How important do you think it is for a man to know his wifes children are his?

Question

and not the product of an affair? Do you feel that he has a right to know this medically (DNA test at birth)? Would it make society better or worse to have a standard test done before he accepts fatherhood of the child? Do you think current HIPAA regulations trample a fathers right to know his offspring or do you think that it is not in fact an established right for men to know who their children are (or aren't)

Answer 1

It is pretty important. Usually it's easy to tell because the child will have some of dad's features. Both of ours do. I'd say that if a man is so concerned about his wife's fidelity that he wants to have a DNA test done, maybe he shouldn't be married to her. Unless she has cheated previously or he has good reason to think she has....in that case it's different.

I don't think it would be good for society for men to just automatically test their kids at birth. That would not be good! LOL I have a hard enough time with my babies being given eyedrops at birth - I despise the assumption that I have chlamydia or some other revolting STD. I am NOT a s**t. I hate that the government treats all women as if they are in that regard. So obviously I wouldn't take kindly to the assumption that this baby may not be hubby's kid. I'm not a perfect wife, but I am a very faithful wife. I won't even flirt with other men!

Answer 2

To answer the actual question asked, how important do I think it is for a man to know his wife's children are his...I think that totally depends on the man.  Some men would completely loose it if they found out that the child they had been raising as "theirs" wasn't while some men wouldn't care.  

As for the question of mandatory DNA testing I have several problems with that, none of which are meant to trample father's rights.  My first big issue is that anytime the government starts regulating something it seems like more problems are created than are solved.  The second issue is that it creates an environment where DNA samples can be data based and while the idea would be presented in positive terms (help kidnapping victims, find quicker matches for organ or marrow transfer, ect) it also means we would have no real knowledge or control over how this information was used.  My biggest issue with the law does have to do with fathers.  Namely fathers who know the child is not his and still wants to claim it as such.  Parents who have had to use fertility clinics because of sterility issues or men who entered into a relationship knowing the child wasn't theirs would then have to justify and/or explain their reasoning for taking responsibility for a child that wasn't theirs.

The underlining assumption with this issue is that there is something inherently better about raising a child that contains "your" DNA.  The assumption that somehow children that do not contain a biological match to "your" bloodline are somehow inferior to those that do.  The "your" here is generic and not aimed at any certain person, but the idea is semi-pervasive in our society.  I once heard a woman say that it was impossible to love an adopted child as much as you would love one you gave birth too...and the idea that you must be a DNA match to the child is the same   idiocy from a male perspective.

Answer 3

Very important. No man should be forced to take of a child that does not belong to him.

Answer 4

100%, as it is the children's when they are old enough to understand.  However I also believe that there is no reason for this if there is no suspicion of infidelity.  Unnecessary DNA testing could quite possibly ruin a good relationship.

Answer 5

I think you're in a really bad relationship if you need to ask for a DNA test before the birth of your child.  The whole world isn't like it is on Maury.

Answer 6

This is a tough one to answer, because how will the supposed father know whether or not that little baby is going to have the look in its eyes that say "I know I'm not yours; please don't forsake me?" It would be, in this case, the wife being the bad seed not the child.  There comes a time when fatherhood is solely based upon compassion; not tests.

Answer 7

What does Society have to do with knowing weather or not your the father of the child.  I think it would be for your own piece of mind to know.  After knowing you can then make a rational well thought decision on how you want the rest of your life to go can you accept someone else's child and the fact that your spouse had an affair.  Or is everything OK and theres nothing to worry about, and you can go on living your lives.

Answer 8

Just because you don't trust your woman does not mean everyone else doesn't.

Answer 9

Sixty percent of babies look like their fathers at birth for just this reason.

Do you comprehend that not everyone is an immoral s***k who sleeps around?

Answer 10

Given that DNA studies for other matters than paternity have found rates of false paternity as high as 10% or more, in populations where there was no suspicion of infideity, I would say that having mandatory DNA tests done at the time of birth would be a Good Thing for two reasons: 1) It would provide men with an *equal right to be sure of their actual parental status as women now have ( Consider the very rare times that babies are accidentally switched in hospital, and all the fuss that that results in; paternity fraud is a MUCH bigger and more common problem.), and 2) It would act as a good deterrent to women who would lie and cheat to pass off a child not of their husband as being falsely his.

The "advice"for men not to marry such women is sexist and absurd: no woman would ever offer up such "advice" were the complainant a woman who had been abused, for example: Thats called "Blaming The *Victim*", and its Bad even when the true victim is a man.

Paternity Fraud; the Ultimate Evil.

Answer 11

every man should KNOW there should be no question about it....If you do not trust that woman would only be having your baby then maybe you shouldn't be getting it on with her

Answer 12

I imagine that every man would like to know that the child his wife is having is his and not someone else's.  But I think if you have to insist on a DNA test then relations between you and your wife must be pretty bad.

Answer 13

I think he has every right to know...

but it really doesnt matter to some men.

so its the man's choice if he wishes to find out.

I have a soft spot for the ones who find out the kid is not thiers and they still wanna be a father to the child.