How far can a bride go on dictating what her bridesmaids are wearing?

Question

My best friend is getting married in about 3 months.

In the beginning of all this wedding craze the bridesmaids were allowed to pick any dress they wanted, but they all had to be the same color, a really pretty cobalt blue, and the dresses could not be sleeveless. I thought this was a really cool idea, and I liked it, but the other bridesmaids absolutely hated it.

Recently, she (the bride) held a meeting, and said that she was picking the dresses now, and that they were all going to be the same, no ifs ands or buts about it.

Apparently, some of the bridesmaids (ie the brides two sisters) picked really S****y dresses, and this is the only way she can get them into normal conservative dresses.

Answer 1

I'm getting married next year and I completely agree with the bride. I know it sucks for everyone else but it's her special day and everything should be perfect for her. I wouldn't want anyone wearing something S****y to my wedding especially the ones in the wedding party. Plus with everyone wearing the same thing it looks more uniform and classy.

Answer 2

i think she's totally right on this one, this is her wedding, and her two sisters shouldn't be wearing "S****y,trashy" dresses to such an event,

so she had a right, since she's the bride, and it's her wedding

Answer 3

Traditionally, the bride does make the decision on the dress and the bridesmaids wear it regardless if they like it or not.  Just recently, brides have started allowing the bridesmaids to pick their own dresses, which is a nice gesture, but not required.  It sounds like the other bridesmaids are not going to be happy with the brides choice no matter what, so honestly, getting through to them is probably not an option.  Just continue doing your best to support the bride and make it as painless as possible for her.

Answer 4

ok soooo what? i wouldn't whoreish sisters at my wedding either

Answer 5

It sounds like the bride has basically already told the other bridesmaids to shove it, so you don't need to. I say good on the bride for putting her foot down.

Answer 6

Wow, beware of all the bridezillas out there! It is their wedding, and their "special day" but some brides go too far and become bossy, bitchy girls.

I would like to go to the beginning of this: is an honor when someone ask you to be a bridesmaid, but is also an honor when someone accept to be your bridesmaid, is both-ways, and people should always keep in mind is that what matters is their friendship, their special bond, over details.

I know is a lot of pressure being planning a wedding, specially for the bride, but that doesn't give her the right to "dictate" what should the bridesmaid wear, I think is necessary to talk, consider everyone involved opinion, and even though the final decision is hers, she should at least try to ask it in a nice way.

In this particular case, I think she could have "suggested" the dress she thinks is best and asked the other girls if it's ok, or what would they like better, and allow changes that she can tolerate but saying no-no to something if she considers is really inappropriate.

Answer 7

It's not the bridesmaids day to shine.  The bride and groom should be the ones to call all the shots, it's their big day, not the bridal party.

Answer 8

Sounds like she has the right. It is her wedding.

Answer 9

The Bride have all the Rights in the World to do this! It is her wedding Day it is what she wants!

Answer 10

she can go as far as she wants because it's her special day :) i'm sure you would have found something amazing but it's too bad her sisters would have done that to her :( some people are just unbelievablee!!  

Answer 11

Its her wedding, they said yes to being it in.  Its one day and it wont kill them to wear what she wants!  

Answer 12

The bride has every right to do this. I wouldn't want one of my bridesmaids looking like a tart in my wedding or in the wedding photo's for that matter. If I were you, I wouldn't say anything to them. I would just do your own thing and not worry. If you get involved when its not necessary, you will probably make it harder on yourself. Jut go with the flow. You sound like a dream bridesmaid lol.

Answer 13

That sounds absolutely fine.  It was really nice of her to allow you to pick your own dresses that way it can fit your body and budget and you will be more likely to re-use the dress.  Unfortunately for you two of the bridesmaids totally abused this generosity.

Most brides pick the dresses from the get go, and many times they are ugly, something you would never wear again and ridiculous over-priced.

It sucks that other bridesmaids ruined the flexibility, but it is not unreasonable of the bride to want to pick the dresses.

Answer 14

The bride can go as far as the bridesmaids let her. Basically they will say OK up to a point and then if they can't resolve it (because the bride as gone too far) they will just drop out of the wedding.

No sleeveless dresses? She considers that S****y? Sounds like she has picked out ugly, frumpy, dowdy dresses to make the bridesmaids look like c**p so she'll look better.  

Answer 15

LOL. Darn. Because it is a cool bride who picks a color and lets the bridesmaids pick a dress they like. I'd have thought MOB would get the sisters in line but maybe they live far away and mom didn't have a say.

Most of the time, I love the idea of picking a color or even two and letting the women pick what they would like to wear. But I guess you run the risk of too S****y. Looks like they were hoping to meet guys at the wedding?

Answer 16

There's no real way to tell them to shove it nicely. I have two (possibly three) of my bridesmaids who don't think that the dress I picked (they requested that I pick one) needs a cover-up. (It's sleeveless. My wedding is in a church). All you can do is be there for your friend. Frankly, if I was in her shoes I would remind my sisters that I don't have to have them in the wedding party, and they don't seem to want to be, and thank them for the time they had given me. However you can't really kick them out for your friend, nor do you want to suggest that she do so.

Best of luck

Answer 17

my sister did that for her wedding; she let all 5 of her bridesmaids pick their dresses as long as they were the same color (black) and she didn't care where they came from but her best friend bought a dress that was too S****y like literally showed all her stuff and my sis completely changed her mind and picked all the dresses herself.

its her wedding day and if she gave them all a chance to pick the dress themselves and one person screwed up then i think she has the right to change her mind. If the bridesmaids didnt expect that then they should be her bridesmaid.

good luck

Answer 18

Tell them to be there for the bride. She has enough to deal with without them behaving like they've been watching too many episodes of My Super Sweet Sixteen. This isn't about them.

Answer 19

Most of the time, the bride picks the dress and the bridesmaids have no say in the matter. It was nice of her to try to allow you all to pick your own dresses, but obviously that idea isn't working. The bride has every right to overrule the dress choices and pick one dress for everyone to wear. It's her wedding. Wearing a dress you hate without whining is one of the first responsibilities of a bridesmaid. :)

Answer 20

usually the bride picks it, and as her friend/relative you suck it up. it stinks, but when it's your turn, you can do the same to her :) lol. just hope she doesn't pick anything strange.

My sister-in-law let us pick whatever we wanted, but it had to be periwinkle or white, and she had the final ok. If it was a no from her, then it was a no. I was 7mths preg and it was really hard to find something, and she veto'd my dresses about 3 times before I found something she agreed upon. Usually it helps if you give some guidelines. For example, david's bridal sells separates that are not at all 'S****y' no matter how you piece them together. And they come in an array of colors. Maybe you can suggest using the separates collection (most bridal stores sell them) in the particular color, so that way you get the "normal conservative" dress, but everyone can make it they're own style....Just something to think about :)

Answer 21

It's her wedding and if they were picking S****y dresses then I understand. Ask her to pick a few set of styles though, say, please pick 3 different styles. Let the 3 (or however many) choose between them and that way you can have your own style.