How does this advert sound?

Question

Rocky is a 15.1hh TB, 12 years old. Due to injury he is semi retired so cannot jump or do fast work. He would be perfect for a beginner or someone happy to just potter around the large indoor or outdoor arenas at the yard where he is stabled (Sedgefield, near the racecourse). No yard duties need be done (unless you want to) and no ground work (turning out etc.) is needed either. He is a perfect gent under saddle but was mistreated as a youngster so can be a bit challenging on the ground with strangers (hence no groundwork need be done). My mum has learnt to ride on him, she was terrified at first but he has given her so much confidence and is she now aiming for her 1st dressage test. He has worked in a riding school so is used to riders of all abilities, especially beginners. I worked at a riding school for several years and can offer 1 free lesson per week for the loaner if wanted. No hacking is available due to location.

Answer 1

sounds good

Answer 2

sounds good, especially for the lesson, as i used to pay £25 just for a lesson

Answer 3

You're writing the ad, right?

It sounds pretty good - "potter" should be "putter", if US and UK vernacular are similar anyway.  I assume this is for a lease?  Personally I like to have a lot of info, but not everyone likes that.  You could condense it:

ex.

"My mum has learnt to ride on him, she was terrified at first but he has given her so much confidence and is she now aiming for her 1st dressage test. "

could be

"Experience in teaching beginners how to ride" or similar.

Otherwise looks good spelling- and grammar-wise.  Good luck!

Answer 4

Yes, I think that sounds very good, especially as you are offering a free lesson.

You should easily find a taker.

It is a shame that I am not closer to you, because he would be absolutely perfect for my partner who is learning to ride at the moment and paying about £50 per week for lessons alone.

Answer 5

£25 per week including a lesson sounds like a great deal. I'm sure there are quite a few older riders who will be delighted to take you up on that offer.

Personally I'd be wary of accepting teenagers simply because they will want to push the boundaries and you will find that you reach the point where your horse (due to his past injury) is not up to their requirements and then you will be looking for a new loanee.

But yes, I see no problem with it.  Using the word "putter" in the good ole UK would probably have people going "huh, wassat ?" (Lol).

Answer 6

kinda difficult without knowing why you are looking at this horse.