How important is routine, and do you think one night out of that routine would ruin it?

Question

so ive gotten my 12mos old daughter to go to bed with no bottle, while she is still awake. i only started last night, she was sleeping within 15min last night, and 10min tonight. so im quite pleased - however, she has done it all herself, i contributed very little to it.

i told my MIL about the new routine as she usually takes her overnight once a week. i told her it bath, pjs, then if she is sure she is tired, kisses cuddles and night night, lullaby light on, she will whine, comfort her, whine, comfort, etc. she will fall asleep.

she replied:

'well if it takes a long time, them im just going to give her a bottle as i cant be bothered with all the sh sh sh it ok mummy / granny is here. if she is tried she will sleep, whether she is crying or not.

i had said, well id really appreciate for you to co-operate with me with this as she has done extremely well so far and i dont want her to get confused, and i wouldnt like the thought of her being alone and crying herself to sleep.

she replied, well, we'll see.

she is supposed to be watching her on saturday night as we have a wedding reception, i am seriously considering missing it as i really really dont want my girl to get confused and to be difficult at bedtime as so far she has been just wonderful. i havent told my BF yet, as he is at work.

so my question is, do you think one night throw her completely off?

Answer 1

she doesnt sound like a very caring grandma! can someone else babysit??

Answer 2

routine is very important for your baby, one night out of routine wont ruin the whole routine. your baby might be cranky or tired the next day but should be fine.

Answer 3

Yes... if everything is going smoothly, don't let MIL ruin it.  I tried to take my daughter's soother away and it went way better than I imagined.  Four days later she as at her Dad's and slammed her finger in the door... he gave it back to her and ever since then (2 month later) my daughter is even more obsessed with the soother.  We are going to have a much harder time getting rid of it this time.

Maybe you could leave the wedding to put your daughter to sleep, and then return to the wedding once she is asleep?

Answer 4

One night off of routine and bottle to bed I wouldn't say would get her off of her routine and I wouldn't feel so bad about leaving her (though if she can't be bothered to care for your daughter by doing as you ask I'd seriously reconsider her having her for that one night - what's she going to do when you say you're potty training her?  Just let her pee in her pants because she can't be bothered to take her to the loo?).  But I personally couldn't go out knowing that the person caring for my daughter might let her cry herself to sleep.  We went to a wedding at the weekend and i had no babysitter as anyone who offers have made it clear they won't have the patience to get my daughter to sleep any other way but to leave her to cry, and so I just took her with me.  It would've been nice to have a night out without her, but she was so sociable and happy and well behaved, and I'd much rather she be with me than crying alone somewhere.  You really need to get your BF to have a word with his mum, no offence but she seems like an awkward cow!

Answer 5

Routine is only good if you work....... cos you should always be thinking about being lively enough to actually do what youre paid for.

Oh a Babys routine............ Sorry.

It wont matter too much...... he doesnt have to go to work.

hehe

Answer 6

it depends on the routine. a bed time routine for example is not a biggie if it's not kept once in a while for a special occasion or something, but in this case i think it's important to stick to it. how about saying bye to all the bottles... does MIL also keep bottles at her place? or did you usually take one from your house? if that's the case, you can just not take any bottle and milk, that way she'll be following your method whether she likes it or not.

Answer 7

You always seem to have a lot of questions complaining about your MIL...which isn't bad!  MY MIL ( boyfriends mother ) doesn't do a dang thing for my daughter so at least yours is involved.  Anyway from some of the stuff I read she seems old fashioned and a her way or the high way kinda lady...but it should be YOUR way, not hers!  I expect my daughter to follow other peoples rules while she's at someones house but your child is only a baby and your MIL should respect the way you want things done.....And I did the technique you did a few months back with my daughter and now I have NO problem putting her to sleep but I did miss a night once ( no bath ) and she would not go down well the next night.....coincidence?  I don't think so.

Answer 8

Miss it, and until Grandma learns that she is YOUR daughter, and therefore it is up to YOU how things are done, don't let her have her!!

Answer 9

hopefully not, but jesus your MIL sounds like a right battle-axe. bloody cheeky cow!! she's your daughter, not hers and she should respect the way you choose to do things. Is there nobody else who can babysit?

Answer 10

i know this was not your question but if granny is so lazy that this is bothersome, maybe she should not have the baby overnight...now in answer to your question it wont throw her off if she is already set on it, if she is just starting it may confuse her but it will be easy to get her back on track.

Answer 11

I really don't think that one night out of routine will mess up your baby,

HOWEVER I would seriously think about leaving her with your MIL.  You are the mum and I really believe that what you say goes! It's so challenging the bedtime routine and you need people around you that will support you. Good luck!

Answer 12

If grandma can't be bothered with doing what is best for your child, yeah, just skip the wedding reception. It isn't worth s******g up your child's routine because grandma is lazy.

Answer 13

Sounds like you are about to have a power play with Grandma.  Don't give in, it's your child.  Doesn't sound like she's an ideal babysitter for you.  

Answer 14

no, one night won't throw her completely off. it may take a couple days to readjust, but no big deal. i wouldn't miss a wedding over it!!!!

To answer your bigger question: routines--for us--are really important. we LOVE them, but we don't live and die by them. and i definitely wouldn't miss a friend's wedding just because my baby's routine might get goofy.  for us, routines are easy to get off track, but they're just as easy to get back on track.