How important are siblings? Should I have another baby?

Question

I have a beautiful 3-month old daughter, and am considering whether or not to plan on another baby. I would wait until she's a year old to get pregnant again, don't worry... I'm just wondering if i's better for her to be an only child and get all of my attention, or if it's better to grow up with siblings. I'm just looking for opinions and/or personal experience. I grew up as 1 of three, and my husband's an only child. What do you think?

Answer 1

i am 1 of 6 and its way much fun having ur sibs with u then being lonely and depressed...have 1 more

Answer 2

have another kid. i couldnt live without my brother.

Answer 3

have another child for sure. i cant live without my brother and i only wish i had another sibling.

Answer 4

Wait until she is a little older and starts asking for a sibling (I'm an only child.  I sure did!)  Then, she'll have been able to see how great it is to be an only child, and get a sibling.  Also, this way, when she complains about the sibling when they get older, just tell her, "You told me to, you deal with it."  Or something.  Good luck, and don't go crazy~~~

Answer 5

its better to have 2 because to me my brothers are everything to me and I wouldn't be able to deal with people at school if I didn't learn how to deal with it from my brothers

Answer 6

I think it's more important what your children LEARN than whether they have sibs or not. I have a brother and a sister, and I'm glad of it now, but growing up I despised my brother. Not all sibs get along as kids, not all get along as adults. My friend hasn't spoken to her sister in 12 years. Only children don't have to get "all your attention". You don't automatically have to give them all your attention just because you can. You can teach them the same lessons they'd learn with a larger family by getting theminvolved in things that extend their sense of community (vs. just family), like volunteering at church, etc. That's what I mean about it being more imporant what they learn than whether or not they are only children. If someone doesn't have sibs and wants more family, they can expand their hearts to do that. I have no children of my own, but I am a mother-like figure to one young lady of 32, who lost hers at the young age of 13. We met when she was 18 at work. There is nothing that says you have to have blood siblings to have the perfect life, or that having them makes life perfect. We tend to worry to much about those things, I think, and should focus more on what we do rather than what we are. Hope that helps.

Answer 7

I was an only child, and I hated it.  When it was raining, or summer vacation and we were on a trip, I was always lonely.  I didn't have anyone to share any secrets or feelings with, except my parents, and I don't think that would have went well at all.  

All in all, it just depends on how you feel.  If you would be willing to bring another baby into this world, and love it and care for it without being overwhelmed, then go for it.  You have 9 more months to think about it.  

Don't make any hasty decisions.

Answer 8

Both of my parents died by the time I was 31 so for me they are very important.  I don't know what I would do with out my brother to lean on these past 5 years.  My personal belief is that if you can give a child a sibling you should. I think it is one of the best gifts you can give a child.

Answer 9

I would not suggest having a second baby just because you want your child to have a sibling.  Siblings don't always get along - I have 3 sisters and while I do care for them because they are my family, none of us were ever "close"  My older sister who is closes to me in age and I fought horribly when we were younger and she tortured me (and I do mean tortured - fist fights, tying me up to a tree and leaving me until I peed my pants, making me eat cat food) the entire time we were growing up.  Now we get a long well, but it took us 30 years to get there.  My 2 younger sisters are much much younger than me (18 and 21) and so we have very little in common.  

What it boils down to is if you want a second child, have one.  But don't do it just because you want your child to have a playmate - that's what friends are for.

Answer 10

I would wait until she is a bit older than that.  There's two years between my niece and nephew and my sister in law always says that she wished she had waited because she didnt feel she had enough one on one time with her first and now the second gets all her attention.  Obviously she loves them both to pieces but its been really hard work for her!

I think 3 years is a good age gap.  There's going to be just under 5 yrs between mine :-)  I think its important to have siblings because its someone who is going to be there for you through your whole life, and someone to keep you company and to play with as you grow up.  I regret not having a second child earlier and i worry about the age gap now but im so glad that my son will have someone regardless of the age gap!

Answer 11

OK, I am just like you 1 of 3 and my husband is an only child. He wishes so bad that he had siblings and always wants to be around my family because I do. Now, his parents are elderly and we are all they have to depend upon and it is hard for an only child. They are totally dependent on us. Have at least one more. Your child will thank you when they are older to not have to deal with hard decisions alone. Hope this helps!

Answer 12

I personally love having siblings. I have a huge Italian family and family is everything! I have 3 siblings I have a sister that is 4 years younger, a sister 10 years younger and a brother that is 11 years younger (all from the same parents btw) . Even though there is a BIG age gap I still get along with my younger sister and brother very well, I actually just got from from taking my little brother on a shopping spree. Your daughter would benefit greatly from having a sibling or 2. She will also learn how to share with others, and take responsibility when she's older. Thats just what I've learned in my educational psychology class.

Hope this helps!

Answer 13

My older sister and I are 15 months apart. I grew up with a friend, someone to talk and play with so I was never bored. My mom always said that once we got to a certain age we helped eachother and her job was easier. She had my younger sister when I was six and despite the age differemce she's been an important part of my life as well. I helped watch her and felt like I was a big support for my mom. Now, my sisters and I are still close and I can't imagine a childhood without them. I believe that as long as you can financially and emotionally support another child then it would be a great experience for you, your husband and youur daughter.

Answer 14

Well I have two children who are a year apart currently 1 and 2. And already my kids enjoy each others company!...THe older one does whatever he thinks the younger one needs to be happy...whether playing with him, giving him his pacifier, rubbing his head...Its the cutest thing every, and whats even more amazing is when I was pregnant with my second child, my son was only 3 months old, by the time he was 9 months I never told him that I was pregnant obviously he wouldnt understand, he one day just started kissing my tummy...and did so til he was born. That right there made it all even better that they were so close together. I also think it teaches them that life is not always about them!As where alot of only child's get all the attention...

Good Luck! I love the closeness!

Answer 15

I think that it's better to have at least one sibling.  There are some great lessons that can be learned there as well as great family time.  It's not to say that being an only child doesn't have it's benefits, it's just that if I had a choice I'd always want at least one more.  For some people that's not an option, so you just make it work.  If you do end up having an only child, I would make sure she is socialized very well and is used to being around other kids and not getting 100% of your attention all the time.