How imperative is it that we get along with our vendors?

Question

My wedding venue coordinator has been a real pain thus far, and we don't know if we want to go with them. The venue is ideal--an old estate with a beautiful garden, etc.

But they don't have any venue staff to set-up/take-down. This wouldn't be an issue, except that they charge by the hour, and therefore we have to hire someone to do it, and then pay them as well as the time spent on the premises.

I know this is reasonable, and if she came across as more accomodating I would be fine with it, but her emails have an incredibly rude tone to them, as is the case when I call, and she has advised me that I am "too young to be marrying" (I'm 23). I don't expect to get along with my vendors, and become best friends with them, but what can I do to get the venue I want without all the attitude?

I'm not getting married until August 2009, but the clock really is ticking for me to jump ship.

Answer 1

She should not be rude to you.  You are paying good money, you don't deserve to be treated that way.  If you really love the place, then ignore her.  Otherwise, try to find someplace else.

Answer 2

WHOA! I can't believe she told you you were too young. 1. you aren't and 2. that's none of her d**n business.

Okay Well how much do you really love that place? Is there any where else you guys would be happy?

We have our place picked out, dealing with this lovely woman and then someone else calls me one day very rude. I asked about liability and he goes "well what are you doing? a shot gun wedding with a bunch of drunk people throwing chairs around?". and made more and mroe comments like this. So I called the original lady back and told her that if we had to deal with him throughout the process we'd be going somewhere else.  Luckily she said we won't have to and she'd have a talk with him. (We are also looking at Aug 2009 and I know, places fill up fast).

You don't have to be friends with your vendors(as you said) but there should be a level of respect and a level of professionalism from both ends.  She seems to have neither.  If it were me the second I heard that remark I would've said "that is none of your d**n business and we will now be going somewhere else"  To me, I'd rather compromise on a lesser location (still beautiful but lesser) than have to spend the next year dealing with a stuck up b * tch like her. lol

Good luck hun! Please enjoy your planning, don't let her get to you. and CONGRATS!

Answer 3

You are hiring her to do a job.  Her personal opinion on whether or not you should get married is irrelevant.  

Her job is to be professional, polite, and make sure you have the information you need, choices for the things that you can choose, and to make sure it all gets done.

While you don't have to be friends with these people, an uncomfortable or non-working relationship may lead to problems.  Does the venue have a different coordinator you can work with?

Answer 4

I would just ignore her you're paying for a service.

Answer 5

It makes life much easier when you do get along well with your vendors.  

We had one vendor's coordinator that was a problem at the beginning of planning, but it turned out that she had just had a great deal of problems with young brides using their facilities.  We're an older couple and literally felt like kids listening to her prattle on about the location rules.  I understand the need to be clear, but I'm a mid-30s professional and didn't appreciate being treated like a teenager.  

I finally had to call her and set the record straight.  We asked her very nicely if she wanted to continue working with us and then explained that we weren't certain of that fact after our meeting.  I emphasized (again nicely) that we didn't mind using another venue, because our working philosophy has always been to "only do jobs with people who want to work with you!"  Neither of us had any desire to fight with the venue over this wedding reception.

Give her one last chance if you love the venue and lay all the cards on the table.  Be honest that while you love the location and wouldn't mind continuing the relationship, you really don't want to work with her if she finds you upsetting for any reason.  She may just have had a number of horrific experiences under her belt and that is coloring her opinion of you.  It's not fair, but unfortunately that's the way things go at times.

Best wishes!!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

You should get along with your vendors. That woman was downright rude! Unless you have your heart set on the place, save yourself the stress and go somewhere else...but before you do I would say something to her superior (if she has one) because being rude to costumers is unacceptable at any job.

Answer 7

You are correct in that you don't have to be 'best friends' with your vendors.

Most venue coordinators come across rather abrupt as they have a LOT going on.  But this one......I tend to agree with the other answer, she should at the very least be cordial.  You are PAYING this venue for a service.  It's not like going to WalMart & getting a snotty cashier.

I know this is where you want to get married but look around some more.  I think despite you having to change the location, you will be happier.

Ps.  You DO need to be on much friendlier terms with your officiant.  :)

Answer 8

Unless you REALLY love this place (or put down a huge deposit), I would find someplace else.  She shouldn't be insulting you like that; you're giving her money!!

If you're going to stay with this site, I would politely but firmly tell her that you have paid money for her location, not her opinion.