How is this Poem? Please rate 1-10 thanks, Mike?

Question

To gain a tranquil heart

doesn't happen from the start

taking many years

with countless tears

trials and tribulations

in conquering ones fears

Composure doesn't

happen by chance

only by self understanding

through poise and patience

A balanced mind

is a sign of inner strength

steadfast and serene

like a perfectly ripened fruit

Answer 1

Like a perfectly ripened fruit can be misconstrued to be part of the last stanza only. It took me a while to figure out you meant that as a metaphor of the whole process. That said it's still good. Although it still needs a little more "umph!" to it I think (I can't describe what that is).

I'll give it an 8.

How 'bout this:

http://rlexperiment.blogspot.com/2008/08...

Answer 2

Omg!!! I love ur poem.  10 all the way. you are really good

Answer 3

It's pretty good, the ending kind of loses it's rythm though.  5 for me -- but of course poetry is very subjective.

Answer 4

I will give you a 8. It rings a bell to me as if I have read that somewhere before. Did you post it somewhere else?

Answer 5

EXCELLENT!!! i love it. very good. you have talent. keep writing. you have the power to move people. very ell done. snaps for you!

for a rating out of 10, i'd give you a TWENTY.

Answer 6

A 7 try not to force on the rhymes it doesnt flow as well if they sound forced... also try to add adjectives... Please go to my profile and my questions and read my poetry... please comment... thanks!

Answer 7

Hmmm...

I sorta kinda liked it,

no matter how you typed it.

it was pretty cool,

but it should be about a pool.

About the pool part,

I didn't mean it I just had to make it rhyme