to explain these boundaries to both of his parents.  He also needs to tell them that you two are married, they will have to understand that you come first or he won't be in contact with them anymore.  

    Good luck!

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