How is it that Allah can love me for me and be all-forgiving? ?

Question

I have done some HORRID things in my life--things I care not to mention. How then, can Allah look at me with love in his heart?

It's hard to let go of the things we did. I know it is for me.

Psychologists say (and I agree) that we can not love anyone/thing with more love than we love ourselves. We project onto other's what we feel inside about ourselves. How then can we love Allah with our whole heart when we hate ourselves so (low self-esteem). Especially when we have it in the back of our minds that Allah is always displeased with us.

This is my biggest struggle.

Answer 1

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

Salaam Alaikum wa Rahmatullah

I think all of us have done regrettable things in our lives.  I, like you, am a revert to Islam, and I lived a fairly typical non-spiritual life for many years and did many things that I'm just as glad to forget.  Even now, having been Muslim for fifteen years, I still make mistakes and commit sins.  It's all part of being human.

You only have to look to two of the most oft-repeated Names of Allah to  know the He WILL forgive your sins.  He is ar-Rahman, ar-Raheem, the Beneficent, the Most-Merciful.  He is al-Gaffuur, the Most Forgiving, and He has promised to accept the repentance of those who believe in Him.

The pagan Arabs who lived at the time that Islam was revealed in Arabia had some really horrible habits.  They engaged in every sexual promiscuity, they drank to excess, they engaged in tribal squabbles and raids of banditry.  They BURIED their infant daughters in the sand, leaving them to die because they were girls and not boys.  Yet Allah revealed the Holy Qur'an in their midst, and they were guided to the Truth of Islam.  When they submitted, Allah blotted out all their sins and they were like newborns, clean and without sin.  You entered that state yourself when you became a Muslim.  Any sin you committed, any wrong you did, was wiped out, erased, not to ever be counted against you.  You are truly a new person, able to let go of the regrets of the past and build a solid, honest, religious life now as a Muslim.  Know that in your heart - be confident in your purity and work to be the best Muslimah you can.  Allah will never allow any of your good deeds to be lost.  And Allah knows best.

Fi Aman Allah,

Nancy Umm Abdel Hamid

Answer 2

I disagree strongly with the psychologists' assessment. It happens everywhere and all the time. Don't know anyone victimising him/herself for loving the victimiser?

Our estimation of ourselves shouldn't have any bearing on our estimation of Allah. and as long as we'ree doing our best to get right what He gave, why should we feel He's constantly displeased with us?

One set of verses in Al Qur'an I love very much....

Is in Surat-ul-Fajr 89:27-30

(To the righteous soul, it will be said:) O thou soul, in (complete) rest and satisfaction!

Come back to thy Rabb - well-pleased (thyself) and well-pleasing to Him!

Yea, enter thou My Heaven!

He's not chasing us with wrath....He's warning us against harming ourselves.

Answer 3

Learn from your mistakes and dont make them again. Pray daily, give money to Charity, read the Qur'an, the Sunnah, follow Islam.

Allah(SWT) forgives those repent and follow the straight path and stay on that till their death. We are not perfect, even Allah(SWT) knows that.  

Answer 4

It takes many years to overcome low self esteem and yet it is possible. First step is to understand that like the tree makes fruit, Allah wants you to be successful and fulfilled. That is what life is for. The idea that you only deserve to have a wasted life comes from people degrading you when you were young. You have to understand that God did not give them permission to tell a child she is never good enough. You must cultivate a sense of personal honor, which comes from God, not from "earning" recognition for being "good."

Whatever you did, reflect, repent and go on with your life. If you committed a mortal sin like adultery, pray - "oh Allah I know I deserve to die, but since it is your will that I am alive, please forgive me."

It is Shaytan telling you that Allah doesn't like you. It's Shaytan who doesn't like you. Don't let him lie to you about Allah.

Answer 5

Allah has more mercy than everyone on this earth combined.

Allah is al-Ghafoor: The most Forgiving

This name occurs in the Qur’an more than seventy times. There are other names from the same root, such as Ghafir and Ghaffar. The meaning of the “ghafara” is to cover, to hide and from it comes the meaning “to excuse”, “to pardon”, “to remit” and “to forgive”. Allah (swt) does all these things. In the Qur’an, it is mentioned that Allah does not forgive shirk (without repentance) but He may forgive every other sin for whomsoever He wills. (al-Nisa’ 4:116) We must turn to Allah to seek His forgiveness.

Answer 6

4:110 Yet he who does evil or [otherwise] sins against himself, and thereafter prays God to forgive him, shall find God much-forgiving, a dispenser of grace:

Answer 7

Do not despair, Allah is the most-forgiving.

"Say: O Ibadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful" (Quran 39: 53)

Answer 8

Allah kept 99% mercy for Himself, and spread only 1% mercy upon the entire human race. When you see someone walking on the street, and he or she suffers from some mental or physical disability, do you yourself not feel sad inside, and wish the best for that person? If we feel that much mercy as humans, imagine how merciful Allah Subhana Wa Ta'la is

Everyone, as humans, do selfish, horrible things in life. But Allah loves the one who repents to Him, and will forgive ALL sins except one - and that is Polytheism, IF maintained until death. i know it is hard to let go of things we did, but there's no use crying over what's been spilled - whatever happened, happened, and maybe it was meant to teach you a lesson in life. Sometimes bad things happen, and one thing we may benefit from them is the reminder to not make that mistake again.

and when u pray to Allah and want to be a better person, Inshallah you will feel and be blessed with the blessing of Islam in your heart.

To love Allah more then we love ourselves, is something we try to accomplish by remembering that we are here in this life only for a short while, and whatever we do is for the purpose of pleasing Allah, for He is Al-Baseer, The Seer of All. We will soon be judged by Him, and should always be aware that we should do things for the sake of Allah, and have good intentions. In this way, we may be successful Inshallah, by trying our best to follow the pillars of Islam, and trying our best to have a Muslim personality.

You should not have low self-esteem... I feel I suffer from that too sometimes, but we should realize that we've got so much more then most. SUBR and SHUKR, my sister. Patience and Thanks. After every difficulty comes some sort of relief. Try to surround yourself and talk to other Muslims, and/or people who are positive thinkers.

Lastly, well we do not really know if Allah is pleased with us or not. Allah knows what is in our hearts, and sometimes we don't even know what's in our hearts! believe it. Atleast you want to change yourself in some way that u want to become closer to Allah, to feel that sweet love of Allah and of Islam. Struggle is a sign of IMAN. Some people who are born Muslims don't even care. and it is a blessing for those of us who have been guided. Allah chose US to be on the path of Islam. Alhamdulilah!

Pray to Allah and Repent. Try your best. even if it is in small and slow steps, atleast your intention would be clean and you would be trying to reach your goal. That's important. Inshallah may Allah help you and guide you, and give you the courage to become closer to Him

Salaam

Answer 9

Perhaps you should seriously consider the fact that he doesn't love you, and that he's not all forgiving.  

Or perhaps you should consider that he is a figment of your imagination.

Or perhaps you should consider that it's impossible for man to know the nature of God.

Answer 10

My advice: ditch the hijab. it doesn't look good on anyone except maybe for halloween

Answer 11

The Prophet saws is reported to have said: "All the children of Adam AS are wrong-doers. And the best of them are those who repent".  So you see dear sister you are not alone.  None of us is without sin.  But the feelings you have actually indicate that you are a better Muslim than you think.  Because people commit all kinds of sins and never give them a second thought, or they even arrogantly believe they are somehow justified.  Allah Almighty says, "Say: 'If you love Allah, then follow me and Allah will love you and forgive you for your wrong actions, Allah is Ever-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (3:31) .  If you have repented sincerely then know that the mercy of Allah swt is endless.  Ramadan is at our door, so if you still feel you have not done enough, then use this month as a great opportunity for repentance.  I wish you the best.

Answer 12

Well i would give u an example.. there is a hadeeth regarding the love of Allah.

Once someone asked Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) as to how much Allah loves us. Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said that Allah loves you 70 times more than your mother.. u know how mothers are? if you even get a scratch she cries for u.... so how much do u think the love of God would be?

doesn't matter how much horrified things you have done in the past... if you honestly ask for his forgiveness and repent from all the sins...and that you would be a good muslim...then Allah is All Merciful All Gracious !

sometimes it happens to many of us, that we love Allah and everything, but are not satisfied within out inner soul/mind living a restless life... because we in reality don't even follow the actual teachings of our lord... we don't follow most of things and then we blame God !

just have faith , and purify yourself, the best start would be to start praying (if you don;t pray at present) .

Answer 13

Because he's God

he not human he's the Almighty we will never understand because we're humans and have different emtions etc;

And we have done a lot of horrible things so what? do we not repent for them..

You know what our prophet said (SAW) when He was asked what kind of people do you love the most ?

He (SAW) answered the people who regret what they have done and change for the better

I hope you feel better hun

Always have faith♥

Answer 14

Salam for you.Allah will give more love if you love Allah.If get near to Allah ,Allah will get nearer to you.Loving Allah means you must obey to Allah's insruction and prohibition as stated in the Qur'an and explained in the Hadits of Muhammad pbuh as muslims life guide.

If you have obeyed it you must convince that you will be loved by Allah and your wrong doings will be forgiven by Allah.You must pray on time and make du'a,you must fasting during ramadan,you must pay zakat and make more good doings and avoid bad doings.