How important is it to look good for the opposite s*x?

Question

A certain answerer here is of the opinion that feminists don't care about what men make of their appearance. If that were true, would it necessarily be a bad thing? Who would it be hurting?

(Obviously, if you want to attract a mate, it matters some. But this answerer infers that all women should want to do this.)

Answer 1

I can speak for myself, I don't care what men think but I care what people make of my appearance. People in public places obviously do not know who u are, they have no chance to talk with you randomly for a long time to get to know each other. so, they treat people very differently based on their appearance. even if the given appearance such as face and body are not in a good shape, they will treat better who show at least the effort to make oneself look good. I care about what people think about my appearance, but it's not necessarily because of the men. If u were trying to attract a man, u'd want to look more S****y than neat and decent. Men who chase after superficial beauty are not mature and intelligent enough. I don't want that kind of person to be my mate.

Answer 2

I don't think it's important at all.  I do think it is important to take pride in your appearance and health FOR YOURSELF.  

I'm not stating that a person should be a vain, stuck up, can't leave the mirror snob.  

A person should take pride in their own personal hygene and appearance.  If you think you look fantastic with hair dyed electric blue....well then go forth and do.  Don't try to change your looks to what you feel the opposite s*x is looking for.

I was a "grunge" girl, DECADES before the grunge look was in.  My life revolved around riding horses, while I lived in the Pacific Northwest.  So jeans, hiking boots, and men's flannel shirts were my own personal style.  I didn't suddenly vamp out to dresses and heels, just because I thought a guy was cute.  

So some guys where not attracted to a cute little gal, dressed like a tiny logger.  But guess what?  Some guys were, and I looked fantastic, healthy, and ready to participate in things that interested them, even though I was in jeans, flannel shirts, no makeup, and had my hair in a ponytail.

People need to be themselves.  It's quiet a shock to a woman to marry a guy, who seemingly stops brushing his teeth on the wedding night.  It's quiet a shock for a guy to marry a woman who suddenly grows a better mustache than him after the wedding.  

People need to care for themselves in ways they plan to care for themselves married or not.  If you are going to dress like a fashion plate, and scream "high maintenance," please do so right from the start.  Don't dress down, and try to rough it, just because you want to get in the other persons pants.

Be yourself!  Pick a mate that is happy with who you REALLY are.

~Garnet

Permaculture homesteading/farming over 20 years

Answer 3

for me, the biggest thing is being forward

i dont flirt well...or at all

and i dont think well on my feet.

Answer 4

It's also a big part of "keeping" a mate.

Additionally , the propaganda spread about implies that if normal women put effort into their appearance , they are somehow diminishing their worth.

Answer 5

For a man it's not very important as long as he has wealth and confidence.

For a woman, s*x appeal is paramount.  No heterosexual man will be with an unattractive woman unless he's mental.

I'd rather live a life of solitude than even consider being with an unattractive, fat or otherwise absurd looking woman.

Any guy who tells you otherwise is either lying, has a fetish for fat women or is mental.

Answer 6

It all depends on what you want from them

If the answer is attention, love, s*x, or a relationship then yes it matters a great deal

If you want respect then not dressing in a certain way can help that cause

If you want to not get attention from them then yes it depends how you dress.

IF you want nothing from the opposite s*x then no it doesn't matter how you dress

Answer 7

I find it interesting that whenever a form of this question is posed, most relate it to women's appearance.  Even more interesting is the idea that if a woman does care about her appearance, it must be to attract men.

FOR the opposite s*x? IMO, slim to nil importance.  If I were the kind of person who desired attention based solely on appearance, I might find it more important.  But I'm not.  And to be frank, most of the women I know aren't either, BUT are the kind who will initially dress up all the time, always wear makeup in the beginning to attract a mate and then once in a relationship after time it stops.

I've always been the "what you see is what you get" kind of woman who rarely wears make-up and therefore either doesn't wear it on a first date or if I do, I make a point of saying that it isn't a regular thing for me.  I always figured that if he didn't like me in my no make-up face, jeans, tshirt and flip flops on the first date he won't like it later on when he finds out thats what I look like almost every day.

And I expect the same, if a guy wears a suit and tie on a first date, I expect that to be the norm for him and would probably think him high maintenance.  Holey jeans and a T-shirt? Now that's up my alley, lol  I always did have a thing for the grungy guys, I blame it on Kurt Cobain.

Nothing's sexier than being hot without even trying.

Answer 8

Looks don't matter that much. I think it's nice to make an effort to fix yourself up a bit for your spouse or partner, but I don't feel the need to be always fixed up when I'm doing errands or sitting in on my kid's swimming lessons.

Anyways, no it wouldn't be a bad thing and it wouldn't hurt anyone. The only thing is, how far are they going with it? Are they just making no effort at all with their appearance? If so, they may find that people consider them to be slovenly, and most guys find that unattractive, which may make it harder to attract a mate. Again, it isn't hurting anybody and it's their choice.  

Answer 9

I think that some women not only dress up to impress men, but to equate, if not exceed, other females in terms of physical appearance.

I guess it gives some a feeling that they 'fit in' if they receive glances from either s*x.

For me, I always like to look presentable when I go out, because it gives me personal satisfaction in knowing that I look okay. Surely self-respect can't be a bad thing.. :-)  

Answer 10

I don't think it's that important to "look good" for the opposite s*x.  I think a person should want to attract a mate based on their personality, values and morals.  Not on their looks.  A person should want to "look good" for themselves.  I don't think it's a bad thing to not want to dress up for the opposite s*x and I don't think it would hurt anyone.  I personally don't go out with out make up and looking half way presentable because I want people to have a positive impression of myself, but it's not to attract a man.  My boyfriend actually prefers me with out make-up and gettin' all dressed up so it's not that important.

Answer 11

The answer to this question pretty much depends on what someone's looking for.

For me, the more I get to know someone, the less their physical appearance matters.  Besides, appearances fade over time, no matter how much botox someone injects into their face.  This doesn't mean I want a complete slob, just that I'm more forgiving about what society might interpret as flaws.

I don't think that women, or anyone for that matter, should place too much importance as to what someone else thinks of how they look, as long as they're confident in themselves.  So much of what's perceived as "beauty" is fake (make-up, push-up bras, bra inserts, etc), and I don't see how that could possibly be a good thing for our society.  Now, if this were in a work situation where there's a dress code, it's more understandable for people to put more time into appearance.. but otherwise, it's not really a bad thing.

Answer 12

Body language and how we dress says a lot to others.  Bottomline we all have the freedom to choose how to dress.  I accept others who are different.  Maybe those who have objected to how feminists dressed cannot accept them as is.  

Answer 13

I think it's very important to look good for men. Besides all the obvious reasons for this I also think it shows respect. For example, if you were dating a blind man would you dress up for him? I would. Does it matter to him if you are hideous? Maybe not, but still I think it shows character that you are willing to do that for him.

EDIT: Aw, I'm being 'thumbed' down for respecting guys =P

Answer 14

I am the type of man that dresses well and tries to look my best at most times, and, would be utterly uninterested in a woman that didn't do the same most of the time.

Answer 15

it's only important if you think it is important. but i think that women have a natural desire to look as hot as they possibly can. except for those women who have just given up.

if a woman doesnt care about her appearance....she is not hurting anyone. except herself. unless she dont care, then she isnt even hurting herself.

having said that, i think it is unnatural and not normal for a woman not to want to look her Sunday best. it just goes against everything that is right and normal.

Answer 16

Hmm, that is a toughie!  Well, I'll tell ya what I think about women who don't bother with their appearance:  they are only hurting themselves.  They are cheating themselves out of the opportunities to not only attract a mate, but to attract friends as well.  Why?  Because it is just a fact that all humans (unless they are blind, obviously) prefer to look at pretty things, including other humans.  Judgements are almost always based on a first impression, and what does that usually involve?  Seeing the person and noting their appearance.  This is not something that anyone can prevent themselves from doing, no matter what all this politically correct mumbo-jumbo tries to tell us.  I am not saying that people can't look past physical appearances, just that they either accept or dismiss a stranger based on how the person impresses them.  If a person does not bother to make themselves attractive to others--say a woman is very overweight, doesn't practice good hygiene, and wears nothing but beige or other bland colors--she will have a very difficult time attracting positive attention (or any attention) from anyone because she is advertising to the world that she does not feel worthy of attention--whether or not she claims to.  There have been a lot of studies done on this subject, and it's proven that even newborns prefer to look at someone with pleasing features and prefer people who are more self-assured than those who are plain or ugly or lack self-esteem.  So, appearances do play a very important role in the quality of someone's life, no matter what people try to tell ya.  As for the feminists who really don't care what men think of how they look, well...they obviously don't care that much about how women think they look either.  And the person who doesn't care about their own appearance is a sad person indeed!

Answer 17

Well, I don't know who said that, but you gotta think of the normal feminist bashing that goes on in here. Although I am not a feminist, more of an moderate equal-ist-type person, it does p**s me off to see these stupid cheap shots at women who are feminists.

I want to look good, though. I do. I feel better when I do, just like I feel kinda s**y when I wear a skirt. Most of my skirts are knee-length, but I feel feminine when I wear them. I like to look nice, and admittedly it's something I've not done much since I started working from home.

Perhaps there are some women who don't give a d**n. I think it's as important as you personally want it to be. There are days when I don't care. But those who emphasize that women should look good all the time - like going to market or mowing the lawn - are just being judgmental and pressing buttons. You should do what you are comfortable with, because as you stated - who is it hurting? Why do we have to be eye-candy 24/7? Do it because you want to, not because some jerk says it's a requirement.

Answer 18

I like looking attractive. I do it more for myself than my boyfriend.