How early is too early to get married?

Question

My boyfriend and I have an amazing relationship....we've been together for 8 months and I've never been happier. I know everyone says "this one is different" but we both KNOW this IS different. He's trying to become a paid firefighter which is very hard to do and he's always said and still says the day he gets hired is the day he'd ask me to marry him...well he could be hired in about 4 months making it a year. I'm 22 and he's 25. Is this too young and too early? I love him so much I just can't wait to be married, we don't care about a big fancy wedding, we just want each other. What do you think?

Answer 1

Here's my thing: I say if you're over 21, then fine, but I still think it's too young.

I answered a similar question to this one earlier today, and I said that there's no pressure these days to rush into marriage like there was before. There's also not as much stigma attached to couples who live together before marriage, either. In today's society, couple's have every reason to wait and give their relationship a few years before rushing into marriage.

however, like you said, you're 21, and at least your future husband would wait until he had a paid job until he proposed. So really, there's nothing technically wrong here, but why rush?

My now fiance and I have been together almost four years, and we just got engaged. We knew a year into our relationship that we were going to get married (I was 21 at that point), but both knew we needed to wait because we had the option to. We lived together for three years and are now so happy we waited because we feel completely secure about ourselves financially and can afford a life together. Not to mention it just makes your wedding day that much more special.

Answer 2

If it feels right to you, do it. There's no objective measure of what's "too early" - it depends entirely on the individuals' assessment of the situation. Everyone has a different time line. My parents went out for the first time in April, got married in June, and been married for 35 years.  

Answer 3

Since you are asking, I will say that yes, it's too soon and you are too young.

When the time is right, you won't have to ask.

Answer 4

IT IS NOT TOO EARLY TO GET MARRIED. you are so of age. im 23 and so is my boyfriend. we are getting married either next year or the year after that. We arent going to have a big fancy wedding either cause i just want to be married to him ALREADY! Congrats and GOD BLESS!!!

Answer 5

If you love him and want to be with him for the rest or your life, does it really matter how long you wait? In your 20's you are still developing and trying to figure out priorities and career objectives etc. You probably have not bought a home yet or made any major plans outside of getting married. If you don't already have a joint account open one up. This will give you a better picture of how the other deals with financing, responsibility etc. That is very important. If you don't live together, then try that first. Living with someone will either bring you closer to them or push you futher away. Marriage is final in the sense that if one person thinks (after they are married) that they rushed into it - a resentment can grow with that person regarding the loss of freedom. If you are both mature and understand this then you are ready, but again what's the rush? Remember that the average marriage ends in divorce - not trying to be all doom and gloom here but you have to be rational when you think of marriage and not be all 'stars in the eyes' - Hope it works out for you! Save me some cake

Answer 6

My parents got married after knowing each other 6 months (celebrating 24th anniversary in sept), my grandparents got married after 2 months. If you know it's right and you are willing to work at making your marriage work, go for it! good luck!

Answer 7

If your relationship is strong then you are not too young and it is not too soon. However, if there are any "red flags" regardless of how small they may be, waiting would be better because a divorce can sometimes cost more than the wedding.

Answer 8

It doesn't matter what I think, it only matters what you think. If you two know in your hearts that this is what you want, then you should absolutely go for it.

Answer 9

tomorrow

Answer 10

Keep dating for at least a year and a half to two years, then get engaged. If it's all so amazing and wonderful, it will stand the test of time of dating, getting to know one another's families, and being SURE.

Answer 11

Its such a subjective question.  My little sister got married at 21 and I wish she would have waited.  I just got married at 31 and I look back at my 20s and realize I would have made such a bad choice in who to marry back then.

BUT, I have friends who got married at your age and have done wonderfully.

I'd say the fact that you have the maturity to ask the question and that you aren't just caught up in the fairy-tale wedding nonsense, means that you're probably old enough.

I'd recommend you go through premarital counseling to truly make sure you're on the same page and want the same things out of marriage, but otherwise, go for it!

Answer 12

There is no restrictions on age except that you are both at least 18 (which you are!).  It all depends on how mature you both are....what you have experienced in life.....and if you will feel like you are "missing out" if you marry at a young age.  

Both my husband and I were 21 when we got married and we have been married almost 31 years!  I had been on my own (renting an apartment, paying bills, working full-time) since I was 19, so I felt ready.  Everyone I know was married young (we live in a small rural community), but we are all happy!  My daughter was married at 20 (almost 9 years now) and my son was married at 25.  

Perhaps we are the exceptions to the rules.  But, if you feel ready to be married....then get married!  Good luck.

Answer 13

Not too early. :) Seems like a good age to me.