How long did your husband/bf take off after the baby was born?

Question

I get my 8 week maternity leave but my husband spoke to his boss and she said he can have 2 DAYS!!!! That's all!?!?!? I will be in the hospital probably 2 days, I'm being induced on September 2nd at 5am. I asked him if that was right and he said yes he looked in the handbook and it says it there also (I havent checked it yet) I'm just worried about taking baby home and being there all alone...did it come naturally for you to just know what to do?

Answer 1

I had the same thing.  My husband only had 2 days off.  The day I gave birth and the day after. He had to take a long lunch to bring me home from the hospital and I was home by myself.  The only bad part is how tired I was.  I couldn't sleep at the hospital.  I was so excited.  My advice is sleep while you are at the hospital if you can.  The maternal instinct will kick in once your son is born.  Mine did.  I wasn't sure that it would either, but everything went well.  For the first few weeks I was sore and really tired, but my son slept often.  He would sleep for an hour and then eat and then I would change a diaper and we repeated this process over and over.  I would sleep when he did.  I had meals ready for when I was at home.  That is the hardest part.  Try to get yourself something that would be quick to eat.  You won't have time (or the energy) to make something for yourself.  Don't worry you will be able to do it.  The first month or so is the hardest, but it is totally rewarding.

Answer 2

Your husband should be able to take off more time, but it might not be paid time off.  Plus, if he works at a small company then I don't think they have to give family leave.  My mom stayed with me for the first week when I had my children.  The first few days can be rough and if you can get someone to come and stay with you while your husband is at work it might help.  But if you can't, it will be ok.  You will be able to figure out what to do.  Taking care of the baby came pretty naturally to me.  My mom was most helpful because she was taking care of me.

Answer 3

I'm having the same issue!  I am almost 38 weeks pregnant with our 2nd baby.  When we had our daughter we were living with family, so there was always help around.  Now, I am a stay at home mom with a very active 3 year old and will have a newborn.  I am in a little panic as well.  My boyfriend let his boss know that when the baby is born he will be taking time off to help me in the hospital.  And her response was "SHE COULD BE IN THE HOSPITAL FOR ATLEAST 2 DAYS!!" He said "yeah, and I plan on being there for her".  I was told, in the state of florida, husbands ARE entitled to a kind of maternity leave.  But it is unpaid.  But they can not be fired for it.  Your husband can try and take maybe his vacation days that week and stay with u for just a week or a couple days.  I don't know what his schedule is, but if he doesn't work weekends, ask your doctor to induce you on a friday so that way by Sunday you are out, and then he can take Monday & Tuesday off to help get you scheduled.  Good Luck Girl!  I'm sure everything will work out.  And Congrats on the baby!!!!!!!!!! :)  

Answer 4

My husband took off two weeks, but he has been at his job almost ten years.  You'll be fine, but you'd be better if you weren't being induced.  Induction always makes for a harder labor and often a c section (which if you have you will need help for at least a week).  Otherwise, rest and lay the baby in bed with you so you can sleep and nurse on demand.

Answer 5

less than a week.

i had my son on a tues and left the hositpal on a thurs. and my fiance went back to work that mondy. so he only had from tues-friday off--he doesnt work weekends.

and it sucked hardcore, but i made it through. i had family and friends to help out. i was just plain tuckered out and tired.  

ps. my b-day is on the 2nd GO VIRGOS!

it will be okay when you're home. i just had my first baby in feb. 2008 and all he did was sleep, p**p, and eat. it gets hardere when they're older actually with the baby food and the playing and blah blah blah.  the first 8 weeks were a breeze.

if you getting a c-section though, you might need help because you might be in pain. i had a vaginal birth and was in pain w/ all the stiches, but i pull through. dont have much of a choice. you just do what you got to do....and then hand him/her over to your hubby when he gets home and take a NAP

Answer 6

WHAT? no. assuming you are in the US, he can take 6 weeks just like a mom. however, there are exceptions. for example, if the company has fewer than 50 employees, then they do not have to grant the leave. there are a few others -- i have forgotten them. my husband took 2 weeks, then went back, then quit and used the profit from the sale of our house (we were moving cross country) to stay home for 6 months. but those were very fortunate circumstances. and, btw, he didn't help that much when he was home :)

anyway, you can get the parameters of the law online. google "family leave act." good luck and congrats!

edit: and btw, while i am sure induction is hard on some people, i was induced -- and my labor was totally easy. i pushed ruby out in 5 pushes, no tearing, no problem. i felt great by that night. seriously. and you'll be surprised how much you figure out as you are going.

Answer 7

I don't know where you live but here in the UK the dad is entitled to 14 days paternity leave as far as I am aware.

My partner had his 14 days even though they don't get the same pay of course.

Do you have any family nearby who would be able to come help you out if you are concerned?  It will come naturally to you so you don't need to worry that you won't know what to do but you will be very tired and it will be hard in that aspect to do everything by yourself.  you will need to rest as much as possible and at least for the first month just focus on your health and your baby (that means not having to worry about the house as well i.e. cooking, cleaning, etc.)   also you will be going through so many different emotions and your hormones will be all over the place that it is a good idea to have a good support network when you come home.  good luck x

Answer 8

If you're being induced, is there anyway he can schedule some of his vacation time for that time period so he can be home with you?  I believe there is such a thing as paternity leave protected under FMLA (family medical leave act) that he could fall under to take some time off.  Of course, that doesn't guarantee a paycheck, but if he has any vacation and or personal time he could use that.

My husband put in for vacation time starting on my due date a few months before the due date.  Once I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and found out they would not let me go passed my due date he put in for a week off starting on my due date.  Then, I was induced the week before my due date and he took that week off as well.  So my husband took two weeks off after the birth of our son.  It was a goidsend having him there to help as I was recovering from a c-section.

If he can't get that time, you will still be fine.  It will be stressfull but you will surprise yourself at just how much you can handle and how well you handle your new little one.

Good luck and congrats!!

Answer 9

My husband got no time off. Luckily our son was born on a fri. Any how being home alone with baby is not so bad. Baby will sleep a lot and you should nap too cuz that wont last that long. Don't worry about knowing what to do. If you had no other support ( which I know you have the web) you can always call the nurse at your peds office

Answer 10

My husband is getting 1 week paternity leave, it probably differs from company to company..  

Answer 11

I live in the UK, my husband got 1 week fully paid (it depends on the company), second week he worked from home ( IT guy). Don't worry too much, you'll know what to do (if in doubt there's always Yahoo answers:), but if you can, get your mum or a good friend to help you out for a week or two as you won't get much time to do any housework or even to properly feed yourself.

Good luck

Answer 12

With our 1st, my husband was in the military and he took a 30 day leave.  With our 2nd, he had *just* started a new job and had 0 vacation time.  Our son was born on Friday afternoon and my husband was back at work on Monday morning.  As soon as he gets home, give him the baby and take a break, you deserve it and he needs the time to bond anyway.  Congratulations!  It will come naturally and if it doesn't, everything will fall into place soon.  : )

Answer 13

It is a bit scary but don't worry you'll be fine. It's kinda crappy that your husband only gets 2 days though. My husband took off a week when i had our little girl but he was able to take off 6 weeks if something would have happened. His company is great when it comes to family. Maybe your husband and check into some other kind of time off like sick time or vaction time. One or two extra days with you and the little one can't hurt. Good luck and Congrats!

Answer 14

does your husband have any vacation or personal time he can use in addition to the 2 days?  does the company fall under the fmla regulations?  can you afford for him to go unpaid while he's home with you?  It's not uncommon for fathers and mothers to go unpaid while they're home with their baby...having 2 paid paternity days is more than I get and i'm the one giving birth.  Figure out what your budget can handle and maybe your husband can take unpaid leave if he has no other time.  If all else fails, I'm sure you will do just fine on your own.  

Answer 15

My hubby took the week off, but he used his vacation days. I went in Monday night (he took off that day because he was tired from going to labor and delivery early that morning, and I was still having contractions), then had baby Tues morning and stay at hospital until Thurs. Fri-Sun he was home with us then Monday back to work. So he was home with us for 3 days...

His sister was with us the week our son was born too, but she returned to work Monday as well.  

Answer 16

well maybe ur husband can take a few vacation days as well. it may not be paid vacation but to be with you and the baby would be nice right.  

Answer 17

My husband didn't get to stay home at all when our son was brought home from the hospital, don't worry you will know what to do.

And at least you will get 2 days together and you can catch up on some sleep and feel rested for the remaining time you get to spend with your son.

Just think of this every mom that has their 1st baby is a 1st time mom and none of us had a rule book to go by either and we figured it out, it is in us and you will know what to do. Yes you will be tired and ready for the "hand off" when your hubby gets home but enjoy your time learning all about your new little man and if something comes up that you are not sure about call your mom or your grandma or sister (if she has children) or a friend that has had a kid, I learned the "old" moms love to give advice and it will be so helpful in your time of need.

Good luck to you, you are going to love it!!

Answer 18

My husband is taking a week of unpaid leave. Even if he can't get paid for it I'm sure his employer will allow a few extra days off.

Answer 19

My husband was allowed as much time as he had earned off.  He's in the military, so it's paid.  He decided to take two weeks to help me heal up and help care for his daughter.  Those two weeks flew by.  Another reason he took 2 weeks off is because we just moved out of the country and knew literally no one, so I have had no help (besides hubby) since our daughter was born.

Don't worry about it.  Although you will be exhausted, you will automatically know what to do once your little bundle arrives, it's maternal instinct.  If you get scared you can always call the pediatrician or a nurse help line.  Congrats on the baby!

Answer 20

My husband took 2 weeks of his annual leave (luckily his boss was nice enough that we could organise it as a 'call you when she goes into labour, take 2 weeks off from that day' thing)

You will definitely know what to do! It's surprising how much you just take it in your stride & do what needs to be done without even really thinking about it! I swear my hubby managed too much time with his playstation in those 2 weeks!! My best advice is - get a glass of water BEFORE you sit down to feed the baby! lol. Also, a little crying never hurt a bub, so if you have to put him down while you go to the loo or something, he'll be fine!!  

Answer 21

Aaron thought he was going to get 2 days off, but once he called his boss to say our son was born his boss said, "dude...that's a big deal. Take as long as you need!" His boss paid him for 2 days off, but let him take a full 2 weeks to be home with us :) I bet if your husband talks to your boss and explains he'd really like to take a full week off to be with your since it's your first child and you'll need physical and emotional support...I bet his boss would be more than happy to help him out. Best of luck!

*edit* On another note...I signed up all my family, friends, and in laws within an hour raidus on an assigned day when he went back to work...My best friend came out 2 days after she got off work to help, my mom came out 2 days to help, my mother in law came over when she got off work to check on us...so on and so on so I had people coming after work so I could nap, shower, eat, or just relax with company. Best of luck!

Answer 22

We're from Quebec, Canada so --I'm gonna get everyone here jealous.

I got maternity leave when I was 6 month pregnant and I'll be on it until baby is 9 months. My boyfriend has 5 weeks of what they call "paternity leave" and then he is entitled of 3 month of "parental leave". Which means, he'll have a little more then 4 months with me.

His boss was forced to give him the 5 weeks, but not the 3 months though, that was very generous of him.

Does your hubby has any vacations day he can use? Sorry, can't help much more.

Answer 23

Honestly, you wont know what to do when you get home.  No one does!  I sure didn't!  But don't sell yourself short.  You know more than you think you do.  It is just going to take lots of time and even more patience than you thought you had for you to get used to the baby and the baby to get used to you!  You can do it though!  Its hard, but it is totally worth it!!

You should have been reading lots of books (if not you had better get reading!!) that was a huge help to me.  As I said for the most part it is going to be a huge learning experience.  Just make sure you ask lots and lots and lots and even more questions when you are at the hospital.  That is what they are there for and they will be glad to help you!  There is no stupid question so ask them!  I had to ask how to change a diaper as I wasn't sure and now I can do it almost one-handed!!  

You'll be fine, just remember, patience and practice!!

Answer 24

My husband is taking 1 week off paid (his vacation time) and one week of FMLA. How big is your husbands company he works for? They require him to be able to take time off (unpaid of course) if there are more than 50 ee's at least I believe that's the law in the US. But try to relax- I'm sorry as I know that's got to be stressful but our maternal instincts will kick in- and I'll be on YAHOO a lot so we can chat and help each other out :) I get induced on the 4th...  

Answer 25

Yikes!  I would be freaking out too.  You said you were getting induced on the the 2nd?  That is a Wednesday -so he can take Wednesday and Thursday off, but you probably won't even go home until Friday morning - and that's if the labor happens to be smooth.  He will need to be there to bring you home Friday, so you might ask him to use a vacation day.  Then you two will have the weekend together.  Then maybe you should ask him to try and work only 3 days the next week?    Or, another option would be for him to go to work Thursday (assuming you deliver ok on Wednesday).  That day in the hospital  might be one of the easiest for you to be alone - there will be some support (although not as much as you imagine) - your milk probably won't be in yet, and the baby will sleep a lot of the time.  That way your husband can spend an additional day at home with you, which might be really important to help you recover and to bond with baby.

For at least a week, if not two weeks, this is going to completely turn your life upside down because the baby will not sleep according to normal adult sleeping hours.  She/ He will probably be awake a good part of the night (12am - 3am) and it is really stressful to have a partner who has to get up in the mornings leaving you to deal with awake-at-night baby all alone.  Our best sleeping hours (and many of the other parents who I talk to concur) were between 5am and 10am the week after the birth - you absolutely have to sleep when the kid gives you a chance.  I can imagine it will be very lonely if you are the only one adjusting to the babies schedule, while your husband tries to maintain a schedule where he gets up in the morning to go to work.

On top of this, nursing is hard, and you will be exhausted and sore.  If you are going to be alone all day you need to set-up a nursing station - access to the TV, something to read, pillows, a bouncy chair, lots of water, snacks, lanolin, a hand pump (so you can pump off a little if you get so engorged that the baby has a hard time latching on). Its all gotta be within reach - so that might mean rearranging your living room a bit.   All this assuming you are going to breastfeed (it somewhat still applies if you will be bottle feeding - because you won't want to get up and down, up and down all day).  You might want to start cooking now (although I know you don't feel like it).  Make a huge dish of lasagna (or whatever you like) and cut it into individual servings and freeze it - that way you'll have something besides snacks to eat in those first few days alone.  Also, get some baby books from the library (Dr. Sears, Happiest Baby, How to Nurse, etc) you'll be very interested in those topics (I went through like 5 books on nursing in the middle of the night because every time I laid the baby down he woke back-up or cried or whatever, which meant I spent a lot of time sitting in the bed with him on my lap trying to read.  Try also to anticipate what you will need to take care of yourself when you get home (lots of maxipads because you will bleed like you can't imagine, some nice pajamas that you don't mind hanging out in, motrin, etc).  

You will survive - you just won't think so for the first few days.  Know that the sleeplessness will end (although you'll always be more tired than pre-birth).  The chaos will subside, and some sense of normalcy will return.  Now, go take a nap - it is a luxury that can't be overlooked in these last few days!

Answer 26

My husband took 2 weeks off , but he went in to the office one day each week to take care of some work.  How large is the company he works for? If it's larger than 50 employees he can take FMLA time off, if it's smaller than that, then unfortunately he can't take as much time unless it's approved.

Answer 27

Honey, calm down. Once you have that baby your maternal instincts will kick in and you'll know what to do. I'm sure you have a mother, and your husband has a mother as well that you could call if you really  had no idea what you were doing. It will be fine, just relax.

Answer 28

My hubby took off 2 weeks but it was his vacation.  i think that is the only way to go about it .

i understand what you mean by needing him to be there . heck hubby was home for 2 weeks but still i wasnt too happy when he was ready to go back but you dont really have a choice . tell him to ask for some paid time off or ha can use some of his paid  vacation  

Answer 29

We got 5 days I think. I was terrified of my first day alone with the baby but things came naturally. They will for you too! Now a year later my husband is deployed again and I've been doing it for 9 months straight alone.

You can do this, if your baby cries and you dont know why just keep yourself calm and cry with him. Most important is to sleep when baby sleeps

Answer 30

My husband got off for only 2 days as well..but when i was induced i got to pick the day to start the induction and we would make it on his day off and then he had 2 days after that so 3 all together. he would be with me all 3 days in the hospital but when i got home he had to return to work the following day..being a first time mom u worry about these things but everything will be fine...the motherly instinct just comes to you and u just automatically know what to do..besides baby will be sleeping most of the time anyways..=)