How is my poem please rate it from 1-10 give me comments too.?

Question

i am trying to get this poem published please rate it for me

liquor by ailvilo

suicide in a bottle

liquor by name

you try to be ever so suttle

but everything always ends in shame

maybe your addiction was meant to be

maybe you love your liquor more than me

to me it no longer matters

just die leave go far away

just dont stay

im not your wife im your child

towards me your emotions are too wild

here i sit crying

while you sit dying

slowly

sip by sip

and i think "hurry up"

Answer 1

4/10. Definitely clean up your spelling. The rhyme is a little off; I don't see a real pattern. When you use rhyme, you're indicating to the reader that it's a formal poem. That's pretty out of style right now (though it's making a comeback), so it may be hard to get it published anyway.  There's also nothing new, here. Try to think of a different way to express thoughts of suicide and alcoholism if you want to communicate those in poem. Word of warning though: those kinds of poem have littered editors' trash cans for decades.

You do, however, have a decent sense of rhythm, which is why you didn't get a 2 from me. :)

Answer 2

Metre and spelling are lacking.  It's not terribly thoughtful; as if it took about 10 minutes to write. 2/10 for at least not being "free verse".

Answer 3

metre,spelling and rythm are lacking.i can give a 6/10.its a good start,carry on

Answer 4

I give that poem a 10/10. It was amazing. You have a gift.