How is my poem?

Question

I wrote a free-verse poem about my struggle with anorexia from which I just recovered. I would like some opinions, thank you.

I wish...

I was

beautiful and lovely

No one could stop me

from being so free

determined and fighting

winning, so precisely

i cant, believe

i'm dying slowly

just a year ago

i lived a life on my own

i knew what was right,

i knew that night, i changed

and through it all, all i've lost is

dignity and security, just thru mediocrity

i now see that this disease

has taken over me.

i call my friend just to say 'i cant go"

the food there scares me away, that I know

I'd rather be alone, knowing that the numbers won't budge

today turns into tomorrow,

the night turns into day,

i stare outside my window

the dial stays the same.

i cry, just knowing, i'm dying

i sigh, just realizing i'm this way.

you can't stop me

its eating me alive

you can't fight it

cuz if you do,I will die

It has me hostage

locked inside, all chained

and now, i've lost it

my mind is dull, i've given up

Answer 1

This poem is great! I'm glad you recovered! =) I wouldn't change anything in this poem, you have written it awesome! From this poem you can tell how an anorexic person feels. This poem is also sad because it tells how having anorexia can keep you in a lot of danger ! Glad you recovered and hope you don't feel the way you said in the poem! =)

Answer 2

it's a very nice written poem. you used tone and theme well, if you didn't realize you did. i like the lines that go, "today turns into tomorrow/the night turns into day/i stare outside my window/the dial stays the same". the imagery in that is very vivid.

also, i hope you're doing well now. i've never been through anorexia or bulimea, but i can sort of understand that it's really hard on yourself. you should keep writing poetry. i like the style.

Answer 3

You begin by saying you've over come it and end with:

"and now I've lost it and 'given up"

Which is it?

         Good attempt at putting your feelings on paper, study what you have written to better know your self.

Answer 4

Should I be worried bout u?

Answer 5

without the title you could of guessed what i is about. those are my facvouruite types because you have to guess.

this is my poem

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 6

for me any words that comes from the heart of anyone being name mankind as long as it is sincere when arranged in poetry are sumthing so yeah your poem is great for me. Thumbs up .