How does one handle an angry live in relative?

Question

If some one you live with is constantly angry how in the heck does one deal with that?Their on herbs for moodiness,and have ADD.How does one deal with the constant rage and mood swings?I'm constantly stressed out because of it.We fight cause I dont want them taking it out on me.

Any advise?

Answer 1

I once lived with someone who was angry allll the time. Actually two people. With one, I would just leave so I didn't have to be around her. And the second, I would fight back. I know that sounds bad but one person can only take so much negativity. It gets old fast. Confront the person and see whats really going on. If something is bothering them, try to fix it or try to help them through it. If its deeper than that, say depression, try to offer them to go see a counselor and say you support them and be there. I dont know. Its tough Im sorry  

Answer 2

Either they go or you go.  

Answer 3

http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Ange...

This book is great!  It worked for me.

Answer 4

There are so many variables with situations like this but I think the key is to be consistant and execute consequences with your reactions.  Communicate:

1. how the behavior makes you feel

2. what your reaction to the behavior is

3. what your reaction to the behavior will be; consequences

4. it's not the person your reacting to, but the behavior (make sure to always separate the two)

and know that you can never control anyone else other than yourself so you can keep your focus on your own behavior which is a little less anxiety producing!

EXAMPLE:  When you're hostile with me it makes me very uncomfortable and I don't want to be around you, it scares me.  There's obviously something that's causing all of this anger and hostility and I know it doesn't make you feel good and it hurts me to watch you go through whatever it is that your going through.  I want to help but I can't help at my own expense.  I don't feel I'm being treated with respect and that hurts my feelings because I've really tried to respect your feelings.  If I continue to feel like I'm walking on egg shells around you then I'll choose not to be around you and I will reduce our conversations because it's too stressful for me to put up with this and it's not fair to me.  I would like to have a better relationship with you but I can't do that by myself, it's got to be a two way street and if you don't want that, I will accept that.  If your struggling with something, I'd like to be there for you by listening to what it is that's bothering you and focusing on a possible solution rather than focusing on the problems, if that's what you'd like.  I love you but I don't like your behavior sometimes and it scares me so things have to change or I will have to distance myself and my life from yours, it's your choice.

Answer 5

You tell them they will get counseling or find a new place to live.The problem is NOT a "chemical" imbalance.It is CHOICE.They CHOOSE to have this attitude.Itis THEIR way of thinking and until it changes, the way they feel will not change,neither will their behavior, BUT the behavior can change first.Would they behave like this if a cop were present?If not then that is PROOF they can control their behavior.

Answer 6

Depends on who owns the house or is on the lease.

If it is them, then you need to get gone... find a roommate arrangement or something else, but just bail.

If it is you, then you need to tell them to make arrangements to live elsewhere, then cut off the cable TV, internet access, put a lock box on the thermostat and quit buying groceries.

Other than that, about all you can do is play "keep away" by going into your room and locking yourself in. Do not engage them and don't wait on them.

It takes 2 people to fight... if you refuse to be roped into their stuff, then he won't have anyone to play with. Treat them like a little kid: "Hey if you are going to be that way, then I don't have to talk to you at all!" Make it clear that if they cannot be civil, you can't be bothered with them.

Answer 7

You have to avoid them as much as you can. I know this isn't the same thing, but my aunt stayed with us for 10 days and by the 4th day I thought I was going to kill her for how she was acting. She was a guest in our home and yet she was condescending and rude towards me and my mother at times (mostly my mother). The only thing I could do from not popping off at her was leaving and hanging out at my friend's house. If you can't avoid them entirely maybe only dedicate spending a set amount of time with them so that they don't feel ostracized but you two still have your space.

Answer 8

Figure a way to move away. Herbs do not help

Answer 9

One of the important lessons we learn in life is that we cannot control other people

One of the wonderful lessons we learn in life is that we can control ourselves

you cannot do anything about them

however you can control how you react

do not let them push your buttons

do not let them control your emotions

we tend to get into patterns of behavior so they enjoy making you react

what you need to do is react totay diffrent than they expct

Kill them with kindness

Misery loves company

this is an unhappy person who wants to make you unhappy

be glad you are not as sad a lump of flesh that they are and laugh when they yell it will drive them crazy and you will have fun messing with there head

I dove my mother crazy till finaly she left me alone