How does one stop feeling guilty?

Question

Often if I don't wanna do something and I state that I don't wanna do it, or I am too busy to do it and say I'm busy, I feel guilty. I am rather caring on the whole and I don't wanna let people down, even if I'm busy, unwell or reluctant. How can I begin to overcome this?

Answer 1

JUST HELP OTHER..............

Answer 2

The 1st step is to not give other people credit for your feelings or emotions.

You and you alone are responsible for both of them because they are the only two things in this world you can honestly call your own.

You are allowing people to make you feel guilty, or whatever they want you to feel.

The worst that can happen is they can plant a seed...like a negative thought for example,

you are the one that choses to nourish and water it. Make a conscience choice to let that negative thought wither away and die.

Answer 3

Quite vague details.

I have learnt to overcome this recently, and I did it by putting myself first. I do what I want to do, not what I expect someone else wants.

Having spent a lifetime trying to please other people (especially women) I now take a more, if you like, selfish approach - and hey it works!!!!

Often, low self-esteem excacerbates this sort of problem. It did for me, as I had such low self worht I was always trying to please others, and feeling guilty if I could not help 100% of the time.

Answer 4

Why would you?It just shows you're a decent person who takes other people's feelings into consideration.

Answer 5

it is one of the hardest lessons - learning how to say no. you need to accept that you can only do so much and that it is up to you to prioritise, noone else can do that for you. once you learn to accept that, you dont feel so guilty for not being superhuman

Answer 6

Just remember that sometimes you have to put yourself first! Theres nothing wrong with it as from the sounds of things yuo do try your best.

Theres nothing wrong with doing things for YOU sometimes!

Now go get em tiger!

fS :o)

Answer 7

only you have the power to overcome this obstacle you have to become strong willed and learn to just say NO

Answer 8

Guilt is in your mind and I find it easy to ignore.

Answer 9

You should apply effective time management and prioritise your issues. If there is time left after then you can help, otherwise just let it be. No worries about that. People should understand that you have commitments that you have to attend to. There is nothing to be guillty of not being able to help. Stop putting too much stress on yourself.

Answer 10

i think you better seek for your own happines because most people dont give a ((((( to what we feel

Answer 11

For some reason you feel like it is up to you to ensure their happiness, but it isn't. If you are being honest with them, that's the best they could hope for and you're doing ok!

Answer 12

Guilt is regret teamed with a bit of self beating.

There's nothing wrong with thinking, 'Oh, I wish I could have helped'. But if you were genuinely unable then you should accept that. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to others. Accept your decision, even if you made the wrong decision you did what you felt was right at the time and nobody can expect more of you than that.

If you were just making excuses, then that's a bit more complicated. On the one hand there's nothing wrong with wanting some 'me time'. We all need time to ourselves to relax.

If you genuinely thought that you should have gone along, then resolve next time to be more honest with yourself about what you were thinking, then make the decision based on that. Don't beet yourself up there's absolutely no point in it, nobody gains from that. Regret, resolve, determine to do right, rejoice that you did something about it. Done. Get on and be happy. You're a good person.  

Answer 13

Gee, I feel guilty not giving you my best answer. Actually, I do not have a best answer, but felt compelled to try and give you a little something.

Oh! really! I have not a clue *)