How hard is it to adopt a 3 to 4 yr old?

Question

My husband and I have one biological daughter and we were thinking about adopting an older child in a few yrs (3 to 5yr old) I know that it is difficult to adopt infants in the US(we don't want to travel) but how hard is it to adopt a 3 to 5 yr old? Thank you!

Answer 1

It all depends on the situation the child is in. My mom adopted three of my little brothers as well as me. I was adopted at about 1yr old but it was a planned adoption since before I was born, my biological parents wanted to give me up. My one brothers adoption took 3yrs and she was ready to adopt him at 1yr old and again she had him since before he was born, through foster care. My other brother took about 2yrs through foster care but my other brothers took nearly 5yrs but his case was more complicated. His bio grandmother was fighting for him and we had him since he was born through foster care as well.

It will take as long as it has to depending on the situation. Most cases you will have to travel some distance probably not far though. Sorry I couldnt give a clearer answer but  I hope it helped you out a bit.

Answer 2

shouldnt be very hard but should go through your local childrens aid society its not as expensive as international adoptions and there are thousands of kids in childrens

aid

Answer 3

Try adopting through foster care.  It's free, and there are lots of 3-5 year olds needing homes.

Good luck!

Answer 4

It would be hard but nice of you

Answer 5

IT WOULD BE QUICKER TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY

Answer 6

It should be relatively easy to adopt a child this age through the foster care system.

Answer 7

My husband and I raised two children (my biologicals) and when they were in high school we decided to adopt. Our intention was to adopt two siblings over the age of 4 yrs. We expected maybe a 4 and 6 yr old....

As it turned out our children joined the family at the ages of 5 yrs and 1 year old! We were astounded that we had the opportunity to have a little one placed--at the same time those first few diapers made me cry and we stepped back much farther with a little one than we had planned..... Since our little ones joined our family in 2003 there have been two more siblings born... We had the opportunity to adopt the two little ones as well...

But, we feel our age and the special needs of the two we adopted would not be in the children's best interest....We have however been able to have contact with the adoptive parents who have both of the younger siblings... So far the children have not had contact--but we intend to make that possible when the younger ones start to understand...

Through the foster or state adoption programs it is NOT difficult to have a child between 3-5 placed.

My first advice is to NOT do this until the child you have is old enough to communicate very well with you--and is very able to defend herself. Most families considering adopting a pre-schooler  or older child are advised to have children join the family in an ordinary birth order... Meaning the next child to join your family should be the youngest. This insures that your daughter doesn't lose her birth-order....

This is one of the most difficult age ranges for the Child being adopted. Children in this age group may seem to understand what is going on--but, the reality is that they don't have the ability to process things as well as we hope... They often lack the words to put their feelings and needs out there...

It also depends on the child's history...  What has happened during those 3-5 years before meeting their "growing-up" family...?  

Children from foster care are placed for adoption BECAUSE their lives were not safe with their biological parents. Either Abuse, neglect or some other life threatening situation brought the child into Foster Care. Many children have been alcohol or drug exposed or abused in a way that leaves a permenant effect.

Adopting children from foster care generally is free or very low cost. In some cases children adopted from foster care are identified as special needs. Often special needs children qualify for adoption assistance subsidies... Most children adopted from Foster Care will have Medicaid or state health insurance until the age of 18....

Good Luck.....

*

Answer 8

I think it is probably relatively easy, depending on what your specifications are concerning the child.  However, pleeeeeze keep in mind that, especially with older children, the circumstances that brought them to this place in their little lives are most likely traumatic and have already impacted their lives in ways that you will only BEGIN to understand in the years to come.  Please do not judge me as being critical or assuming.  I am just advising you to learn as much about adoption as possible.  Start with learning from adoptees themselves.  Here on this site.  There are also some very good books written by adoptees.  If you have a realistic understanding of how adoptees are impacted by adoption, and you still feel that you would be prepared for helping them with their own healing and with overcoming any trauma that they have experienced, then proceed.  Keep in mind that just being adopted is traumatic enough.  Then, when you add whatever circumstances this child lived in for the first 3 or 4 years of life, you are really looking at a child who needs some help with healing.  I'm not anti-adoption.  I'm just pro-education.  Learn how to be a good ADOPTIVE parent before becoming one.  Or at least become aware of the HUGE difference.  That's my soap box.  Sorry.  I know lots of people have alreay heard my sermon on the propaganda being fed to Potential Adoptive Parents.

Answer 9

I think you have to be married and you and you husbands ages added together cannot exceed 105

Answer 10

it really all depends on your financial situation, and your life situation..  i'm no expert but i think the only way you are going to get a good answer to this question is to start contacting caseworkers.

Answer 11

I have read it's pretty hard, but not as hard as adopting a newborn. That's all I can tell you unfortunately as I don't know enough about it. Try some adoption sites for other peoples experiences. Good luck- I think adoption is a really worthwhile thing to do.