How i get my son to respect me more?

Question

I live with my parents with my son ever since i had him at 17, I nevered work and now i'm 23, I'm in my second year of university. But since my parents call me by my name my son calls me a mixture of mum or basically the name my parents call me..and i feel he kinda see me as sister not mother and it hurts and he going to be six. How can i get him to respect me as his mom.

thanks pariola

Answer 1

I don't think it's a question of lack of respect, but that he's a bit confused.  If you do all the 'Mum' things then he should know you as 'Mum', 'Mom' or whatever title you decree.

Is it that your parents have brought him up and you have been like a big sister?  I just wondered and I'm sorry if that isn't so.  What does he call his grandparents?  At 6 you can sit down and explain that your parents are your Mummy andf Daddy, and that you are his Mummy.  We all have so many titles - daughter/son/brother /sister - it just needs a bit of explaining.

Answer 2

You got some good answers from other contributors, Pariola, and I won't try and better them. I know I can't. I just want to reinforce that you should bear in mind that he is only 6 and also that it is not a sign that he disrespects you. Have you tried talking to your parents about it?

Hope that helps.

Answer 3

Let him know you want to be called Mom or Mum.

he is just testing you

Answer 4

I would ask my parents to call me 'mom' and talk to your son about it. To him it is probably not a respect thing.. but to you it is, so take steps to make it happen. I am also a single mom and I got my daughter to call me mom by having my family call me 'mom' and I referred to myself as mommy. So it all worked out from a young age.

Answer 5

Calling you by your name does not mean that he doesn't respect you.   All kids go through associations like that.  He knows that you're his mom, and that he can call you 'mom', but he also is learning that you are a person, you have a name, and that he can call you that name too.   It doesn't mean that he loves you any less or thinks of you any differently.

When my aunt married her husband he had a 4 year old son.  His mom had died 2 years prior and the little boy still vividly remembered his mom.  Growing up he would call his step mom a mix of her name and "mom".  While he was younger it was more often her name, but even now that he is 18 he still will call her both.  It doesn't mean that he doesn't think of her as his mom, just that he recognizes her as an individual with her own name.

Answer 6

dont answer to him if he calls you buy your name, say im your mommy what do you say?... dont be harsh just strict and he wil soon realise he only gets your attention if he calls you mummy.

also try little praises now and again and over stress your his mummy with lots of kises and cuddles. send him a little card with love mummy, or take him to the park and say this is what mumms do with there children do you like this what else shall we do. etc...

Answer 7

He is 6, simply tell him  your name is Mom...if he calls you "Sally (your first name) then tell him that is not your name/

Answer 8

It's really not a big deal. And it's nothing to do with disrespect. My wife called her dad by his first name all the time. He loved it and it always made me smile. He will probably start calling you mum after he has been at school for a while as the other kids will say "who do you mean?" when he refers to you. He knows you are his mum by the love you give him,

Answer 9

your in your mums home, you call her; mum/mom. how confusing for your 6 year old. he his too young to realise titles just yet, and mum is just a title. I am sure he loves you to bits, and giving you no disrespect. i am old school. born in 1954. my parents lived with my granny for the first 5 years of my life.I always, so i am told, called my granny mum. Just because that's the title my mum gave her, even my grandkids now slip up and call me mum,, oops sorry they say. when your kid gets his head around names/titles, it'll be OK for you.  And by the way, well done for getting your life back on track, I am sure your son will be dead proud of you. best of luck