How does this do in nearing the end of a tale?

Question

Trial of Sight

Part Sixteen

*

Selene rises in a transient bliss

The night brings an enemies call

The hounds of h**l roaming,

searching for their blinded quarry

*

“Open your eyes and do not flinch”

Nanny Witch instructs Cara

“This may help in this nights clash”

Cool liquid invades the eye

then the other

“It will not bring back your sight

but it will allow you to see without it”

No warning comes howls of devil wolves

breaking the peace of caring house

Cara grips her silver knife

rising with goddess Selene

Now with sight without sight

ready to kill the Moon Shifters

-So the end is near but it is going to be hard for me to do this with a blind protagonist… If anyone here has faith in my abilities then I know I can do it…

Blessed Be in the Light of the Moon, Siren

Answer 1

And it seems I was right, good! That's what is needed, the wind-up for the denouement. It is now that I first really consider the silver knife. There is an old English ballad named "Silver Dagger." [Joan Baez sang it on her first album, around 1960.] Did this possibly influence you? I thought you were much younger. I shall say no more. I don't want to reveal anything. Anyway, it's time now to slay the demons.

Answer 2

Again, I can make no bad remarks about your content...I've followed the series so far, and I love it dearly.

Grammatically:

Line 2: since it is the call belonging to an enemy, you need an apostrophe. Therefore, "The night brings an enemy's call."

Line 7: again, you need an apostrophe. It should read "This may help in this night's clash."

That's all the corrections I have for you. ^^ They aren't even significant...but if you're striving for perfection, those would help to get you there.

I have no doubt in your abilities to finish the series admirably, even with a blind protagonist. Regardless of what you write, or how the plot turns out, I will always have faith in you.

Thank you for another gift...and to think that it's not even my birthday...what a lucky person I am.

Answer 3

The first four lines are purely beautiful poetry.  This part of the story makes clear the meaning of the title and lays the groundwork for the rest..."Now with sight without sight   ready to kill the Moon Shifters".  I don't know how I missed this before, but I am happy to have my attention called to it.  It's an integral and illuminating part of the whole.  I love this.  Thank you.

Answer 4

Congratulations on the poetic usage of one of my favorite goddess' Selene, the greek goddess of the moon, who fell in love with the sleeper Endymion, and I should get a life outside of mythology, yes, I know. See, I am with you, they stripped my TC status. But that is all right, it is the price of absence.

Answer 5

The whole Little Red Riding Hood twist was overall unexpected. I had no idea what it was supposed to be about in part one and two. I thought it was about some girl bandit. You're right, this is definitely much different than mine... It is suspenseful, action-packed, and leaves me gripping my chair at the end of every poem. Sorry it took me so long to respond...