How does this poem sound? i made it from random words?

Question

-Bliss-

the telescope saw its descending

while i was sitting by the lake

and to adore what i would make

when i heard the forsaken sign

and i realised that broken paths intertwine

by your demise

by arms from the skies

and they clutched the vital eye.

slowly my arm turned to paper

and i was one of the everlasting.

the moon falls

beyond the walls

& i witnessed the sunset of the stars.

:I

i think i'll add more stuff to it later

Answer 1

im lost, im sorry.....

Answer 2

Well I love it. Very descriptive. I like the part my arm turned to paper...

Good job!

Answer 3

Wow that's a great start for a nice descriptive poem.With your beautiful words your great mind your stories and poems are so cool and refreshing as when you right i feel as i am on the back watching' and listening to where your imagination brings me...

Answer 4

lolzz. The Mars Volta would be proud...

but they're better at it. if you're going to go for total nonsense you might as well make it sound cooler with made up words or common expressions used cleverly without actually saying anything

Answer 5

It does sound rather random, and it's a bit hard to follow. I would say this is a good start, though, if you were to refine the poem from here.