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How is this for a scholarship essay? Feel free to offer advice, I really need this money!?

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Ever since I was a young boy, of ten, I have wanted to become a veterinarian. I guess you can say that is my dream. I have always adored animals. I had two dogs Shadow, who passed when I was six, and Midnight who just passed recently. I have been to the vet with my dogs many times and have seen, first hand, the type of work that veterinarians do. This is why I wish to pursue a college education at the University of Connecticut, so that I may one day become a veterinarian and be able to assist in keeping people’s pets healthy. One issue, however, for going to the University of Connecticut is money, which is why I need this scholarship. If I am able to go to this college my major will be animal medicine pre-veterinary category. I love to be around animals and I really would enjoy how happy people are when their sick pet is healed. I do realize that it is not all this easy; there are many challenging tasks to being a veterinarian. I would have to deal with the people who come to put their pet to sleep and I would be the one putting their pet to sleep. This is where people skills come in, which I excel at.

Through my education, I will mature as a young adult and I will gain much more knowledge, not only in my field of veterinary medicine, but also in life. My education, which will ultimately lead to me becoming a veterinarian, will benefit others and me in many ways.

Pets are a very important part of people’s lives and both the pet and the owner benefit from veterinary care. In addition veterinarians can also protect against zoonotic diseases, which can transfer from animals to humans.

I too, can benefit from being a veterinarian. I will develop many close bonds with both the animals and their owners. In addition to this, I will also develop even further my people skills.

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  1. Cool thanks, im going to steal it now and get your scholarship.


  2. I would leave out all the "how this benefits me" things and try to show more of how you will be a benefit to animals and owners. The school already knows that it's students will benefit by the education. They are looking for students willing to give it their all both in school and after they graduate.

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