How is this for a start to a feature article/opinion piece?

Question

The release of Bill Henson’s latest exhibition, featuring nude children, has spiked many controversial issues. One of the main problems that have arose is whether parents should have the right to permit their children to be publicly displayed au naturel. In other words: do parents prerogative to allow their children to be exploited and humiliated in front of millions?

Please help me improve it in anyway i can.

thank you!

Answer 1

Two thoughts come quickly to mind:

1. Banish the word "controversial" from your head. It has become a cliche.

2. Is it an opinion piece or feature piece? It makes a difference on how you'd approach it. If it is an opinion piece, you probably need to take a stand on the story right away. The story you have might work for a feature piece, although it's still a little slow to get started.

Hope this helps.

Answer 2

Always remember to apply the rule, "Who, What, Why, Where and How" and those elements should be contained within your first paragraph, making it short, sharp and quick.

Your piece doesn't mention where the exhibition was having an impact so it would probably be best to write, "The release of Bill Henson's latest exhibition at the Art Gallery of New South Wales..."

Personally, I would write the first paragraph like this.

The release of Bill Henson's latest exhibition featuring photographs of nude children, at the Art Gallery of New South Wales, caused a public outcry and questioned the vulnerability of minors.

I really don't like the words, "problems" and "arose" so I would be more likely to say, "One of the main issues that was raised..."

I wouldn't put a question in the first paragraph. It really belongs in the middle of your work or towards the end. Also, perhaps you could word it as such, "Should it be a parent's prerogative to allow their children to be portrayed in such a manner that may deem them to be exploited in front of millions?" You want your readers to think.

I hope that helps you and I tried not to change it too much because it should be in your own style of writing.

Answer 3

To me God did not make an ugly man or woman or child only mankind sees it as such

.. .. ..

When you are looking at the child you are in essence looking at an image of God

.. . ..

And God made man in his own image in the image of God did He make man

.. .. ..

Look at the body as a marvel of creation in its complexity and beauty of it

only God could of made something as this

and you are looking at the skill of

God the Master artist

that will never be challenged in creating such a piece of beauty and complexity as the human body

.. ..

Answer 4

I would rewrite it to sound like this:

The release of Bill Henson's latest exhibition, which features nude children, has sparked talk of many issues. One main problem that has risen is whether parents should have the right to permit their children to be put on public display au naturel.

When writing a piece, your aim is to say more with less and never be repetitive. Remember, the easiest thing in the world is to stop reading - most people usually don't even get past the first paragraph of any news story. Good luck!