How good or bad are physical punishments for children ?

Question

For kids under 5, will it have impact on them. Can they relate to what we have to say or are they too young to understand !!! Although we as parents feel terrible after punishing them, however their are certain situations where we cannot control our anger... what to do !!!

Answer 1

' NEVER'; DEFINITELY; LEARN FROM A 'MOTHER', ONLY!

Answer 2

We must be reasonable and kids should realize if they did any mischievous they will get punishment.

Answer 3

its bad. kids dont understand. and when they do something wrong, its a mistake and everyone makes mistakes. theres better ways to punish a child x

Answer 4

Punishing Children is not bad but remember that you are punishing the deed & not the child.

Every child would always carry those punishment at the back of their mind when they grow. If you have convinced the child that it is not the child but the bad deed that is being punished, it is fair enough. A child should never get the feelinfg of being hated.

ANGER is just one letter short of DANGER.

Count upto 10 to control your anger. If still angry count upto 100. In the spat of Anger, normaly a person tends to take a bad decision & regrets later. Do not leave any room for regrets. It is good to be firm but very bad to be rude. Anger normaly brings rudeness.

Answer 5

Although children most certainly should be disciplined, it should NOT involve anything physical.  Being physical with a child only teaches that child to be violent with someone else.

Answer 6

I have this dilemma too. When I was younger if I did something REALLY wrong, I would get a smack. It hurt but was forgotten in a second. This was the same for my brother and we knew how to behave. People used to comment how we could be taken anywhere and we would behave well  the vast majority of the time. Then, my sister who is 9 years younger than me, was born. My parents were older and tended to give into to her much willingly, for a quiet life. She didn't have the discipline we did and it shows. She is fourteen now and is spoilt and acts it, as much as I love her. My daughter has recently started to misbehave to a point where it is embarrassing to take her out. We have tried the naughty step etc to no avail so as a last resort we will slap the back of her hand or her bum. While this worked for me and my brother when we were young, it seems only to make her cry even louder and make even more of a scene. So I would say there are arguments for and against this.

Answer 7

Never Result to physical punishment like spanking or slapping. This only teaches the child to be violent with other people. Make them write or stand in a corner, never Physical punishment.

Remember that

Answer 8

My daughter is five and only gets a pop on the hand if she is about to do something DANGEROUS.  We follow up quickly with a firm explanation of why she got the physical punishment.  Otherwise, if she is just being generally naughty and not going to get hurt, we don't use physical punishment.  She HATES time-out or "naughty spot" so that is the most common punishment.  Now that she is getting a bit older, we've learned that taking away privileges works well, too.

As far as controlling your anger, we take turns.  If I'm too angry, I tell my husband what she's done and let him punish her or vice versa.  It hurts her feelings when Daddy tells her that Mommy is very disappointed with what she did.  Hearing that she has upset me is usually way worse than the actual punishment.

Answer 9

Never punish out of anger.  If someone can't follow this rule, they should seek help.  Physical punishment only teaches a child that being physical is okay, especially for children under 5.  There are more effective methods.

Answer 10

There is no reason to use physical punishments on children.  There are plenty of other ways you can teach them to follow directions that are much more effective and won't make you feel guilty.   There is a reason you feel terrible after hitting (spanking IS hitting) your kids!  Instead with kids under 2 just use your voice tone and facial expression to let them know you do not like what they are doing.  Give your child a stern look and tell them "No!  We don't touch the kitty cat," or whatever, then GIVE THEM SOMETHING ELSE TO DO.  You have to redirect them.  At age 2 you can start using time-out, where you may give your child a warning, i.e. "No!  Don't play in the cupboard.  If you do it again, you will go to time out."  Then FOLLOW THROUGH.  Don't threaten to do something if you are not prepared to do it.  For time out with our sons we used the pack and play for time out until they were about 2 1/2 and would actually stay in time out and then we used a "naughty chair" like on Supernanny.   They stay in time out for a minute for how old they are, ex. a 3 year old would stay in for 3 minutes.  When the time out is done you say, "You were in time out for playing in the cupboard, which is against the rules.  Don't play in the cupboard."  Then give them a hug and tell them you love them and you are sure they are going to make better choices.    For kids 3 and up you can use a combination of strategies, time out and taking away toys or priviledges.  Also, the best thing you can do is CATCH THEM BEING GOOD and reward them.  It doesn't have to be a big present or anything, just a hug and tell them how proud you are. For more info you can get the Supernanny book, it's pretty good.   If you start to feel like you can't control your anger, please take a self time out!  I know my kids have done some stuff that has made me angry, but I think it's irrational to think that if I hit them when they make me angry that that will help them be better people.  So people who spank might see their kid hit thier sibling and say "Don't hit your brother!" and then hit the kid?  I don't understand how that makes any sense at all.

Answer 11

I reccommend never no matter what using physical punishment, it just doesn't work ,and if one does it two much before we know it were teaching our kids to fear us, not love us, before two i reccommend taking them away and telling no, thats owie or whatever short and simple, and after two i reccommned a time out, or a discraction, and engagement in a new activity. time outs can be useful, but i dont' reccomend for childeren under age 3, and then one minute per age, and i also reccommend time away, taking the child with you away from a unacceptable activiy, and calming down together

Answer 12

when u r a 5 yr old kid u don't know anything whats rite and WATS not . so physical punishment is not the way to go about . tell them Wat to do by keeping a reward . like a candy or a doll .

Answer 13

i do no what to answer but physical punishments r not advicible.............

Answer 14

You wonder what's wrong with the f*cking kids in the world? It's called no discipline. In Houston a 15 year old kid stabbed his 17 year old brother to death over a t-shirt. I go out to eat and see all these unruly kids do what ever they want and get away with it. I go to the grocery and these same kids are screaming at the top of their lungs for candy. My son isn't even 2 yet and he knows right from wrong. He gets told NO! If he continues to do it he gets a smack on the hand and told NO again. Guess what? He doesn't ever do it again. If it is major he will get a smack on the butt. It is something that kids need, especially in today's society. When we go to the store he is the most behaved little boy and he knows that if he is goo he can pick out a book or a piece of candy. When we go out to eat, he will sit there and watch the other kids make an *** of themselves, then turn around and talk to us and eat. You won't believe how often we are complemented on him. People think he is much older than 2, not only because of how tall he is, but because he has the mentality of an older child already. It all comes from parenting and discipline.

Answer 15

I  contain my anger, no matter what my children have done. They are kids, and kids play up once and again, there is no need to loose your temper that much that you feel guilty afterwards

Answer 16

Quite frankly, I have never felt guilty for disciplining my child unless I let my temper get in the way.  There have been times when I have yelled at my older son, but then I have always came back and had a calmer talk with him and asking for his forgivness.

For kids under 5 they understand simple verbal commands and can obey your wishes if you follow through.

Answer 17

young kids usually do not understand for what they are being punished for. Make them understand by by explaining if necessary, else just contain your anger.

but if your kid was about to do something that would've hurt him, maybe you could mildly hit him, so that he wouldn't do it again.

other than that I don't thing any sort of physical punishment is good

Answer 18

They are too young to punish them physically; should control one's anger

Answer 19

Never Punish Anyone. If They Do Wrong, It Is The Duty To Correct Them Wih Affection And Love. See, How They Will Change. Never Punish Kids. Its Very Bad. They Are Still Small To Understand A Thing.