How is this poem I wrote.

Question

I worte this, just looking for soem honest feedback.

Let me know what you think!

Writing is easy when you know what you’ve lost.

Sadness is hard, whatever the cost.

I look inside me and see what once was.

I look in the future and see only me.

If you only knew you would listen to my plea.

If your hate wasn’t there, it would be easy to see.

Right now I so feel, that I don’t have the chance.

To ever bring back our perfect romance.

If we were to part ways, I’d hope for the best.

But I know in the future I will find so much less.

You are the mad one. You will be fixed.

I am the sad one. For I wont be missed.

Please don’t leave me. I can beg for so long.

Please don’t leave me. Ill cry when you’re gone.

I will hope for that day. I will wait by the door.

To know that I am, the one you want more.

Good times and bad, we’ve had them both.

Whatever happened to our solemn oath?

God sure has got me. Gods put me to test.

Why must I be the one you love less.

Answer 1

Wow!!!

Nice poem

Answer 2

Very interesting rhythm and rhyme scheme, though I must admit I do not quite like the self-pitying tone of the poem. However, this is me personally. It sounds like it wavers between anger, self-pity, and longing, but it doesn't seem to focus on any of those three, leaving me slightly disjointed and a little confused at the end.

On the whole, however, it's a decent read.

Answer 3

wow that is amazing. i can only wish to write beautiful poems like this. although it is sad i understand clearly (unlike some poems).

I will pray for you and whatever you are going through. and i can relate a lot to this. i will not soon forget this poem. its stuck to me like glue

Answer 4

Hello Friend...

         Well.......To be frank...I just couldn't  understand the first line.....rest all sounded like the lyrics of some famous album (Wish you find some pal who could compose a tune for your poem)....Each line spoke the pain hidden between those words. Congrats .... emerging modern Poet......

But u could have checked ur spelling in the intro...its 'k...b careful next time..... from a friend  

Answer 5

I'm not crazy about this because it is so miserable and pining.  The protagonist obviously needs to let go, but hasn't even though the relationship is completely over.  S/he grasps at straws knowing that the romance wasn't and could never have been perfect.  The line, "I'll cry when you're gone," effectively summarizes the protagonists delusion.  His/her lover has already moved on and so should s/he.

On a positive note, the rhythm is nice and all the qualities of poetry exist.  For me, though, the protagonist is too sick and ultimately ends up back at the beginning.