How easy is it for my husband to adopt my son?

Question

I have been with my husband since my son was 3 he is now 12 he thinks my husband is his dad as his real dad has never seen him. My husband wants to adopt my son but i don't know how easy it is or how long it takes also i don't know how to get in contact with his real dad incase i need to. can anyone help?

Answer 1

It depends on whether the child's natural father and grandparents agree to it. My husband adopted my 5 children in 2000 and the fee then was £600 for all 5 children, so that works out to £125, its probably gone up considerably since them. That is just the court fee, if you hire a solicitor you can run into thousands but you can do the adoption work without a solicitor (DIY). When the application is received by court, they will inform all interested parties (your ex and his parents) IF THEY CAN BE TRACED, they will then request that social services write up a report on the prospect of adoption for the court.

It is up to social services to trace all interested parties to get their point of view on the adoption (you have to tell them as much as you know) and if they agree it can go ahead, because your ex has had little to do with your son unless he has a fantastic excuse for not having anything to do with him it is unlikely his opinion will matter much. As your son is 12 he will be asked his views on the matter, so you will have to tell your son - but if you have him on your side, it will make the adoption much easier.

Our adoption case did take a few years to get through court because there were complications but most normal step parent adoptions will take less than a year.

You could, if you do not want it to be too complex, make sure you have your son completely on side and make sure that he doesn't want anything to do with his father. If it turns out during the adoption that he is not sure about it or is interested in his birth father, it could mean that all you do is find his father for him and establish contact instead of getting what you both want.

Something you have to be aware of is that when your husband adopts your son, that you actually are giving him up for adoption as well. You have to adopt your own son back - its strange but both birth parents have to sign children up for adoption , if they are available and you will be your sons birth and adoptive mother!

It is time consuming and can be quite stressful but I think it was well worth it!

There are other options available including a residence order with parental responsibility which would grant your husband virtually the same rights as a parent, without taking away birth parents rights.

Answer 2

Aside from the fact that the natural father should hav been paying child support for the last 12 years ...

You need to see a solicitor. Pick one out of the Yellow Pages  that specialises in Family Law. Most practices will give you an initial half hour appointment for free. You could also do some research on-line, and check your position for legal aid.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Adop...

Answer 3

You need to get in toush with your local social services and they will put you through to the adoption section and they make an app to see you and your hubby and have a chat and it goes from there, it took my hubby just under a year to adopt my son, like you he never seen his 'bio dad' but he still had to be contacted and asked, good luck and it is so worth going through xx

Answer 4

depending on the state you will/will not  need the father of child to sign off since he sounds like he abandoned the child.

Go to the courts and file for a simple stepparent adoption.

You can also try to find him to do a termination of parental rights which you file at the courts.

I helped a friend do the same senerio.

Answer 5

Hi Rachael, my husband is currently adopting my son, so here's what you have to do

1) Contact your nearest High Court and ask to speak to the adoption officer, ask them to send you out step parent adoption forms, these forms will arrive within a few days.

2) You MUST tell your son that your husband is not his biological father, social services will not go ahead until this is done as they will need to speak to your son about the impending adoption and that he has a right to know what is happening in HIS life

3) Once the forms arrive you may  want social service's help with filling them out as they are a bit complicated or you can get a sloicitor to fill them out for you (we did)

4) Once forms are filled in and posted off with cheque for £150 Social Services will contact you and see you within a week, your son them becomes a 'protected child' of the courts and will not be legally yours again until the judge decides so, incase you didn't know you also have to adopt your son, as crazy as it sounds its true!!  If the adoption goes ahead you will be his 'adoptive mummy' on his new birth certificate

5) Social Services will call out to see you, your hubby and your son, they will have a list of forms to fill out and will have forms for police checks and medicals, the social worker has to then write a report for the courts and your son is appointed a 'Guardian' from the courts who will speak to your son about what is happening and how he feels etc....  SS will then be out every 4 weeks to see you and let you know what is happening

6) SS will explain what happens in regarding finding your son's biological 'father' and the process normally takes 6-12 months

Hope I have helped, contact me if you want to but you MUST tell your son what is happening, contact SS if you need advice on how you go about doing that

Good luck :o)

Answer 6

ive looked into this but in scotland the law is different so im not sure where in the world you are. but if the real father has been absent without contact for years the court will more or less automatically put it through for adoption, but if there is any parental contact the kid has to attend court with the absent parent and state that he requires to be adopted by his step dad if you understand, i also know this can be done in writing through a lawyer to avoid any emotional upheaval on the kids behalf. steph families have more rights than you think, there is a webite but for the life of me i cant remember wot the name is. if i remember it i will edit this and add it for you.  good luck with the whole process it should go through no bother because there has been no contact since birth.

Answer 7

I would phone an adoption society where they will give you all the necessary information, but I'm guessing that you will need to get in touch with his biological father somehow, maybe through any family or friends, and I think you would need to get a lawyer.....I understand that your husband wants to adopt him but if thats not possible a piece of paper won't change the fact that he loves your son like his own.....so nice to hear a nice story, I hope it all works out for you in the end

Answer 8

Hi you should go & get advice from citizens advice.If you put the biologicals father on birth certificate he may have to be told.I do not think your husband will have any problems with adopting his son.He is the dad.Good Luck

Answer 9

We got a lawyer.

Then  someone was sent around to see if we were fit parents :-)  and then we had to find my ex and have him o.k. it.

good luck