How long does it really take?

Question

We've had our homestudy done since February. We're still waiting to identify a child. How long does this process usually take? We're both getting frustrated, and we want to become parents already, but this is so hard!

Answer 1

It really just depends but it can take time.  Sometimes things factor into what child you’re willing to take? If your waiting for a potential birthmother to choose you.  What kind of adoption:  Through the  Foster Care System, private, though an agency or adoption attorney, International etc?

I know a couple who had their home study done March 2003, got a child that June.

You might join the adoption.com forms they have many couples who are waiting for a child to be placed with them. You’d defiantly get a lot of support over there.

Answer 2

Depends on how many kids you where licensed for. Also depends if you have done your home walk through with your case worker. I would think it would take only a couple of months. Good luck and keep your head up high.

Answer 3

Waiting is the worst part of adopting. You don't mention how you are adopting... private, foster care, international, etc. The waiting can be a few months to a number of years. It's a terrible position to be in. On one hand you want to be parents but on the other hand some one else must loose their child for that to happen. This is why a lot of adoptive parents go international. Programs are usually stable enough to give you an extimated time line. If you are waiting for a new born you have to wait until you are picked by a birth parent or until child protective services removes a child from it's birth parents which always means the child was neglected or abused or drug exposed.

One option is to join a Yahoo group for adoptive parents who are going through the same thing you are. It's a great source of support. They know what you are going through and can offer you suggestions.

Answer 4

Are you looking for a child or an infant ... infants take a long time ... a severed child .. is just what it is your looking to take on .. they may have children but you may not of put in your questionnaire that you are willing to take them on ... call your caseworker and amend your profile and make sure they haven't forgotten your still waiting!!

Answer 5

The bad thing about the adoption, it's not up to the adoptive parents, it's up to the biological mother.

Answer 6

dont think about it just let nature take its course

Answer 7

from the birthmothers perspective, there are many families to choose from. i picked out five different perspective families. one couple had been waiting for years after their first adopted child died from cancer. many of the couples had been waiting for many months. the couple i connected with the most had the values and interests i was looking for. fortunately for them, they didn't have to wait long at all. so yes, if you go to an agency in which the birthparents choose the parents, it is up to them how long you wait. its the reality of adoption (it doesn't make us bad people) and bparents are looking to place their child to a couple that they really think will be the best parents. it's nothing against you (it's only been 4 mos.), the right birthmother just hasn't found you yet. good luck!

Answer 8

Unfortunately it can take some time.  What I would do is a couple times a month contact your case worker to see what progress is being made.  I was amazed when I worked in the field how often workers didn't go out and look for the kids.  If you feel things aren't progressing talk to the supervisior.  It could be that what you are looking to add to your family just isn't available.  If your waiting for an infant, younger child or one with minimal problems then it can take even longer.  You can also be proactive and search yourself on the internet.  Try searching for children available for adoption.  You'll get plenty of hits for photolistings.  Agencies outside your state can consider you if you have completed the homestudy and licensing paperwork.

Answer 9

Are you working through an agency or a social service network?  I would have thought with social services you would have had a child by now, unless you have specific ages, races, etc., that you have requested.  

Waiting to bring your child home is the hardest part of adoption.  However, it is worth every minute of it when that child comes into your life and your family!  

Good luck to you.

Answer 10

are you using an agancy? have they given you a time frame for what to expect? i absolutely hated the waiting part and found it very hard. it can take a long time (upwards of a year or more) but the agency you're working with should certainly be able to give you an idea of what to expect.

Answer 11

Learn to develop some patience. You're going to need them when you get your child(ren)!!!!