How is this?

Question

This Stranger

I stand in the middle

Of the setting sun,

As butterflies swarm around me

In the summer heat.

A breeze lifts my long

Brown hair and makes

My murky brown eyes glow;

And my skin tingle.

What else could do this to me?

Make my skin tingle

And my eyes glow?

Ah, there it is.

Just beyond this hill,

Which is where I stand now.

There is a man there,

Who doesn't know what he does.

I would give you his name,

But I know it not.

I know not whom this man is.

He is a stranger to me.

A stranger which brings

Shivers to my skin

When he glances at me.

I have a feeling

He will be included in my future

But only time will tell,

If we are meant to be.

For now, I am content

To have him gaze at me

Each morning

On this hill.

I smile and wave

At this mysterious stranger

And it is the first time ever,

That a smile reaches his lips.

There is something about

This person who has invaded my thoughts

This person who has stolen my heart.

This stranger.

Answer 1

i love it

it taps into emotion and

portaits a pictue in my headd

awesum ;)

welldone

Answer 2

VERY GOOD, not dark or gloomy!  WOW.  It has good imaging in it, I can see the sun and the hill and you looking across at this person who is not well defined but I think thats the intent of the poem, they are a mystery still but one that has given you an interest and more importantly, a purpose to turn your attention from dark thoughts.  Soooo, A+ for you and its a shame that anyone would take the time to rate it but not bother to finish reading and understanding it.

Answer 3

"Ding ding ding ding!"...poem alarm going off...

This is excellent.

Answer 4

I LOVE IT!!! =D It's like one of he best poems I ever read really!!! Anyway it has deep emotion and meaning in the poem, not to mess with strangers!!! Keep on writting!!!=]

Answer 5

I guess it's pretty good;

But boring.

I didn't finish it.

Answer 6

this is very good.  u should publish it with the National poetry association.  there is a web site for poetry and it tells u how to publish it online.  u good win money!!

Answer 7

It's pretty good.  It could probably stand to have a few lines edited, as you use a lot of lines to say very little.  But that's up to you.

I would point out a couple of grammar issues, though.  (I can't help it, I was an English major in college.):



-  In line 19, you should use 'who' instead of 'whom.'  

"Whom" is used as an object (such as the object of a preposition).  For example: "to WHOM do you refer?"  or "for WHOM are you calling?" or "I'm not sure to WHOM I should give this.

"Who" is used as, or to refer to, a subject.  For example: "the girl WHO lived here," or "WHO among us knows the answer?" or "I am the one WHO did it," or "I don't know WHO this man is."

-  In line 20, I think you want "a stranger WHO brings,"

If you mean to say the stranger causes you to shiver.   (Because 'who' -- as mentioned above --indicates a person.  'Which' indicates an object or condition. )

If you mean your chills are not because of the specific person, but merely from the fact that there is a stranger (perhaps because strangers are uncommon in the area), then 'which' is appropriate; but you then need a comma after the word 'stranger.'

Nice work, overall.

Answer 8

This poem is soooo good!!!!!!

Answer 9

That is really good!