How hard will it be to raise foster children?

Question

Ok, here is the thing, My husband and I have adopted a child, she has 2 siblings that have now been placed in foster care.. All 3 are under the age of 3.. My husband and I feel like we should try and foster the 2 siblings of our daughter. We hope that the birth parents of our daughter can get it togather and gain custody back . The thing is does this seem like the right thing to do or do you think it would cause problems in regards to our daughter and her birth parents?

Answer 1

It will be difficult. I worked for the State of Missouri Children's Division for 2 years, so I have some experience. The process of fostering involves alot of steps. First there is the issue of room. There are certain guidlines in each state as far as how long children can share rooms if same s*x and diff. s*x. Then you will have to take classes through the state to get liscensed to be foster parents. There are parental visits (if they get them) and meetings, and Dr.'s appointments, etc. You will get some reimbursement to help with clothing and food, etc. but unfortunately it isn't much. I do not want to sound neg. and steer you away from the idea, I just think some people jump in and then realize they cannot do it, and then the children are moved yet again and it only hurts them. Fostering is a wonderful opportunity and can really help children in need. But make sure that you understand all that is involved before making that choice. Good Luck!

Answer 2

I think it would be good to keep the siblings together, but you've got alot of work ahead of you. I know one isn't easy,... I can't imagine three. Also, you should probably consider keeping the children indefinitely, considering the parents just aren't up to par, but that's between the four of you. Good luck.

Answer 3

Back before we ended up adopting the children we provided foster care for, it was taboo to even mention that you would consider adoption because the state would see it as a conflict of interest.  Our state isn't as bad with that now but I would be careful how you approach the situation if you do want to adopt (just a little insight).

Foster children can be very difficult to deal with depending on their issues and what they were exposed to in their birth homes.  Saying this...every situation is totally different.  With my situation, I took in 2 children that were 3 years and 23 months old.  They had only been in the previous foster home for less than a week when the foster parents demanded that a new placement be found.  It was extremely hard for the first 3 years until they were semi-retrained.  They were used to settling arguments with fist fights and tackling each other to the ground.  It was exhausting to keep any kind of order!  They are older now and A LOT better than when they first came to us.  It was a long road though.

My cousin also decided to do foster care and she just took in a 2 year old boy.  He had been through several other foster homes who claimed to not be able to control him.  She actually said, "How hard can it be?  He is only 2".  Those words are coming back to haunt her now.  She has bruises all over her body from where he attacked her and he also attacked her 9 year old son and broke the skin.

These are just examples of how the abuse from the bio home can effect children at such a young age.  Just know what you are getting into before you jump into anything.  On the other hand, I think it is great to try to keep the siblings together if at all possible and safe for all the children.  Adoption is hard to do when the children have been previously abused but with love and a lot of patience, it can be done!  Our adopted children are almost teenagers now and it is hard to even imagine they are the same kids.  Kids can change if they have boundaries and consistency.

Answer 4

It won't be easy but it is one of the kindest things you can do.  You are helping a mom get a break to get the help she needs and if she can't make it you are giving your daughter such a gift!  I wish you and your family the best of luck!

Answer 5

Being a foster parent is a wonderful gift a person can give a child in need. This is a situation that ultimaltley, in the end, the two of you need to figure out. But here are a couple of things to think about: part of being a foster parent is to try to reunify the children with their birth family but as we know, that doesn't always happen. After awhile, if the birth parents are non compliant, these babes will probably be placed up for adoption. You already have one of their siblings with you, so they already have a form of connection to you and they would be with family. The other thing to think about is that by taking on these other two babes, that is providing two more family members of your child that you now have, with love, family, emotional support and stability. What can be wrong with that? Will it be easy? No, probably not, but it will be very rewarding in the end. Just remember, nothing that is worth having comes easy. The rewards of loving these children will be tremendous.

Answer 6

I think that is a good idea. I say do it! The children will be happy in the end having not been split up.

Whether or not the birth parents take them back or not they won't feel so empty with having each other.

Congrats on the adoption!

Good Luck and God Bless