How hard is it realistically to adopt a child?

Question

My husband and I have an eight yr. old son. Unfortunately, I was forced to get a hysterectomy 2 yrs. ago. I have always wanted another child. We would love to round out our family by adopting a baby girl. How long does the process typically take and what kind of costs are we talking about? We are NOT interested in surrogacy.

Answer 1

How hard it is depends on what parameters you use in adopting:  What ages, races, disablilites, medical conditions of children are you willing to consider?  How much of an issue is cost?  How long are you willing to wait?

There are thousands of children in the foster care system waiting to be adopted.  And many of those adoptions include the court costs being covered as well as adoption subsidies being provided.  We just adopted our two daughters (now ages 3 and 3.5) on May 9.  They were 8 months old and 20 months old when they were placed with us.  It just took the courts that long to finalize - it usually doesn't take that long!  Both of our beautiful daughters were adopted from the foster care system.  They are healthy and intelligent.

If you aren't interested in adopting through foster care I would think the process might be a little longer through private domestic adoption as there seem to be lots of families anxious to adopt healthy American babies.  But those children need a home as well.  In that situation you would pay court costs.

International adoption is also a great option, although a bit more expensive and time consuming.  But there are so many children who need families.

We work with Bethany Christian Services which has offices nationwide.  They deal with foster/adopion, domestic and international adoption.  Look them up on the web - Bethany.org.

Answer 2

it depends on where you live, whether you want to adopt from within the US or internationally, how old you want the child to be, whether you will accept a child with any kind of special needs or not, and whether you care what race the child is. Healthy, caucasian, newborn, American babies cost the most and take the longest -- at least a year and more realistically closer to 2 years (it also depends on when you start counting) and the cost varies a lot too but, at a minimum probably $25,000 and maybe even more than twice that. Babies born in Russia, China, Guatemala and several other countries are readily up for adoption. The process tends to be slightly quicker and cost also slightly less. But, that varies a lot too. The other factor is that you will not get a newborn baby if you adopt internationally -- at the youngest at least 4 months old, and possibly closer to 2 years old. If you are at all interested in seriously considering adoption, your best bet is to contact some agencies in your community or your state. Laws vary a lot from state to state. You can get some basic info and start thinking about it when you know more. Some of the reason for the length of time adoption takes is controlled by you and how long it takes you to go from step A) asking initial questions as you are doing now, to step B) calling the agencies, to step C) choosing an agency, to step D) arranging for a home study and filling out paper work for it....etc etc etc  Most agencies don't even start counting how long the wait is until after your home study is completed. It took me 5 months to go from my first phone call related to adoption to having my home study done and I wanted it all to go as quickly as possible! It was 11 months after that when my baby was mine. Good luck!!

Answer 3

Do your research, make your calls, make your decisions: maybe 6 months.  Go through the application/homestudy process: probably a year.  Wait for a match: any amount of time, a few days, a few months, typically about two years.  The cost, if you use a reliable agency and not an open-ended facilitator, is usually $10-12,000.  After the adoption is finalized most of this money comes back to you as a tax credit (assuming you are in the United States).    

Your mileage may vary.  But the process requires patience.

Answer 4

It depends where you want to adopt from on the price.  The wait is VERY long depend on the age of the child.  A minimum of 1 year I would say.  You can check out if where you live they have state fund programs they are usually ALLOT cheaper.  I adopted my son and I went through the state and it took me  a little less then a year to get a new born.  Best Decision I EVER made!  Good luck!

Answer 5

1.  Homestudy to see if you get approved -- 3 months -- $400-$2000

2.  Apply to an agency, attorney or network on your own -- 1 month to 4 years --- $1000 - $40,000.

Your choices:

Adopt an older child through the state

Foster/adopt through the state (infant on up)

Adopt through an agency (infant on up)

Adopt through an attorney (usually an infant)

Adopt through a facilitator (infant through school age)

Network (usually infant)

Look up and read TONS of old posts on this site -- look up mine if you want -- I have posted lots of info about adoptions!

Good luck!!

Answer 6

If you are sound and stable, emotionally, financially, etc., the "hard" part is the emotional part.........It's an emotional rollercoaster, but not impossible!

My husband and I struggled with infertility, miscarriages, In vetro, etc. for 5 years. Our option to parent, became adoption.  We decided that domestic was the best for us, we found a reputable agency in the DC area, homestudy completed April 2006, renewed April 2007, Our placement of our baby girl May 24th 2007.

Our agency is special in the respect that the birthmother chooses the adoptive family by viewing their scrapbook and reading their Dear Birthmother letter. The match is based on "her connection" to you. It made it more meaningful to us in that respect.  There are other Waiting couples at our agency who waited 2 years for domestic placement, or longer, however, you must remember, consideration for placement, is also based on your criteria (what you tell the agency you will accept and not accept), so there are many facets to placement.

International adoption can be more costly.  The myths about the the process being "quicker than domestic" are just that. There are so many successful domestic adoptions now, and with many countries now changing their processes, longer wait times, and delays, are occuring more often.

So, the answer to the initial question is that, "Realistically", the hard part is giving up your control, maintaining your patience, but the flip side of that is "knowing" a child will be coming to you....