How free do you think your child should be?

Question

Me and my friend both are A/B students, neither of us have ever drank/smoked/done drugs. so pretty much we're good kids. We're also both 15 and live in Las Vegas. My dad lets me do pretty much whatever i want, i have only a couple chores, and I've never been grounded in my entire life even though I've done a couple bad things in my life. My friend on the other hand has a mom who will yell at him for almost anything. She is extremely strict, he was once been grounded for 2 weeks for being home late by 3 minutes. He has even told me before that he thinks his mom is a b***h and he wish "she was more like my dad."

but what do you think? What kind of parenting style would you agree with? if you're a parent what kind of parent are you more like of the two?

Answer 1

i'd be more like the second parent as i believe that children need structure and rules to guide them to adulthood.  as they get older i will allow them more freedom, but i definitely wouldn't be like your dad and let my kid do whatever he wants.

Answer 2

keep them in check bt dont overdue it or else they wont trust you. they will become troublemakers even if ur trying to get them to be a little angel. jus be loose but not so much that they run all over you. keep rules that they agree on ie time they should be home, chores etc.

Answer 3

You and I share the same life style. Although I'm sixteen and have drank and smoked and everything. My mom is amazing, she's very laid back, although she is very protective in the right ways. Like she'll let me go to someones house and have fun all night if I wanted to. But she would never let me get anything less than an A in school.

Although, I think thats why she lets me do everything that I do. Because I'm a pretty good kid, if I must say so myself. Even though I drink now and then, I get good grades, have a job, and got a good brain on my shoulders. And I think its her raisings that made me like this.

So if I was a parent I'd be like yours and mine. Although I would still be strict for grades and things that count. But I'm not going to make my kid sit at home all day because I don't want him to leave the house. That makes no sense to me  

Answer 4

the parenting your recieving seems best, because your a good kid, no drugs ro drinking is good, same as me, i think your friend is getting screwed

Answer 5

You guys pretty much know what's right and what's wrong but maybe your friend's mom is scared/paranoid about her son becoming a unruly rebel(you guys live in Las Vegas. The place where drugs and casinos are famous). I prefer your parents' parenting style

Answer 6

the way your dad treats you is awesome because he is giving you the freedom kids want which is obviously leading you down the right path since you haven't tried drinking or smoking. Your friend, on the other hand, is most likely to rebel because he will eventually want to show his mom that she is not in control. However I do think parents should find a happy median between your dad and his mom. For instance, they should punish yall for not listening, however listen to what you have to say. Maybe yalls parents should meet ;)

i'm 17 and i have the best mom in the world. I have a curfew, but when we were deciding the curfew we were able to compromise. Tell your friend the more open and honest he is with his mom, the more trust they will have in their relationship. You, however, need to keep giving your dad a reason to trust you!

Answer 7

If I were a parent, I would be very unstrict and I would encourage creativity and innovation.  If my child did something very bad and couldn't justify it, I would punish in some way but...

If the child did something good I would remove the punishment. I would give a lot of freedom and a lot of openminded space to the child, also lots of privacy and I would trust my child as much as I felt he/she was not unsafe.

How would you be as a parent?

Answer 8

I am like you.  I'm an A student, and I don't really do very many bad things either.  My parents give me restrictions (curfews, chores, etc.) but they also give me some freedoms.  I think that's the best style of parenting.

Answer 9

I think that a parent should never be too strict, but still have guidelines.  If a parent is too strict then there kids wind up hating them and when they grow up they don't want to have anything to do with them.  But if there are not guidelines then the child would start to do bad things, like drugs.  That's what i think and i am 14

Answer 10

I'm like you, my parents give me a lot of freedom, but i never really do anything bad either.

I think in between somewhat strict & not strict at all is good. As long as the parent(s) build very strong trust with their kid, so the kid would feel guilty doing anything they shouldn't be doing.

Strict parenting usually just makes the children resent their parents. And rebel more.

Answer 11

i have a 4.0 GPA and never had a curfew.

i even smokeed insane amounts of pot as a kid and partied it up, still never got disciplined.

i think that i turned out fine. i have my own place, my own car, a fantastic job at a hospital, and know my boundries.

i think lenient parenting is good, but only so lenient. still have to be held responsible for your actions.

Answer 12

Um, both of your parents are wrong. People should be punished when they've done wrong and rewarded when they've done right. End of story.

Answer 13

we should be allowed more than most of us have, i have it pretty good but my mom is a ***** 2 me thats the only thing. o and my brother is 2 hes a huge douche

Answer 14

Definitely yours.

Being late by three minutes could have just been down to his watch being off. There are many reasons why he's late, and if my child did that, and honestly apologised, I don't see anything wrong with that.

I would ground my daughter for some things, but not that.

Things happen that are un planned, life gets in the way of rules.

Life is to be lived and enjoyed, not regretted and rued.  

Answer 15

I love Crack Daddy's answer!! Anyway, I am gonna raise my kids and let them watch any movie they want, except scary ones unless they protest, because nightmares suck. And I do not think "bad" words are bad. SO they can speak how they please as long as they do not direct their language at someone in a threatening or offensive way. I feel if you give them room to express themselves they wont need to rebel. You give them freedom but still show you are the boss. The way my parents treat me... is very un-agree-able. My dad is an alcoholic, and calls me a B***h all the time... I am 21. I live with them and my husband. He loves my husband NOW, but hated him before... of course though because he is a guy and I am 5 years old in my dad's eyes.. My mom is stupid and annoying all the time. BUT Whatever not everyone will love their parents all the time. You have to admit even if your dad is cool he still has to be annoying sometimes. OH and I 100% agree with my husband and our view to explain s*x, all STDs and HIV with our child so they understand s*x is ok as long as you ALWAYS use protection. And we will show them where Planned Parenthood is and that its ok to talk to us about it. My husband says thats fine but our daughter is not having s*x till she is 30. Which is so funny because we did when we were 16 and that was O.K. ... wtf? Men are men and think their little girls are always 5 yrs old..

Answer 16

in your city, i would be strict, your friends mum loves him so much, she doesnt want anything to happen, around your age is when things start to happen and teenagers get into trouble! i know its hard and he may want more freedom, but this world is a crazy, scary place sometimes, best to stay safe :)

Answer 17

Trap them when they're young, let them loose when they're early teens, and they won't feel a need to rebel when they're getting older.

Answer 18

free? no. im going to train my child to be the next ninja warrior

Answer 19

Alright, this is how it is. I'm a 14 year old girl (though I'm old for my age, or so I've been told) and frankly, in MOST cases, the teenagers that have the overly strict parents are the ones who end up rebelling. It's in a teenagers nature to want to grow up, make choices, and do what they want; and giving your child no leash whatsoever is just going to make them resent you, and sooner or later, rebel against you. One of my good friends has such a strict household, that she isn't even allowed to hang out with me because I swear, I wear a lot of makeup, and I dye my hair frequently. Her mom doesn't let her buy inexpensive clothes (fearing it will ruin her "rep"), and doesn't let her gain weight. She has a strict curfew, and makes her carry a walkie talkie around so she knows where shes at. It's ridiculous. And a few years ago, everyone thought this friend was the queen of perfection... and now, she's out partying, drinking, and breaking the rules, all because shes sick of being s slave to her mother. That's the way teenagers work. Give us rules, but let us LIVE. We're your children, but we're still human beings, and we need to learn the facts of life eventually. If we wait until we're older, when we have to be smartening up and ready for the working world, to party, then chances are, we're going to be screwed; so parents should let us do these things while we're young, and let us get that rush of being bad out of our systems.  

Answer 20

Depends-some kids need more discipline than others. But you gotta let kids out to experiment and try things out for themselves. If you shelter kids-they won't get the experience they need to be independent later as adults. I don't have any kids- but I do have favorite uncle status.  

Answer 21

well, i am sorry but his mother controls him so he does 't turn out to be an idiot and guys like your dad really don't give a d**n sorry to be rude

Answer 22

Well, for starters, I wouldn't consider living in Las Vegas a safe neighborhood for youth to be hanging out.  Young people like yourselves really don't belong wandering the city at night.  These days nobody is safe.  I do not keep a leash on my son's wrist.  He is allowed to come and go as he wants, as long as I know where he is and who he will be with.  He is only 8 right now, but he acts more like a teen.  He's very mature.  Assuming he was 15 years old, such as yourself, I just know I wouldn't want him wandering an area such as Las Vegas at night, but I wouldn't be mad at him if he was 20 or so minutes past curfew.  For one thing, he is calling his mother names.  It sounds to me like the two of them have issues, and maybe that's why he isn't allowed to do what he wants.

Answer 23

Rules are rules set by the parent of that house hold...if he was late, then he broke the rule, and was punished...Give um an inch and theyll take a mile.!!!

Answer 24

my mom like is ur dad and my dad is like ur friends mom

every parent has diff ways of discepling their kids. :)

Answer 25

I would want my parent to care about me enough to not let me do anything stupid, but i wouldn't want to be grounded for a minor mistake either.

Answer 26

None actually.

curfew:12:00 not on the dot but after 20 minutes grounded for 1 week.

Drugs and drinking: When you reach 22.

Driving: When and if they get there license.

Cursing: At 14 or 15.

Job:17 or 16.

Dating:13

no partying on school nights.

Give them rules!!

I would be a nice as I possibly would be and if I need to get mean or strict I would.

If they coem home smelling like drugs or beer here they're side of they story if I believe it there fine if not grounded for 3 days.

Those may seem like a lot of rules but if you want your kid to be good but not to good that he is a loser you got to give him rules.

Las Vegas::::

Curfew:10:00 not on the dot but after 20 minutes grounded for 1 week.

Drugs and drinking: When you reach 22.

Driving: When and if they get there license.

Cursing: At 14 or 15.

Job:17 or 16.

Dating:14

no partying at all only birthday parties and parental super visions parties I will even meet the parents.

my Las Vegas rules!!