How is marriage conducted in Islam?

Question

AssalamualikumWarahmatullahiWabarakatuh, Brothers and Sisters. I hope your day is going well.

I have a few general questions about marriage; just curious.

-Generally, how is the correct way a marriage should to be conducted in Islam?

-Can women in Islam appoint a Wali who's a complete stranger, but of religious and mature status to marry her off to whom she wishes to marry? Or does the Wali have to meet this future spouse, and agree to marrying him beforehand?

-Witnesses: Can these witnesses (two men; one man, two women) be strangers, or do they have to be someone you are familiar with?

That's all for now.

Jazakumullah Khair for your time and answers.

Ma'asalamah.

Answer 1

Salam Sister,

4 Major things to be aware of...

1) Consent of both parties.

2) "Mahr" a gift from the groom to his bride.

3) Witnesses- 2 male or female.

4) The marriage should be publicized, it should never be kept secret as it leads to suspicion and troubles within the community.

The websites below are very detailed sister, I hope I helped.

Answer 2

The wali should be someone the girl trusts knows her well enough to want the best for her, and to care about what she wants out of life and have an ongoing relationship with her to protect her from her husband in case there is anything wrong with him. His role is to get the dowry contract on paper and negotiate with the groom about how much he will give and on what date. Most walis will at least try to make him buy their daughter a car, or a set of jewelry, or a pile of money.

The best person to do this is the father, brother or uncle even if they are not Muslim. It's very important for her father to give away the bride in every culture. An elder from the mosque should also be present to represent her Islamically but her biological father's role should not be undermined in the ceremony.

It is permissible for the witnesses to be strangers but it is not advised for the sake of protecting the woman's reputation. For example, a Muslim man married a woman I know, but when he died, his previous wife showed up in America and said that she was the real wife. She actually got four Yemeni men to lie and say they had slept with her, as her "evidence" to the imam. The judge ruled that this woman who just showed up for the funeral was his real wife, because she had his kids. She was his cousin in an arranged marriage but he left her decades ago. So...

A woman should never get married without protection of her father and without witnesses who know her well and will go to court and testify on behalf of her virtue.

Answer 3

They told me I was a servant, says Muslim bride 'beaten every day' after being flown from Pakistan for arranged marriage

By Daily Mail Reporter

Last updated at 3:30 PM on 06th August 2008

The relative of a young Muslim bride who was beaten every day and treated like a servant after an arranged marriage, described a catalogue of abuse the woman experienced today.

Zahida Khan told St Albans Crown Court her cousin Sania Bibi, 20, had described a range of incidents she suffered at the hands of her husband and mother-in-law.

Mrs Bibi was allegedly abused and treated like a slave after she arrived in Britain from Pakistan following the marriage in April 2006.

Today Zahida Khan told the jury of a series of incidents Sania had told her about after she fled to relatives in Blackburn early last year.

She said: "Sometimes when they would eat she wasn't offered any food, apparently because her background was very poor.

'Nobody acknowledged her, never spoke to her apart from telling her what to do.

'She said when she had finished (her daily tasks) and she had nothing else to do sometimes she would be upset that she missed her family or wanted to speak to her sister.

'Her mother-in-law would say, 'go up to your room'. She would take her up to her room and say 'cry in there'.'

Yesterday the court heard that Sania was constantly beaten and treated like a slave after arriving in Britain from Pakistan following an arranged marriage.

Her husband Haroon Akhtar, 28, of Paston Road, Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire, denies five counts of actual bodily harm and one of putting a person in fear of violence.

His father Ali Akhtar, 55, of the same address, denies theft of jewellery his daughter-in-law had been given at the wedding.

Mother-in-law Zafia Bibi, 49, denies theft and putting a person in fear of violence.

Ms Khan gave the descriptions based on notes made when Sania fled to Blackburn, read out by prosecutor George Heimler.

She said Haroon Akhtar told his bride to "get used" to crying and even made her clean windows outside in icy, cold weather.

She described an incident when Haroon had beaten his wife.

She said: 'He came into the bathroom, grabbed hold of Sania's hair, dragged her out and slapped her across the face then pushed her down the stairs, then followed her and pushed her face into the door then told her to get out.

'The mother-in-law was stood by and said, 'leave it yet, we have plenty of time for this'.

'That was the incident that happened when she had not cleaned the bath properly.

'That was significant because she was hurt quite badly then.'

She also described an incident where Zafia Bibi had blamed Sania for revealing a secret that led to her being slapped.

She added: 'The mother-in-law had gone to London for the day and she bought a chicken and cooked it.

'When the father-in-law came home he asked Sania, 'where has the chicken come from?'.

'She told him the mother-in-law had been to London and bought it from there.

'The father-in-law then slapped the mother-in-law. She was not supposed to go to London for some reason which Sania was not aware of.

'The mother-in-law then told Haroon that the father had slapped her for Sania because Sania had been stirring it, she had done something that she wasn't supposed to do.

'She had told the father-in-law where the chicken had come from but she didn't know that was supposed to be a secret.

Answer 4

to Firstofight... It doesn't surprise me you are a stupid Christian.  Islam as in ISRAEL, dumb ***.  They are jewish and we are at peace with them.  But of course like all christians you judge things you know NOTHING about.

Answer 5

Are you Muslim?

You should try to find out by yourself

Answer 6

I dont know, i stick to Christianity :) I think they tie a bomb around the couples wrist and when they say "I DO" the Pastor/Rabbi detonates it.

Answer 7

AssalamualikumWarahmatullahiWabarakatuh to you too. sorry i have no knowledge of this subject. plese tell your family i said AssalamualikumWarahmatullahiWabarakatuh.