How far can a school system go when controlling your parenting?

Question

Actually That g*y Guy,

The Federal Government has no attendance policy, they mandate that states provide that. States provide their own attendance policies. So it is not a Federal Crime.

5 unexecused absences . . . a federal crime . . . sheesh

Hey you never know, more folks like you it may be someday.

Answer 1

Unexcused Absence means the school was not notified about the reason for the absence. Schools and school districts have to keep and report records/information to the state. The letter you got is probably mandated by the state and customary in these cases so I would just consider it a "heads up" intended for you to make a simple phone call to the school office on days that your daughter won't be there.

ETA: Having respect for the school rules and policies is what this is about.  It's protecting both your daughter and the school. Who would you hold responsible if you got the letter and she hadn't missed any school that you were aware of? Communism and Dictatorship are an entirely different thing and  you are not even close to experiencing that.

No, I said respect for the school RULES. Had you done that to begin with you wouldn't have gotten the letter. I parent my child and I do honor the school rules and policies. Wow....just Wow....

Answer 2

My son is set to start Kindergarten in the fall and I personally think this is downright ridiculous and that the government and school systems are stepping over the line when it comes to parenting. They're our kids, we know them better than anyone else and should be able to make the decisions! If a child hasn't been sent to school in two weeks then I understand the need for someone to step in and see what the problem is but 5 days in a whole school year!?!? So stupid!! As long as the child is keeping up with school work then an occasional missed day should not be a cause for concern. If we're going on vacation and need to leave on a Friday am I supposed to get a doctors note? When I was a kid we just asked the teacher for the assignments we would miss.... What is happening to our rights as parents in this country??

Answer 3

This doesn't seem right to me either.  In my state (or at least my districts) 5 unexcused absences might get you detention, but certainly not prosecuted.  I can absolutely see, however, the necessity to prosecute parents for *excessive* absences with no valid reason.  I've seen kids miss 75 or more days of school, and not for medical or other such reasons.  I completely understand the need for missing school for medical or psychological reasons, and in those cases, homebound tutoring is a good option.  If it's just a case of "hey, I don't care if my kid goes to school", that is clearly educational neglect reportable to a state child welfare agency.

EDIT: As someone working in the school system, I absolutely support the law and support my districts' attendance policies.  When I have children, I understand that it's my responsibility to  take them to school.  And yes, the government has a right to mandate that children attend school.  School is necessary.

Answer 4

Yes, the government DOES have the right to do this. Your daughter is required by federal law to go to school. The school is LEGALLY responsible for where your child is during the day, and her missing a field trip because she doesn't want to go is no excuse.

EDIT: Fine. If you think it's that unreasonable for the school to do its job, take it up with the principal, but realize that you have broken federal law and they are just doing their job.

EDIT 2: Actually, my name is Russian for "That g*y Guy".

I got a 35 on the ACT and a 36 in the reading comprehension section, mind you. Schooling is a federal thing.

Answer 5

yup my daughter is 7 and her school has been driving me nuts. She has a health problem she goes to the doctor often or has to stay home once in a great while. She has had 5 unexcused absense. I went into the school to talk to them because I was mad as heck! They said if I turned in a note from her doctor there would be no problem .Wth she has had many doctor notes when she missed. Why should I have to give up my childs privacy and get a note from her doctor saying she has ongoing care and what for. I dare her school to take me to court I will file a law suit in a heart beat! Thre is no way this can be legal I tried looking this up online I live in Ohio but can't find anything about 5 unexcused. I have a few friends who are teachers and they told me some schools miss out on funding when children do not attened almost perfect. There is a girl at my daughters school who is never there and they say nothing to her or her mom I really wander if the only reason they say anything to me is because I'm white. I'm not joking here either! I won't be shocked if I end up in court but I will bring up my daughters medical needs and if this is such a problem I will tell them and the courts it's time for me to get lawyer. Medical privacy should be a right to anyone! That's the reason for my daughter missing school but like your child my cousins children have missed for field trips and such my cousin does not trust school bus drivers and they have not said anything to her.

Answer 6

were they still unexcused if you called the school and told them your daughter wouldn't be there on that day? I don't understand the rules in play here, I'm sorry.  It seems a bit crazy to me that if you called in for her or sent a note the next day that this would still happen.  If I were you I would get somethign from her doctor to say she's exceptionally shy or whatever the problem is clinically and that's why you have her out of school on those days - and why you'd continue to.  I do know that schools need insurance cover for kids in school and if they can't be accounted for they themselves can get in trouble.  But at the same time, I didn't think they'd prosecute.  How are homeschoolers monitored by the government if so?  Strange indeed, but I feel like I'm not seeing the whole thing clearly.

Answer 7

"I am SERIOUSLY considering homeschooling next year." So do so...I don't think anyone here is going to try and stop you.  As for the unexcused absences...YOU are the one responsible for them not the school.  YOU are the one who allowed your child to stay home from school so of course you can be prosecuted.  Kindergarten is mandatory in many states and schools have a set amount of days when a student MUST attend.  Maybe you should have looked into the School's attendance policy before you signed the enrollment...that enrollment acts as a contract and you signed it agreeing that you would abide by all of the school's polocies, including attendance.  So yes the government has every right to jail you based upon your breach of contract.  So maybe you SHOULD homeschool your child since she is so "sensetive"...I don't know what you're going to do when she reaches college age though...

Answer 8

It depends on the school.  In the school handbook (or at least they should have sent one home to you), generally they will have listed what their attendance policy is.  If you end up going beyond their maximum allowable absences (both excused and unexcused), they can report you to Children and Families - and in some cases take legal action.  Five days, however, should not be enough for them to do either of these things.  You need to get more details from the school.

Answer 9

I think if a kid is missing too much school, the school might want to check in with you and see if there is anything they can do to help. I have even heard of home visits where the counsellors come by, to see if there is anything they can help with. I would be furious if I got a letter! How cold hearted!

Answer 10

Go to the district office and get a copy of the districts attendance policy. It shows how many absenses a child can have in a year, how many excused, unexcused, etc.

They HAVE to go by this policy and if they don't, you can file complaints.

I am in GA and I have never heard of this. About 5 yrs ago when my girl was in school, the schools policy was that the child could have 5 excused absenses in ONE quarter.

There are 4 quarters in a year, so she could have 20 excused absenses a year.

And at our school, just a parent note WAS considered a legal excuse.

Go to the dept of ga website and search for 'attendance policies'  If it is anything different than the school is telling you, print it out, take it to the school and ask why are they VIOLATING THEIR OWN LAW !!!!

AND, tell the school to give you a copy of the policy that supports their statements.

If I don't SEE it in BLACK AND WHITE , I DON"T believe it.

Answer 11

maby you should march in there ,give them a piece of your mind and say that your going to put her in a difrrent school next year

Answer 12

I've recieved two letters like this (once when my oldest was in kindergarten and again this year, he's in 7th grade) I called the first time (he had 5 absences and the limit is 10) and they explained that it was a warning that had to be sent out by law. She basically told me not worry about it and to try to send doc's excuses if the number got closer to 10.  I'm like you, I don't rush my kids to a doctor every time they feel bad. There are many instances where a doctor can do nothing. A stomach virus has to run it's course and there is no cure for the common cold. I also agree that sometimes kids need a "mental health" day, just like adults, for whatever reason.

These laws are state laws and the school's are complying. You are correct in assuming that public funds depends on attendance. Just like everything else in our country, it's not about the child, it's usually about the bottom line.

I'm sure these laws are put in place for severe truancy issues and it's an annoyance to parents who are doing what they feel is best with their child. I've found that many laws and rules are put into place with high school aged children in mind with no consideration for younger aged children. I've had issues with the dress code that is school wide. Tank tops that might be considered distracting at the high school age are certainly not provocative at the grade school level. It makes me roll my eyes.

With any public institution, there will be rules and regulations. If we don't like them, it's our job to take the issues up at the school board and state level. If your eyes are just now being opened to some of the injustices of the public education system, you have an interesting road ahead of you. I suggest you start researching how our system was founded and why it's in place. Some of the things you will learn will drop your jaw. They can actually go pretty far with controlling your parenting. There are reasons.....and frankly, none of them are good...

Answer 13

I think 5 days is kind of bull c**p but I im kind of glad that the schools watch that now.

Answer 14

sadly they do do this. but the good news is that you can fight it. write a letter or go in there yourself and tell them your story. In my experience you have to be polite but also very agressive. You arent doing anything wrong, so dont let them tell you you are. : )

Good Luck!!!!

I hope everything works well for you!

Answer 15

All public school systems set their own guidelines for an acceptable number of unexcused absences either using the state mandates if required or their own choosing.  Five days of just simply not having your daughter show up for school is irresponsible parenting and sets a poor example for your child.  Your daughter is not likely as sensitive as you think, but has learned that if she puts up enough fuss you won't make her go to school.  If your child is going to miss school for whatever reason you deem necessary a call to the school office to let them know she won't be there is the least you can do and all it takes to make it an excused absence.  Every day she misses has potential to put her behind in her learning, especially if she misses a day when an important concept is taught, especially one that is required to build on further concepts.  I am 49 years old, but I remember clearly missing an entire week of school in second grade when I was home sick with strep throat.  During that week fractions were introduced and when I returned to school I was completely lost in math. I still struggle with everything to do with fractions because I missed those lessons.  Your daughter's "days off" are Sat. and Sun. plus planned school breaks.  Unless she is sick or there is a family emergency she should be going to school.  In our house, school is treated as our children's "job" and they are expected to go everyday and do their best work whether they feel like going or not.

Answer 16

Yes, the government should have the right to do this.   You maybe a wonderful parent, but some parents are complete losers.    They children are missing school day after school day because Mom is too high to take them.  In some cases, kids are missing school because they are bruised from getting pushed down the stairs or abused by their dad.  

The government and schools have to have a policy for absences or people will abuse their parental rights.

As a parent, it's your responsiblity to provide your child with an education.     If you child is sick, you need to have a doctor's note.

If you have a family crisis or other issue, at least let the teacher know.   Talk with the principal.   But, being "sensitive" is no reason to miss school.

If your child is having issues with handling school, relationships w/ peers or has anxiety; the school has many resources for these problems.  Skipping school isn't one of them.

I don't see your issue.  Yes, 5 is a small amount.  But, kids are only in school 180 days.   Plus, you said she had 5 unexcused absences.    How many excused does she have?  If she has alot, the school has reason to believe she is not getting adquete time in the classroom.  

I think the school has the right.   They have to make sure kids aren't missing school just because the parents are pure losers!  As for being in the suburbs, there are LOTS of problems in the suburbs.  Many housewives are taking drugs, anti-depressions and anxiety meds just to get through the day.  I'm sure one or two "perfect" looking housewives has not taken their child to school because they were too depressed to get out of bed.

Neglect and Abuse are huge problems amoung children, even in the suburbs.  If a kid is repeating missing school, they are missing important information.   School see too many unexcused absences as a red flag.  They think, "could abuse be going on" or "could there be problems at home that are negatively affecting the child"

Don't think of this as something towards you, but protection for other children who's home lives aren't very good.  The school doesn't know what's going on at home, so they treat everyone the same.

Answer 17

Georgia state law says a maximum of nine school days of unexcused absences so you're missing four days in there somewhere.  It doesn't matter if they are in a row or not.  The states have to do this because so many parents out there are letting their kids skip school because they had a bad day.

  

When my school does a field trip that I don't want my child to go on, I can still send them to school.  They sit in a classroom and do busy work until their class gets back.  Keeping them home because of a field trip is not considered to be an excused absent.  

If your child is so sensitive that she can't go to school, maybe you should look into getting her some help for her self-esteem.  If you don't and you continue to cater to her like this, she is going to have severe problems when she gets older, especially when she actually has to go to a job and her boss expects her to work.

Added:  Even if you home school your child(ren) you will have to submit attendance reports to the local school superintendent.  And if you lie, they can get you for fraud as well as your child(ren) not attending school.

Added:  No, it's easy to not attend "home-school".  Your child my be at home, but that doesn't mean she is at "school" and you are teaching her.  Also, IMO, you are being a lazy parent.  Instead of dealing with your child emotional issues, you let her stay home.  You will most likely have the same problems when you start home schooling her.  What are you going to do when you get to a subject that she believes she can't do, like fractions, and she starts crying because of it?  Are you going to let her skip fractions because she is sensitive?

"Apparently if you dislike the governments ability to control your parenting it's because you are lazy and incompetent."  Did you mean "if you like?"  I do hate this law and some of the other laws but I understand why we have them and no, I'm not lazy or incompetent.  I do teach my kids that they have to go to school and the reasons of "I don't want to" or "so-and-so made me cry" is not a valid reason to stay home.  I teach them to deal with so-and-so.

Answer 18

no they cant dont worry about it

Answer 19

I personally make my kids go to school everyday... unless they are truly sick.

Here they do not have a rule as stated where you live though (although I have heard of them).

I guess when it comes to field trips.. maybe instead of keeping her home you should make the effort to chaperon them. Then she may feel more comfortable.

I look at it this way.... we can't call out of work because we don't "feel" like going. Kids need to know right off they can't either. School is their job.

If she is truely sick then thats another story.

Maybe if shes sick and you don't have a doctor you can find a free nurse clinic near you or ask the school nurse if she would like to come out and see that your child is not feeling well. This should prevent problems when she is really sick.

Answer 20

I agree with everything you're saying but there are some people here on Yahoo Answers who feel that you must obey the school regardless of how ridiculous the issue is.     In the minds of some,  when the school tells a parent that she must stand on her head then the parent by federal law must stand on her head.  LOL  

That's how crazy it is to be reasonable with some people when it comes to school issues.    Parents always wrong and school always right....Hmm, I don't think so.   This is WAY too much government interference.    Have you considered private school?    If the school really has the law on their side then I would take my kid out of public school altogether.   Homeschooling puts the control into your hands again but I think it may be harder for your daughter to find friends her age.   That's why I asked about private school.

I'm from South Dakota and attendance policies are nowhere near that strict here.   Academically, kids do very well in this state on standardized states and also on college entrance exams like ACT or the SAT.   Better than the national average.   Half the parents would have been jailed already if the attendance policy was THAT restrictive.

You sound like a good mom but you need to sit back and explore your options on how you would like your daughter educated.   I suppose there are going to be advantages and disadvantages with homeschool, private school and public school.   You just have to see which of them are best suited for your family.    I even heard of some families who do a mix...one kid goes to private, another goes to public and yet another is homeschooled.    You're the mom so you decide.

Answer 21

Jesus.  This is absolutely crazy.   5 days is not a big issue and the child's only in 1st grade.

Answer 22

WOW thats crazy. My kids have had a couple of weeks 9or more )off over the school year(we are 4 months into our school year) due to sickness. I would be stuffed if I lived where you did. Call the education board. tell them what you think. It is a waste of resources and money better put into education. We have near us 3 kids (under 9) race across the road everyday without looking. Many parents have had to slam their brakes on to avoid hitting them. These are the parents who need a visit from social services to explain that maybe crossing the kids across the road at such a young age may save their lives

Answer 23

You're awfully sensitive for someone who just called me an everyday suburban housewife.  In case you didn't know, we SAHMs don't like being called that.

If you have to go to court (and you probably won't), you can explain the insurance thing.  I sincerely doubt that anyone has a problem with a child missing 5 days of school.

If the field trip is an issue, you could have refused to sign a permission slip.  Your daughter would have been in school, under the supervision of another teacher.  Technically, that's the "right" thing to do.  I would have kept her home, too.

Why not write your state legislators?  It's strange that you would need a doctor's note for every little cold, cough and headache.  I know that when I was in school, I missed a day or two of school every month from 5th grade on because my menstrual cramps were so nasty.  Why see the doctor for a period?  Even if I had seen him, we couldn't have afforded the medicine!

Answer 24

Most schools have a policy where if a student misses 10 days a semester, then it can affect grades and promotion to the next grade.

A child's absence can affect a school receiving funding from the state for that child. That's mostly why they pay attention, not out of real concern for your child....it's concern for their bottom line.

Contact the school administrator. If I were in your position, I would be making it known that I did not appreciate the threat in the letter and that if my child's missing 5 days out of the whole year is that much of a concern, then I will be homeschooling or transfering her somewhere else. YOU are the parent, and if they think they could dictate to me where my child will be and when, then they would have another thing coming!

Honestly, if you had two other mothers actually have to go to court over this, I would be yanking my kid out of school and homeschooling....and if you live in California, I'd be moving out of state.

And contrary to what the last poster posted, no the school is not legally responsible for your child if she is not in school.....YOU are legally responsible for her.

Answer 25

only 5 days and they are doing that to you? that cant be right.. once you get to like 10-20 then start to get really mad but no schools have no right to do that i think.

Answer 26

My step son had severe behaviour problems, ( reactive attachment disorder), he told the school we were spanking him ALL the time. Now in Canada, spanking is frowned upon. My stepson`s teacher called a meeting with us and just basically told us that we needed parenting classes and she gave us a video, ( Barbra Coloroso), it was about how to discipline your children without spanking. Since when do the teachers become parents????Not to mention they told my stepson  he came from " a broken home"....In Canada there are public catholic schools.