How hard is it having 2 children?? Is it easier going from 1-2 than 0-1 kid??

Question

What is the best spacing 2 years or longer. Please share some of your experences. My daughter is 16 months right now. Just looking for advice, concerns and experiences.....

Answer 1

With two kids there really is no more time off; you will constantly be on "duty."  There is no perfect spacing.  Some people prefer having kids close in age so that they can experience things together some others are more comfortable with a 4-5 year difference.  In the end, you take what you get.  I was surprised when I was pregnant the second time around, but it's great. They are close in age, sometimes they fight, sometimes they don't.  Sometimes they do activities together, sometimes they don't.

Answer 2

All my friends who have two kids or more say that it is easier the second time around because you know what you are doing, you know what products are a waste of money, you probably saved stuff from the first one, you probably have more friends with kids now to ask questions as things come up, you are already established with your pediatrician, etc.  I also hear that you worry way less about the second one.  I can't imagine worrying less, but I only have one kid.

Answer 3

My kids are 25 months apart. I think the first is harder because you have no experience to base it on. I think the two years between my kids is ideal. Mine are both girls and get along wonderfully. they have even shared a room by choice until just this summer, my 9 yr old wants her own space. They always have someone to play with and jealousy was not an issue because we made her a big part of all of it. Of course there were times when she got mad about the new baby but never once did she try to hurt her or say mean things to her. I have 2 sisters and there is only 4 years between the 3 of us and I wanted my daughter to have a sibling close to her age. It has been well worth all the exhausting parts of a newborn and 2 yr old. I love watching them squish in the same chair by choice (they still do that) for a movie. Or watching them comfort one another when they are hurt or in trouble. And if my husband would have agreed on more kids I would have kept on with the 2 yrs apart but he only wanted 2.

I never intended on having them this close, it took me 3 yrs to get pregnant the 1st time and the one and only unprotected time the 2nd time around LOL and I was on my period. I told my husband that time around he had a super swimmer and she is my stubborn go getter LOL I know it has nothing to do with that but it is ironic.

Answer 4

My kids are 18 months apart. My son is a little over 2 and my daughter is 11 months now. It is so much easier after having one because on the first one you are soo worried about EVERYTHING and then with the second you have the experience and feel like you can handle it so you are not so stressed. I personally think it is better to have them close in age. I enjoy my sleep and the way I see it, if you have a baby and they finally get out of the "baby stage" and are sleeping through the night, you get used to it. If you wait more than 2 years, you have to get used to baby stage again, which can be hard to do, (kind of like with baby #1)! I have 8 brothers and sisters! We are all with in 1-2 years apart of the sibling closest in age. We are all very close and growing up was like hanging out with a bunch of friends all the time. (not saying you should have that many!!)

Answer 5

its not easy....but its not hard. My oldest daughter was 3 1/2 years old when I had my son. They are great together, but my son gets jealous....*he's a mamma's boy* Its hard to divy up your time. My son now is 19 months, and by the time I have this baby,  he'll be turning 2. Im very concerned though, because he's so clingy, he'll probably have a hard time with the baby. I'd say its all about the tempermant of your oldest.

Answer 6

Both are difficult. When you don't have any children, that first baby is a big change! You have to change everything in your life. Although you have some experience with the second, it still requires some adjustments. More food, more expenses, less time for your self. After that, adding babies is a breeze. you just adjust.

As far as how far you space kids. My first two are five years apart. I had my first in college, so we wanted to wait before we had more. But, shortly after #2 was born I was diagnosed with Cervical Cancer. I knew I wanted another baby,.so we hurried and got pregnant before we had any procedures done. There was only fifteen months between them. The new addition wasn't so bad, for the most part, but being pregnant, while one baby isn't walking was!

After that, turns out I was cancer free, and went on to have another baby (we waited four years) and I am pregnant with #5 now, they will be almost exactly 2 years apart.  I'll let you know how that turns out in October!

Answer 7

I don't think that there is a magic number when it comes to how many and the span between them.  Some parents I know have found that having them really close together is easier, some say harder.  It depends on the kids and your family group.

There is seven years between my son (12) and my daughter (5).  You would think this would be easier, however, it isn't because my daughter is special needs and requires major attention and care.  I expect my son to assist me, but only in basic needs as I do not want her to be a burden to him.

I would base your decision on economics and if you are mentally ready for another.  Use your gut instinct.  Good luck.

Answer 8

I had one and that wasn't too bad, but when I got married I gained another.  The two are 6 months apart and were best friends...at first.  Now they fight all the time and it gets hard.

Answer 9

It is easiest having none..

Answer 10

My kids are 22 months apart and we are happy with that and they are very close. I found it was an adjustment for me to go from 1 to 2, but before you know it, it's just second nature. You just have to find your routine/groove.

Answer 11

I have an 8,3,1 and im 11wks prego. then hubby has a 5yr old. so all together they are all about 2 yrs apart. its ok after 1 your a pro

Answer 12

it is alot of work having 2 kids you have lug along the second to the activities of the first but going form 0-1 was a lot harder. i personally feel a 2 1/2 year span in between is easier under 2 its hard for many reasons terrible twos while dealing with a new born but at 2 1/2 they can go to toddler groups or preschool so you can spend some one on one time with the new baby..

it all works out no matter how you do it ..

Answer 13

I would have to say about 2yrs is pretty good.  I have an almost 5 yr. old and 2 1/2yr old and a 1yr old.  Their all boys so i can't wait for them all to play together.  

My sister and I are 5 years apart, and before i became a teenager it was okay but once i hit those teen years we fought so much, and once she hit them it was 10 times worse.  She'll be turning 20 in a few months then I'll turn 25 and we still can only get along some of the time.

Answer 14

My daughter and son are 20 months apart and now they are 6 and 4 and it worked out perfectly!  They are best friends and when my daughter started school my son just sit at home and cried untill his 'sissy' came home.  We now have a 10 month old and my older two just love her so much.  My six year old is just like a little mommy and she realy entertains the baby.  So to answer your question it is so much easier after the first! And yes I say about a two year age difference is perfect!

Answer 15

0-1 is definitely harder. With number 2, you have some experience. I think 2-4 years it ideal spacing.

Answer 16

I can't really answer your question but thank you for asking! I have been trying to decide the same thing! My son is almost 11 months and i want another baby (not now) but i was thinking about trying in January and by that time (when the baby is born) my son would be at least 26 months. Good Luck to you!

Answer 17

I am spacing mine about 2 years apart.  My husband and his brother are 16 months apart and they love it.  I decided 24 months was good for me.  My son is just about 18 months and I found out today that I am 4 weeks pregnant.

You do what works for you

Answer 18

i have come to find out that 5 years apart is the best time frame:) that way the 5 year old is in school giving you more time to bond and rest with the new baby :)

Answer 19

my cousin has 4 kids each a year a part and it is really tough, shes only 21 so i decided to have my kids at least 3 years apart, i got off birth control when my daughter was almost 2 and now im 5 months pregnant, my baby is due december 1st and my daughters 3rd birthday is december 14th so they will be 3 years apart, but i think its easier after you have your first because at first you know nothing and then you learn more by the second

Answer 20

My kids are 21 months apart and they get along pretty good, I mean we have our days when they fight and push and cry, but right now they are 3 and 18 mo so thats part of the reason why. But most days the girls get along very well and are nice. My oldest loves her sister and when she is in the mood will teach sissy and help her and it's so very heart warming. We are planning to have another, but are waiting a little longer between them. We are planning to get pregs next spring and have the baby be born when the girls are 5 and 3. I think this way the new baby will not be as big a jealousy issue with my 18 mo old like it was when she was born. This way too, my olderst will be starting school in the fall after the new baby is born and for most of the day I'll only have 2 at home. I think most of all you have to look at what is going to work for you. Both of my kids were not planned and if I had planned them I would have spaced them just a little farther apart. But they get along pretty good. The Big Guy know what He's doing!

Answer 21

I think it's the eternal question with a zillion different answers. I never wanted my kids to be really close in age and i got pregnant on the first try so I wanted to be sure I really wanted a second one right away before we started trying. But I ended up waiting too long and could never get pregnant again. From that point on, I of course regretted waiting so long. I adopted a child when my oldest was nearly six and a half and they have never been close -- I feel like I have 2 only children. I think there are advantages and disadvantages to all age spans and it's very hard to know what will work for you and your family. Some of it depends on how much time you yourself want to spend with each child as a baby -- I adore the baby stage and wanted lots of time alone with each child, which I did get! I used to think a 3-year difference was ideal but, many people say 3 yr olds tend to be really jealous. When the kids are really close in age, they can play together more easily but, of course, there can be more competition and less time for their individual needs to be met since they tend to be needing the same kinds of attention at the same time. It also depends on whether the kids are the same s*x or not, I think and of course, that's unpredictable. I think it's best to just go with what works for you as parents since the other factors are so unpredictable. I wanted my kids about 3 or 4 years apart but, I can't comment on that age span since it didn't work out for me that way. Having my kids over 6 years apart has been easy for me in some ways but the kids haven't got much in common and it's difficult to "entertain" them both together since they are so far apart in age. However, I feel really close to both of them and that's a big plus. They have each had lots of parental attention.

Answer 22

I have a 6yr old, 2yr old and a 1yr old and it is not much difference between my oldest and middle and middle and youngest the only difference is more diapers..lol although my 6yr old is a VERY big help in every way! Some days he's the one that keeps me sane!

Answer 23

anything after the first is easier.