How is my poem? wrote it for english?

Question

Hey we had to wright something for my english class about abandonment i hope this fits it?

Your breath does not hold sway

Blood will not break

Yet love is the bridge

My bridge has collapsed

You are the fire

You are the poison

Make like a mother and get gone

Answer 1

I don't like the last line... the rest is brilliant... the last line makes it seem... I don't know.. rushed...

Answer 2

I'm not quit feeling the meaning and intent of what it was supposed to be about. Try again! :)

Answer 3

This is really unique but what exactly is it about?

Answer 4

I don't really like the last line.  And I don't get the first line.  Other than that, I like it!  :)