How likely is it that a child predator reoffends?

Question

My husband was molested (raped) as a child by his parents. He was 7 and he is almost 30 now and claims that his parents are totally changed people and could never do that to our children. He feels comfortable with our children being with them, however I do not. I dont feel comfortable one bit. They are down visiting and want our girls to spend the night and I just cannot do it. He gets upset because his mom is now a "Jehovah's witness" and his dad is a respected retired man in his community, but I dont care.

Do you think its likely that his parents will molest again? BTW, when my husband was around 14, he and his sister found little girls panties (his sisters) in his Dads safe. Im disgusted.

Answer 1

Your are absolutely right in everything you say.  Do what you have to do but don't let them near your kids.  Trust yourself.  If you think its wrong it probably is.  Your poor husband must be so confusing for him.  

Answer 2

Don't leave your children alone with those people- they are very likely to reoffend. Go with your gut, you feel uncomfortable for a reason. Your husband can get upset all he wants but your kid's safety has to come first.

Answer 3

I wouldn't ever and i mean EVER leave my child in a room alone with them for even a second!!!!!!!!!

Answer 4

I agree with you.

As someone with alot of experience with traumatized adults who were mollested as children, I would NEVER trust someone like that. I practically don't trust normal people let alone that type!

Just say that you want the kids to sleep at home and they get cranky otherwise... your inlaws can sleep over your place. This way your kids will sleep in their own beds.

All the best.

Answer 5

Unfortunately, sexual deviancy is one of the few mental disorders that we have not found a way to cure yet.  The urges are always there though the offenders may be strong enough to combat them.  However, you need to use your motherly instinct on this one.  Your job (as I'm sure you know) is to protect your children and if even the slightest possibility exists that they may be hurt, you shouldn't let them in that situation.  Why do they want them to spend the night so badly?  And the fact that his mother has found Jehovah doesn't make much of a difference.  She stayed with a man that did that, so she already shows a propensity to look the other way.  Just because your husband has forgiven him, doesn't alter the fact that the event occurred.  You know you'll be paranoid the entire time they're gone if you do let them go.  And you know that you'll be going over them with a fine tooth comb when they return.  It will make you crazy.  The main thing you need to ask yourself, is how on earth will you forgive yourself if you let them go and something happens to them.  I'd rather fight with my husband over a preventative measure than fight with him because I'm going to go castrate and kill his father for hurting my children and he objects.

Answer 6

very likely.  

i would stay away from those nasty people.  

Answer 7

I would never leave my children alone with your husband's parents.  

1) offenders are not "cured"

2) a mother's instincts are not to be ignored

3) your husband is personally emotionally invested so he should defer to your decision that is more likely invested in the kids than anyone else

Your husband is lucky and strong to be a mentally healthy person after being abused.  Children who are abused often do not recover mentally.  Please do not risk your children.

Answer 8

Very likely.  I don't believe that particular illness can be cured.

Answer 9

I can totally understand why you would feel uncomfortable with your kids being at his parents' house. What you should do first is have them come over and let them hang out with the girls... but don't leave. You can just I guess "spy" and see what is going on. Then, if your girls are going to stay the night with them, put hidden cameras in all of the rooms (bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, etc). That way, if they DO do the "deed" then you can show it to the police and have them arrested.

As far as how likely it will be, it all depends on the person/people. His may really have changed and moved on and are really nice people now. But then again they could just be saying that and they still do that stuff. Just schedule a "play-date" with the kids and their grandparents and see how they act around the kids.

btw: the thing about the panties in the Dad's safe is really sick and disgusting. :-S

Answer 10

I would never let my children near those monsters!

Answer 11

VERY LIKELY!!! you are being smart do not leave them with them for a simple errand.  

Answer 12

You have answered your own question, If you allow your children to spend the night with your parents and anything happens, then you are to blame. I am not so sure that your husband, isn't a predator, talk to your dhildren and be very careful, of him.